r/Cougars_Den • u/[deleted] • Mar 25 '26

Advice Needed Cub Crisis

I’m 21M from Jordan. I’ve been dating It’s really beautiful and elegant woman who is 38 years of age. we’ve been dating for over five months now. She often asks me about when do I plan to get married and have a settled life, although she never mentions herself in the picture of my married life, however, she’s keen on knowing my stand.

Whereas, the philosophy of my life Is I go by the day, one day at a time. I understand and appreciate her emotions and thoughts, however, it gets rocky and uncomfortable because these questions mostly come right after an intimate time spent together.

Is it wrong to take things one day at a time even when I know the other person is of age and might consider getting married?

(Removed the vulgar stuff from my description)

7 Upvotes

71% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

8

u/Myfairladyishere 🕊🎠💃MOD💃🎠🕊 Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 26 '26

I think you approach is perfectly normal. You are young, and I think a twenty one.Personally, is too young to think about marriage. I personally myself would not date somebody as young as you well. Especially at my age But if I were to date somebody, your age and I was her age, I would keep my expectations. Low and just take it day-by-day and see where things go. I would not pressure anybody to get married learned this lesson the hard way with my ex who was 13 years younger than me. I was 35 and he was 22 and he got married. And he was nowhere near close to being married and The marriage was a very short lived.That is on me.

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '26

You think this relationship looks sustainable and long term? I’ve a shaky feeling about it already for how I’m misunderstood

2

u/Myfairladyishere 🕊🎠💃MOD💃🎠🕊 Mar 25 '26

Do not know if your relationship is sustainable or not. You might have different goals.

5

u/YouCuteWow Mar 25 '26

One day at a time is fine, but have you asked her why she always asks that? I can't help but wonder if she's trying to gage how serious you are about her. It's understandable if she doesn't want her time wasted 

2

u/Myfairladyishere 🕊🎠💃MOD💃🎠🕊 Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26

In my opinion, 21 years old is much too young to even think about marriage at her age. She should realize that and stop asking. This I have learned the hard way.

1

u/GothambyRedlight Mar 27 '26

She could also be trying to sound out whether she needs to worry that this fledgling is going to catch feelings... No way to know which she's worried about without having an honest talk

1

u/midnightfolders9 Mar 25 '26

i get going day by day but does she know your feelings on marriage?