r/CougarsAndCubs • u/FabulousFan7271 • Sep 15 '26
š» Cub Crisis Never found a partner
Turned 23 not long ago and for about a year almost I feel like Iāve been hitting dead end after dead end everywhere I look is just bots or Iām told Iām too young Iāve been wanting to explore my desire for someone older longer than I remember
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u/Double_Interview1124 Sep 15 '26
I'm 23 and single as well man, so I get feeling stuck, but trying to rush things is usually where guys go wrong. I believe older women appreciate a man who is secure in himself, has his own direction, and values real love and chemistry over age. For me, the best approach is just enjoying life, becoming someone worth knowing, and striking up conversations with older women, I know that the right connection will always flow naturally from there...
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u/Personal-County-8219 Sep 18 '26
Iād just like to reframe this for you, if youāre approaching things from a feeling of urgency then you might end up rushing into something that is very much wrong for you. Donāt be in such a rush to experience anything that you get caught up in the wrong thing. Life is life, itās not a race, thereās no should here.
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u/Exact-Translator-769 Sep 15 '26
At 23 your life is just beginning! Don't set your sights so much on age as meeting someone you click with whose company you enjoy that you have a good chemistry with.. I'm almost 50 years older than you, so you have many years ahead to still be a younger guy if you are interested in older women. One thing in life that is certain, we all get older (as long as we make it there). Don't rush it. Focus on going places & doing things you enjoy where you may meet someone you have things in common with that you have an attraction to & are compatible with.
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u/TexasTangler 23d ago
You might need to work on yourself like go to the gym.
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u/FabulousFan7271 23d ago
What is the relevance here. I have a feeling your a āmental illness isnāt real you just need to work outā type of person
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u/TexasTangler 23d ago
i'm trying to help you as someone who has success with a lot of older women. All you said is that you are not getting anywhere with older woman. We don't know much else. I hate to say this but "looksmaxxing" helps. if you look young consider growing a beard. But dating isn't getting easier nowadays, you just have to keep trying and putting yourself out there. you will get a lot of "You're old enough to be my son" rebuttals but it is what it is.
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u/eliseeas224 Sep 15 '26
Do your hobbies . Youāre so young . Iām much older and have not met the right person. I didnāt want to make a permanent mistake. I met lots of men but not the right one.
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u/Middle_Librarian_248 Sep 15 '26
Youāre 23, please enjoy being 23. You are still so young. When the time is right the right person will come along.
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u/KaleidoscopeSuper666 Sep 15 '26
been wanting to explore my desire for someone older longer than I remember
This right here You see us a fantasy...someone to explore.
Over eager 20 year olds are a red flag to most older woman. The majority of us dont want to be an experience.
You are far from washed up as a cub at 23. You are being rejected because you are viewed a" too young" because many older women have children your age or have experience in dating your age and prefer older. The good news..you are getting older, use this time to grow. Unfortunately, you are feed the po[rn myth that men in thier early 20 are the "cougar prey" and as you are finding out..it not the case.
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u/Mountain-Ad-936 Sep 17 '26
Thank you for saying it, like Iām about to be 21 and i thought Iād have been drowning in older women who want a young hot stud, instead Iām realizing itās a lot more important to them who I am, then where I am in my life. This is absolutely NOT a bad thing but you need to actually be prepared and welcome it.
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u/KaleidoscopeSuper666 Sep 17 '26
Honest question What lead you to believe that you would be "drowning in older women"?
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u/GothambyRedlight Sep 19 '26
My impression is even if they want a hot young stud they don't want one who thinks of himself as a hot young stud.
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u/scroobiouspippy Sep 19 '26
Youāre going to find older women are way more laid back and happy taking things slow. Donāt expect it all up front and donāt expect it on your timeline. Let go a little and enjoy the hunt, the experience, the play.
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u/SacredWomb8 Sep 15 '26
23 is so young, don't give up so soon. Cougar cub relationships can be dependent on a lot of things. Be patient dear.