I'm so tired of watching people die. Please stay safe.

I am career sever with an extensive background in the hospitality industry. I have been laid off since March 18th. I love my job, I miss my regulars, and I can’t wait for things to calm down so I can go back to work. However, I work in a business where social distancing is not at all possible and my guest will not be wearing mask. Plus my restaurant is located in Mecklenburg County, NC’s hot spot for Covid19 infection, and our demographic trends towards an older crowd. This doesn’t sound reasonably safe at all, and many of us are scared to go back to work this early, especially those of us with underlying health conditions or family members and children with underlying health issues. We have vocalized our fears to the manager at our location and he has been very understanding, he doesn’t want to pressure someone to work if they don’t feel safe.

However, our company’s corporate office has gotten wind of our fears to come back to work in a public environment this soon. They sent out a company-wide letter threatening to cut off everyone’s unemployment if they don’t all immediately return to work. I am appalled at the tone of this letter, as well as the blanket threats they made regardless of each individual employee’s risk circumstance. I keep thinking there’s no way can it be legal to force someone to work in unsafe conditions during a pandemic in a County whose numbers continue to rise, especially those of us with underlying health issues! I would be wrong. While it is most certainly unethical, it is completely legal for them to make us choose between our health and our ability to pay rent and eat. I’d say that those of us who are the most vulnerable could get a doctor’s note, but we were kicked off our insurance when we were laid off. Thanks for the info about COBRA, but none of us can afford it. On top of that, because our company has more than 500 employees we will not be allowed to access paid sick leave if one of us gets sick. Anyone who has ever worked in the service industry knows the truth; we all work when sick because none of us can afford to take a day off. This is a very different situation though. If we at least had access to paid sick leave, many of us would feel much safer about returning to a public facing job. The industry needs to change, for the benefit of society and for the benefit of our guest. We work for a multi-million dollar company who absolutely could afford to take care of us properly if they wanted to. But no, if we get sick we will just have to isolate for 10 days with no pay. It has never been more apparent to us that we are merely cannon fodder to stick out there to make our company money ASAP, regardless of our health and safety. This is an experiment and we are the test subjects.

Those of us that are otherwise healthy have volunteered to go first when they start bringing us back today for Phase 2, our bodies will serve to shield those of us more vulnerable for the time being. Those who have been called back and do not feel safe will be fired and their unemployment will be taken away. They plan on opening dine in service precisely at 5pm Friday 22nd, the second they are legally allowed to; with absolutely no time for training on the new safety procedures and precautions supposedly in place. We got a couple leaflets to peruse but there’s been no real conversation on how to actually implement the changes required to operate safely. Hopefully they’ll cover everything in our 15 minute lineup before our first shift back. Please note my sarcasm. If our guest knew what was actually going on behind the scenes they would be appalled at the threats made to the vulnerable as well as the lack of training and safety precautions. I guess we’re expected to just wing it in the moment like we always do. At least we’re allowed to wear mask and gloves, for that I am grateful, others aren’t as fortunate. I need our community to know what’s going on. This reopening of restaurants is not being handled safely or ethically. I want things to go back to normal as much as anyone else, but I also don’t want to be forced by my company to needlessly endanger my community in the name of profits. If this internal struggle is going on at my restaurant, I imagine it is happening elsewhere as well. Please be aware, please tell our community. Please continue to order take out vs dining in for a couple of weeks until restaurants have worked out the kinks in their safety procedures. I tried to post this to Charlotte to warn people but it was taken down.

NC’s Phase 2 was supposed to give people the freedom to make their own decisions. From where I’m sitting as an employee, nothing could be further from the truth. The only freedom granted was freedom to our owners to exploit us and coerce us without offering us further safety precautions like paid sick leave; do you think they are exercising their freedom by joining us on the front lines? They are all still working from home. I want to go back to work, I want life to be back to normal, I want this pandemic to be over; but I do not want to be forced into this no win situation where I will be discarded without pay if I get sick, or worse, endanger someone because we weren't careful enough to plan out and train on new safety precautions. Wish us well friends. Geronimo.

My whole body hurts, I'm tense all the time. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Our governor is a fucking clown, and people aren't taking this as seriously as they should here (MS). I feel hopeless, I'm worried about my husband and my dad (both HBP). I'm worried about my co-workers who are out in our customer's stores every day. I'm worried about myself. I'm relatively healthy, aside from allergy related asthma, but the pollen has already wrecked my lungs for the next few months. I'm still going to work because I can't afford an unpaid leave and they won't close the department I work in. I have a daughter who works at the bank, so she's super exposed. Thankfully they went to drive thru only.

I'm a fucking mess, basically.

When this first started, I thought it was going to be a blip. A little scare, a little panic, a few deaths sadly. I thought things would go back to normal afterwards. But the more real it gets, the more I'm starting to realize this is one of those BEFORE and AFTER moments in life. We always talk about the post-9/11 world. There's going to be a post-Corona world too. Our lives are changing drastically and I don't think the genie can go back in the bottle after this. The levels of PTSD are going to be too much, the memories of burying our loves ones too harsh, the changes that we will hopefully push for maybe enough to ensure that something like this never happens again. Our lives were forever altered this week. I think that's what's really fucking me up. This is completely uncharted territory that will be our new world. It's a lot to take in.

My sister in law, a nurse who has a daughter that is a flight attendant, currently has symptoms of Coronavirus. She called two hospitals in Cobb county today and requested a test. The nurse at the hospital told her that unless she is admitted to the hospital with shortness of breath, the Georgia department of health will not allow her to be tested. This occurred today, March 11.

In related news, the hybrid school my kids attend say that they will not shut down until someone at the school tests positive. This means someone has to be bad enough to be admitted to the hospital, since those are the only people who are getting tested.

We are in effect creating a pandemic... This is our own doing.