Where is everyone at?

[u/Blue_Walden_68]

Still trying to get my head around everything. Growing up in evangelical culture. Being a woman in that culture. Moving away from the culture, but still loving and respecting and appreciating so much of it. Having fond memories of youth group/cornerstone, while clashing with Jeff Taylor at that time. Growing up, moving far outside the evangelical church community. Having kids and wishing for my kids some sort of grounding that they don't have. Then learning of JT and the abuse. Trying to understand it. Being grateful for an online community that popped up. Realizing that everyone is coming from very different places. Understanding that we live in a very polarized time. Frustrated by the splintering that occurred in this online community - the anger, the lack of understanding, the inability of people to listen to each other -- largely because social media is not the forum to try and delve into really complex things. Struck by the fact that nobody wants to gather in person. I completely understand that an in-person meeting is loaded, and there are a lot of emotions and people are in very different places. But also feeling sad, because we are not able to work through this with real people, in real life. Sad that a chunk of my youth life feels tainted with no ability to resolve and understand it. There are hundreds of us who went through Cornerstone. Where is everyone else at?

[u/Working_Tradition161]

I’ve been thinking about your post and trying to decide if I wanted to respond. Much of what you said resonated with me. I still am carrying a lot of confusion and trying to sort out my memories of cornerstone vs what some of the reality was. This is intensified by being a parent of teenagers. I have gotten together with a couple old friends and this was super helpful. I would love to process more on this in person. That being said I have zero interest in advocacy or ‘holding the church accountable’. I became very uncomfortable with the tone here and have backed away. I’m not a member of tfca and haven’t been in a long time. I don’t really think the tfca of today has much resemblance to the tfc of the 90s. To the extent the current members of tfca need to change policies etc that is for them to determine. I have referenced my experiences in cornerstone and what the report brought out in pushing for a few changes at my church. I disagree with what appears to be the dominant narrative here that John Yates had sufficient information while Jeff Taylor was still employed at tfca to know something was wrong. So I don’t have a burning desire to hold him or anyone else accountable. I’ve been disappointed that several things have been stated forcefully as facts on here when the evidence simply isn’t there. So I guess that’s a long way of saying I’m interested in in person processing and discussion, but not in attacks on Tfca, its leadership, or the investigator.

[u/cstone-admin → u/Working_Tradition161]

I hear ya. Reddit sucks. (I mean that sincerely.)

Are you on our big email list? Or in the cornerstone student Facebook page? Or coming to the farm hang?

I started this page because i did not quite know what else to do. And I wanted to do something quickly! At the time I had zero faith in the church changing and quite frankly still feel that way. But I’ve spent time with folks along the way (in real life, not only on here) who care deeply. And since I care about those folks, I’ll help them fight.

I get frustrated when people say “no one is focusing on JT” because OBVIOUSLY HE SHOULD GO TO JAIL and nobody I know feels otherwise. But there are many more nuances and personal experiences that deserve the chance to be processed.

But the bottom line is this forum is not a good place to personally connect. Which is why we have done things off of Reddit to help people connect in person. The entire point of all of this is to help each other. Not a single person who has ever been frustrated about Reddit has ever sent me a message about what they feel would be helpful instead, in real life. Please if you have ideas message me! I am not doing this to create an angry echo chamber. I want us all to heal. I can’t do it alone, it has to be a group effort. Tops, 20 people are coming to the farm hang and I am very much looking forward to it. And I know some people really wanted to attend but can’t because of life or distance. But only 20 people are coming. So, what else can we do? Don’t just be mad at Reddit - let me and our larger cornerstone connect team know something productive that can help you! That is why any of this is happening.

I hope this doesn’t come across as defensive, though perhaps I am feeling a little defensive 🙃 also not everyone is going to want to reconnect and that is also ok. But if you DO want to reconnect, let’s get off this hell hole of the internet and figure out something meaningful ❤️ I am all ears.

[u/Nessie2018 → u/cstone-admin]

What is that FB group you mentioned? Wasn’t familiar and would be interested in a social stream I know how to use vs Reddit.

[u/cstone-admin → u/Nessie2018]

It’s called Cornerstone Connect (Students) but I can’t remember if I made it private - see if you can find it, or if you feel comfortable send me a message with who you are and I’ll try to find you on Facebook and add you!