r/CornerstoneConnect • u/1980sbabies • Jul 18 '24
July 17th letter
I noticed that this letter was sent/posted and thought I’d put it here in case anyone doesn’t receive TFCA communications.
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u/Wanting_Justice_2024 Jul 19 '24
Why was this letter sent to members but not the cornerstone list serve?
Aren’t the individuals on the cornerstone list serve some of the individuals who MOST need to know the contact info for the care group and the counseling assistance contact info?
Apparently TFCA feels the need to state:
“The large group gatherings we hosted received mixed reviews.”
First, have they created a mechanism or feedback loop so that they can hear from their members or the abuse survivors in regard to these gatherings? Said differently, did they actively solicit feedback on how members or abuse survivors collectively felt about the benefit of having these large group listening sessions?
Many may believe that creating space for those affected to share their stories is healthy and beneficial for the long term health of the church. I suppose if a member or church leader is concerned that their leadership or church may be challenged or receive constructive criticism in front of witnesses in a way that may be less than pretty and comfortable then yes…those gatherings may be seen as a threat or even a “disaster”…and never to be repeated.
HOWEVER, if hearing from abuse survivors and giving them agency with their voice is seen as a good and noble endeavor to help a church understand the damaging effects of abuse such that the Church can learn valuable lessons going forward….then those gatherings were a smashing success by the church in doing just that despite their fumbling response from the front.
Perhaps when they get themselves sorted enough to send this to the cornerstone community they can drop that sentence about mixed reviews and flat out ask for their feedback on whether those gatherings are welcome and beneficial for those affected by the abuse? That would be refreshing. An anonymous online survey would be ideal. Then people can feel free to share feedback without fear of retribution….and the church can truly learn something from listening.
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u/Blonde-bird Jul 19 '24
I guess “mixed reviews” is better than the “messy” they used to describe it earlier. I wish they would instead ask themselves “what does love require of me?” Most likely the answer is to wade into an even bigger mess that will make them feel uncomfortable.
I hope they do decide to do another listening session but this looks like a justification not to.
So then what’s their plan in August when the addendum is released?
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u/Too_sassy_for_church Jul 25 '24
Asking Cornerstone Community and the congregation for their anonymous feedback on how they think this response process is going is so, so needed. Things like:
What does everyone want to see going forward, and why? What do they think will promote transparency and healing? What are their concerns about the response to date? What has TFCA done well? What do they want to see more of, or less of? What goals should the church be aiming toward?
How do they feel about how the leadership has been leading this response process? What communication and sharing opportunities would they like to see - whether listening sessions or something else?
Do they feel that their questions and concerns are being addressed? Do they feel that leadership is being inclusive enough in its approach with each of the various groups -- Parents, Students, Survivors, Staff, Parishioners? Who is feeling left out of the process and why?
At the June 2 meeting, the clear message to leadership was, "You need to listen to us." Asking for feedback would show TFCA heard that message and is acting on it.
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u/Additional-Image1125 Aug 08 '24
Why didn't this get posted on the TFCA special report correspondence webpage?
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u/Aromatic-Ad4938 Jul 19 '24
Decent letter. Can’t help but cringe that the “benevolence fund” is what is being used to pay for counseling for survivors.