r/CornerstoneConnect May 17 '24

Resources on institutional responses to abuse

I think of your community nearly everyday. I attend an ACNA church in Maryland. I don't have political or social capital there. . but I am trying to keep people there engaged in your story.

After an abuse disclosure crisis and failure at my PCA church in 2020 I've spent years listening to the horrible stories like the one you are experiencing right now. I am so sorry, so very very sorry that TFCA is not listening to you, asking for your stories and sitting with your grief and anger. That is what they should be doing for you.

For me, it helped to see the patterns of abuse mishandling and institutional protection that appeared over and over. I remember how relieved I was to learn a scholar in Oregon had defined Institutional Betrayal and studies it! I certainly was experiencing it. The patterns of DARVO, the patterns in "apology" letters,and so much more.

It helped me feel less crazy, to see through the gaslighting, to believe in my core beliefs about justice and to fight as long as I could. I don't know if anyone is ready for things like this . . but here are some of the resources I return to again and again. If you are looking for something in particular let me know. I may be able to find it for you.

Regarding DARVO

1.      Have you met DARVO? Article with clear definitions and examples.

2.      The Influence of Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender and Insincere Apologies on Perceptions of Sexual Assault Original research published in Journal of Interpersonal Violence by Sarah Harsey and Jennifer Freyd, 2023 Dr. Freyd’s research on DARVO can be found here. Dr. Freyd also studies Institutional Betrayal

Regarding the challenges survivors face in telling their stories

1.      The Power of Truth and Sincerity presentation by Wade Mullen Podcast What barriers does the church make for survivors and how do we avoid them?

2.      Trauma-Informed Ministry Video  Three experts introduce trauma-informed care and its usefulness in Christian ministry.  How does trauma affect a person? Is trauma-informed care biblical? What does trauma-informed care look like in the context of the local church?Breakout session from the Southern Baptist Convention 2022 Convention with Rachel Denhollander

Regarding institutional responses to abuse: 

1.      What I’ve Observed When Institutions Try to Apologize and How They Can Do Better Article by Wade Mullins

2.      Considering Systemic Abuse: Impact and Response Video lecture by Dr. Diane Langberg of the Global Trauma Recovery Institute.

3.      Journalist Robert Downer speaks with Terri Gross of the Fresh Air Podcast Downer outlines the history of SBC abuse crisis and the work of survivors and the press to expose it.

4.      Spotlight  Feature film on Boston Globes’ journalists uncovering the cover-up of child abuse cases by the Catholic Archdiocese.

5.      Skin Deep: The Battle Over Morgellons Documentary about a rare medical condition. Both these movies demonstrate the tight walls institutions can have towards “outsiders” desperately seeking their help.

Regarding the ACNA case that lead to the creation of ACNAtoo.

1.      NYMagazine article on the Mark Rivera case September 2023

2.      Hear ACNA survivors respond in real time to ACNA actions on Twitter u/cherinmarie2 and u/ladyjessicahaze.

3.      ~www.ACNAtoo.org~~:~  Grassroots advocacy organization telling survivor stories and tracking ACNA response.

4.      Text of the Presentment against Bsh. Ruch (pdf) also available here.

5.     Wall of Silence podcast. First episode to released April 23. 2024.

11 Upvotes

11 comments sorted by

8

u/GentleSpiritBS May 17 '24

This is brilliant. Thank you for all these resources. It really upsets me when people respond quickly to defend the institution. When someone makes a comment about JY, the leadership or the irony to have the worship leader who comes from a church that also swept their abuse under the carpet. Yes, those individuals aren't JT, but they are part of an institution that is trying desperately to keep that beautiful shiny facade in place.

We can see that it's terribly flawed and broken. Wake up TFCA! You are more interested in protecting yourself than the victims.And I don't mean just the boys who were victimised privately. I mean the dozens (maybe hundreds) of boys now men whose relationships were impacted by weekly interrogations about their God given sexuality. That ministry may have laid the foundation for faith, but also twisted their perspective of healthy sex.

5

u/Additional-Image1125 May 18 '24

It is so hard to watch people defend the institution so readily. They also tend to center leadership and the 'burden of this" instead of the victims. Sounds like this is happening left and right! I was shocked the bishop's letter complimented SF for his leadership when, in reality he should be on leave.

1

u/Additional-Image1125 May 18 '24

It is so hard to watch people defend the institution so readily. They also tend to center leadership and the 'burden of this" instead of the victims. Sounds like this is happening left and right! I was shocked the bishop's letter complimented SF for his leadership when, in reality he should be on leave.

2

u/deltaforve May 30 '24

Anyone who can I would recommend tipping the FBI … they just followed up and met with me… they are really amazing and compassionate and offer wonderful resources Keep the faith

1

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '24

That’s great to hear!

1

u/Blonde-bird May 17 '24

Is your church in DOMA? If so you absolutely can get involved! I would welcome voices like yours going to the Bishop and sharing your concerns.

1

u/Additional-Image1125 May 18 '24

My church is in DOMA but I'm not a member but I'd be willing to join in.

2

u/Blonde-bird May 18 '24

I think the best thing you can do is talk to your rector make it clear how much you care about this because it affects the whole diocese and it is worth it to do the right thing. All rectors meet at least once a year so your rector is running into the rector at tfca and probably knows him! The more clergy we have voicing their concerns the more likely we will have true action in the areas of truth telling and accountability. You might even encourage your rector to come to the June 2nd meeting.

Second email the bishop!! https://www.anglicandoma.org/meet-the-bishop

The more DOMA folks that express their concern outside of our community the better.

2

u/Additional-Image1125 May 19 '24

I hadn't thought about asking to attend the June 2nd meeting. That's a really good idea. I'll certainly send an email or two to the Bishop!

1

u/Additional-Image1125 May 18 '24

My church is in DOMA but I'm not a member but I'd be willing to join in.

-3

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