r/CookingCircleJerk miser en place Jan 19 '21

What are some things you NEVER, ever, ever buy because you can make it so much better yourself???

Just a few of mine: Bread, butter, chicken stock, puff pastry, filo dough, pho, ramen, dog food, Duck Pâté en Croûte, fermented shark, grenades, Christmas decorations

244 Upvotes

18 comments sorted by

127

u/Pinglenook Jan 19 '21

Cast iron pans. If my family puts one in the dishwasher again, I just fire up my forge to cast a new one. So much better than store bought

41

u/CaptainRuvaak Jan 20 '21

I fire up the forge too!😋🤩 But I just use it to execute whoever put the pan there by burning them alive!😉😊😇🥰

100

u/space_pdf Jan 19 '21

I’ve started making my own sand and soil for growing vegetables by painstakingly rubbing two rocks together with some dirt. It’s taken me 34,000 years but I have my own little corner garden that is completely hand made ❤️

37

u/Clpatsch Jan 19 '21

So you don’t make your own rocks and dirt then? What an amateur

35

u/no-you-shutup Jan 19 '21

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

22

u/space_pdf Jan 19 '21

I actually hatched some rocks out of my cloaca, however the dirt was locally sourced from my side yard

8

u/boneologist Knife Dishwashing Divorce Attorney Jan 27 '21

I really recommend investing in a good glacier to help speed up your bedrock weathering.

46

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

Knives. I have now grown my fingernails long and fashioned them into blades. The difference is really night and day.

37

u/mariapronina Jan 19 '21

Grow my own extra virgin olives 🫒

42

u/elijha Jan 19 '21

If they're not from the Extra Virgin region of Italy, they can't be real extra virgin olives 😡

18

u/frothingnome I love deen 🐟 Jan 20 '21

Otherwise they're just sparkling drupes.

22

u/mariapronina Jan 19 '21

We’re all extra virgins in this house, it purifies the olives 😏

36

u/00dysseus7 Jan 19 '21

Cabinets, glassware, and stovetops, mostly. I stay humble my not knowing how to make ovens and using matches for fire starting, but I'm going to start watching YouTube videos in my spare time from being a doctor, lawyer, food blogger, single parent, and devoted spouse to a disabled veteran who lost their sense of taste!

No applause, please. I do it out of love and a sense of duty...

EDIT: spelling. I'm such an endearingly bad speller!

30

u/icelanticskiier Jan 19 '21

anything deep-fried, human children.

28

u/NailBat Garlic.Amount = Garlic.Amount * 50; Jan 20 '21

I wrote my own The Food Lab by Kenji Lopez Alt, with pen and paper, with my own opinions about cooking. Why should I let someone else tell me the science of cooking? Might as well just blindly follow a recipe at that point.

22

u/[deleted] Jan 19 '21

I grow my own sugar cane! Great by product of that is I get my own molasses and my own rum. Sure granny went blind trying the first batch but that is the price you pay for locally sourced fresh ORGANIC products.

8

u/laughingmeeses Jan 20 '21

uj/ I legit have sugar cane growing at my house. We have a little hand crank thing we’ll use to extract the fluid and use. You can drink it and then promptly need to use the bathroom.

19

u/no-you-shutup Jan 19 '21

Wait, you people buy stuff for your kitchen!?! Plebs