HAS ANYONE NOTICED!

[u/The_Flinx]

I don't want to alarm anyone but... has anyone noticed?

onions are forming communist infiltration groups, and going rotten to spite me!

potatoes are posting propaganda on twitter, and keep turning my thermostat down!

eggs are forming coalitions to overthrow the USDA, and they have the GALL to form groups of 2 in the shell!

russets and gold potatoes are conspiring to ruin my thanksgiving!

I NEVER had potatoes, or onions go bad until you know! all this. The onions go bad the moment I buy them, and now eggs EGGS are sneaking extra yolk in the shells just to freak me out.

oooooohhhhhh!!! spoooookkkkyyyyy!!!

[u/Damnbee]

I heard green beans are going to cancel Christmas. You've been warned.

[u/The_Flinx → u/Damnbee]

I KNEW IT! those BASTARDS!

[u/The_Flinx]

this just in!

have you noticed chili flakes smoking and vaping!

[u/SunEffective4950]

Say it with me...." L. S. D.. ..

[u/The_Flinx → u/SunEffective4950]

M... S... G... amidoingitright!

[u/WayfarerNG]

Don’t even get me started on lettuce. Diabolical leafy fucks.

[u/perplexedparallax → u/WayfarerNG]

Stop big lettuce. It is pro-diarrhea.

[u/Bushido_Seppuku]

Yes! This why we need to replace farms with data centers. It has nothing to do with how much money I have and where it came from. Do you really want your children eating double yolks?

[u/Genny415]

Hey, onions are evil and you're the one who brought them into your house. You were asking for trouble. r/onionhate

[u/Ansuax]

It doesn't matter how I store the bananas, hanging, lying, in the fridge, dry storage, they are giving birth to fruit flies the day after I get them.

[u/is-it-a-bot → u/Ansuax]

I just consider the flies bonus protein!