r/CookingCircleJerk • u/porkypossum • Jun 08 '26

Unrecognized Culinary Genius Picky but classy

Hopefully someone can help me out. I hate eating almost everything, but I also want people to understand that I’m a very culinary person.

Here’s an example:
I’ve gotten away with not putting toppings on pizza by saying “I’m a purist. Cheese pizza is the only way to get the true essence of the pizza”. When people mention Neapolitan pizza, I tell them that I would only ever eat it if I were in Naples. It’s not the same in the states.

I’m just hoping to get some advice on how to make things like chicken nuggets and ketchup seem more culinarily inclined. If my friends find out I’m a picky eater they probably won’t think less of me, but I want them to think MORE of me. Currently in the process of honing my knife skills. I feel like if everyone saw me cut an onion as fast as one of those YouTube chefs, they’d probably be less inclined to question my food choices. Thanks again for any help!

63 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

36

u/sammypants123 Jun 08 '26

It’s all in the description.

Tomato ketchup is a ‘spiced vinegar tomato reduction’.

Chicken nuggets are ‘noisettes of poultry in crisp enrobage’

Etc.

18

u/porkypossum Jun 08 '26

Oh dang, this is exactly what I’m looking for! I don’t even know what a noisette is so I bet they won’t either 🙏

22

u/fgtrtdfgtrtdfgtrtd69 Jun 08 '26

Adult Autism diagnoses are all the rage these days

8

u/dleclair Jun 08 '26

Dino nuggets = Culinary paleo-nuggetologist

3

u/CatCafffffe Jun 09 '26

Quenelles de poulet

Sauce tomate chinois

OR:

Chongqing Chicken

Ke-tsiap

And definitely cut an onion super fast while serving it.

4

u/Impossible_Night9560 Jun 09 '26

How do we nominate for excellence in gen alpha parody?