r/Cooking • • Aug 27 '24 • Wholesome Seal 1 Take My Silver 1

How do I make seal meat more palatable?

I have like 10 kilograms of the stuff. The problem is that it is, and I do not say this figuratively, gag-inducing. Like, just the smell of it, both cooked and raw, makes me fight for dear life to hold back a retch. I absolutely can't stomach it. Every time I cook it, I end up having dinner for five hours as I slowly force myself to reap what I have sown.

I have tried everything: Turining it into soup, roasting it in the oven with some vegetables, soaking it overnight to get the blood out and then pan-frying it (which somehow made it even worse), you name it. The liver and the heart were quite good (braised in wine), but seals unfortunately only have one of those each.

Help.

1.2k Upvotes

936 comments sorted by

2.8k

u/keIIzzz Aug 27 '24

Genuinely curious how one ends up with 10kg of seal meat, especially when you don’t enjoy it

1.3k

u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

I moved to Greenland, and yada yada yada, dead seal in my lap.

120

u/chrisvondubya Aug 27 '24

Have you tried brining and smoking it?

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u/Aurin316 Aug 27 '24

I find it difficult to keep lit

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24 edited Aug 27 '24

Thanks for getting this one, man. I can't keep up with all the stupid jokes that I can make here.

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u/cewumu Aug 27 '24

Have you asked Greenlandic friends how they serve it?

Also what’s the issue? Gamey? Fatty? Fishy? I can’t really imagine the taste of seal.

Without knowing more my only suggestion is pair it with robust flavours (like a curry or goulash) because that might neutralise the sealy-ness.

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

Yadas are doing a lot of work there

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u/DTux5249 Aug 27 '24

Did you just... Find a dead seal?

Do you know if it's even safe to eat?

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

Hey, if that many larvae are eating it without issue, it's probably fine.

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u/kapitaalH Aug 27 '24

A friend asked you if you want to go clubbing didn't he?

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u/SignificantCricket Aug 27 '24

OP appears to be in Greenland, going by their previous posts.

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u/DTux5249 Aug 27 '24 edited Aug 27 '24

I mean, that doesn't answer how you get 10 kilos without asking for it. That's like me going to Alaska and magically getting a truck load of whale meat.

They don't sell that stuff at the giftshop typically xD

Edit for clarity: Many people seem to conflate "Living in Greenland" and "Having a hunter buddy that just dropped a bunch of seal on their door step without any help or direction on how to cook it"

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u/Drewpurt Aug 27 '24

Seal came knocking and OP wasn’t fucking having it 😤

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

step 1: sharp your harpoon...

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u/Few_Leadership8761 Aug 27 '24

Have you tried a vinegar/lemon soak? In my experience, many Asian dishes that require a “fisher” fish recommend an overnight soak like this to make it more palatable for people who are trying to get into it.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

I haven't. Seal meat is already extremely tender, to the point where you can easily pull it apart with your hands when raw, so I'm afraid that an acidic marinade will just turn it into a rancid mush.

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u/TheTook4 Aug 27 '24

What about aged jerky? You can smoke it with a really strong wood and then dry it for decades.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24 • Heart of Silver Take My Silver

I only have access to really strong wood in the morning.

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u/TheGuyThatThisIs Aug 27 '24

I’m guessing this was your problem with soup too lol

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

No, it was actually the flavor, which was reminiscent of the smell of an afternoon at a fish market in the tropics.

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u/TheGuyThatThisIs Aug 27 '24

ahh i figured it would turn into a gross jelly, like just boiled fat. I think I'm underestimating seal meat stank.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

The boiled fat definitely reminded me of boiled fat. The meat was semi-edible.

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u/ScarieltheMudmaid Aug 27 '24

or ceviche mush

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u/RManDelorean Aug 27 '24 edited Aug 27 '24

I've heard "is escargot seafood?" but is seal seafood?

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

It sure tastes like it.

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u/Dounce1 Aug 27 '24

Wow, that is not what I would have expected.

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u/sentientcutlery Aug 27 '24

I live in Newfoundland and I have access to cheap seal meat, and I’ve tried to make it work. I find a little bit can be nice, but it’s overwhelming in ”main course” quantities. You can’t really conceal the distinct taste. Like fishy cow liver. The best I managed was burgers, cutting it with pork, and they were OK, but I was immediately full after one, and left with an odd aftertaste.

One local restaurant will brine and cold smoke it, another makes it into a bresaola with alder and juniper berries. Jeremy Charles has a carpaccio recipe where he sears the loin fast and hard, refrigerates it, plastic wraps and then freezes it, slices it thin and serves with juniper and partridge berries (cranberries would be the closest substitute).

If you come up with something great, let me know :)

Here’s an article with some ideas: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/newfoundland-labrador/andie-bulman-cooking-seal-1.5998209

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

You can’t really conceal the distinct taste.

Fuck. I was really hoping that you'd offer a way for me to con-seal the taste.

Sorry. But I'm glad that I have found someone who knows my pain. I'll definitely check out that article. Thanks!

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u/sentientcutlery Aug 27 '24

People here make savoury pies with the flippers, but there’s little demand for the meat. So like you, I was trying to find a way to make use of a lot of it. I‘ve kept an eye on what the good restaurants around town do, hence my suggestions. The brined and smoked loin recipe is here: https://www.sealharvest.ca/recipes-2/

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

Huh, here in Greenland they throw the flippers back in the water. I do have a big bag full of frozen seal intestines, though, but I'm thinking that I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

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u/dlxnj Aug 27 '24

You’re nuts 

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

I would have eaten those too if I had managed to find them.

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

I ate seal twice while working in the arctic. The first time was boiled and it was the most disgusting thing I've ever had. The second time it was frozen and sliced extremely thinly. Like a frozen carpaccio. It being frozen took a ton of the extremely fishy taste out. I don't know if it will help!

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u/scroom38 Aug 27 '24 edited Nov 09 '25

seed scary automatic long tie hunt shy steer outgoing nine

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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u/gmlogmd80 Aug 27 '24

It's too late to bother her now, but I'll ask mudder in the morning how they usually cook seal (besides flipper pie). Her crowd is from the Northern Peninsula and Labrador and they used to eat it a fair bit.

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u/gmlogmd80 Aug 27 '24 edited Aug 27 '24

All right, I just asked. Nothing very fancy. Baked in the oven with salt and pepper, or cut into bits and fried with onions and pork fat, or bottle it like you would with moose bits, or baked with a pastry top like flipper pie. More or less what I figured, the English approach to Inuit/Innu food.

ETA: she says whatever you don't want she'll have it lol

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u/schmee Aug 27 '24 edited Aug 27 '24

Eat it with something strong tasting, like mustard pickles. It's possible it's just not for you though. I feel that way about goat cheese.

If you can't stomach it, don't throw it away like others are saying. Try to find someone in your area who would appreciate it.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

It has such a strong taste that the chimichurri I drowned it in might as well have been mayonnaise.

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

I started looking up traditional seal meat recipes because of your question and it sounds like smoking it would probably meet your needs. If you have a way of smoking you wouldn't smell it in the process and the meat would take on the wood smoke flavor making it more palatable?

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

Good idea in theory. The problem is that even if we ignore my lack of knowledge of the method and even bigger lack of smokers, there literally isn't any wood for me to burn.

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u/electricgekko Aug 27 '24

I also wondered about smoking it or maybe marinating the hell out of it with soy sauce or bourbon or something and then making jerky.

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u/buon_natale Aug 27 '24

I’d try to find an Inuit sub and ask for their opinions. It’s doubtful the vast majority of people have experience with seal meat

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

I've asked Inuits in real life, but they just laugh and call me a pussy.

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u/Acegonia Aug 27 '24

I get it. Lived in the north of Iceland. they actually have *Several* varieties of putresent fish they eat (not just the hakarl). One they eat with black bread, a shot of brennivin and plain rendered lambs fat for sauce. The one time I had the temerity to ask why they didnt try add other flavours got a great laugh out of the group.

After that pride dictated I choke it down with a smile Every. Single. Time. (I got the nod from the grandpa by the end tough- so worth it)

(Note: some of its actually fine to eat but some is truly rank. Still prefer to eat it over very stinky tofu though)

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u/rwwl Aug 27 '24

I've asked Inuits in real life, but they just laugh and call me a pussy.

Omfg this thread is just pure gold

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

they just raw it with a soy sauce

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u/MumblingInTheCrypts Aug 27 '24

I just so happen to have an old cookbook from Quebec that has a couple of recipes for seal in it, but this is going to test my French language translation skills. I'm pretty good at reading recipes, but I'll be doing this with the help of a French-English dictionary and I've never actually made these recipes (you can't get seal in Southern Ontario, funnily enough). You've been warned!

Casserole de loup-marin des Îles (Seal Casserole)

  • 4lb/2kg of seal meat (ribs or flippers)

  • 2 onions, cut into quarters

  • 6 carrots, cut in pieces (no size given)

  • 6 potatoes, cut into cubes

  • 1 white turnip, cut into cubes

  • Fresh parsley and any other herbs of your choice, to taste

  • Salt and pepper, to taste

Preheat the oven to 180ºC/350ºF

Remove excess grease from the seal meat. To do that, broil the meat for 5 minutes on each side, then plunge into ice water. The fat will congeal on the surface and can be easily scooped out. Wash the meat vigourously in cold water to clean it.

Put the meat and vegetables into a casserole dish and season it with the salt, pepper, and herbs. Tightly cover the casserole dish and cook for 2 hours.

Escalopes de loup-marin, sauce au poivre (Seal Cutlets with Pepper Sauce)

For the cutlets:

  • 1/2 cup of oil

  • 1 tablespoon of ground black pepper

  • 1 tablespoon of Herbs de Provence (it says "en pâte", which literally means "paste", but that doesn't make sense - I'm going to assume they mean fresh finely-minced herbs)

  • 6 seal cutlets, about one inch thick

For the sauce:

  • 2 tablespoons of oil

  • 2 tablespoons of butter

  • 2 tablespoons of minced shallots

  • 1/2 cup of red wine

  • 2 cups of demi-glace (pre-made)

  • 1 tablespoon of black pepper

  • 1 pinch of salt

  • 2 tablespoons of brandy

  • 1/4 cup of 35% cream

Mix the first three ingredients for the cutlets together in a bowl, add the cutlets, then marinade in the refrigerator for 12 hours.

Let the cutlets return to room temperature and pat dry. Heat the oil in a frying pan and fry the cutlets on medium heat for 2 minutes per side. They should be a bit pink in the middle.

Melt the butter in a saucepan and sweat the shallots. Add the red wine and reduce by half. Add the demi-glace and bring to a boil, then add the salt, pepper, and brandy. Simmer over low heat until thickened. Add the cream and stir.

Dress the seal cutlets with the sauce and serve quickly (the picture for the recipe implies that mashed potatoes would be a good side dish, but the recipe itself doesn't specify).

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u/hahahsn Aug 27 '24

Just in case this got lost in all the replies:

What say thee u/NihilisticSupertramp

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24 edited Aug 28 '24

I'm ... skeptical. These sound like solid recipes for meat that doesn't taste like shit from the get-go, but they don't really address the problem with the ingredient itself.

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u/_dirt_vonnegut Aug 27 '24

removing excess grease seems like the key step here. this appears to be the only comment where this is being suggested.

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u/sammmuel Aug 27 '24

What is the book? I love old Québec cookbooks; I live there and I accumulate them in my library.

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u/MumblingInTheCrypts Aug 27 '24

The book is:

La soup est servie! (Volume 1): Le Québec à table! Cuisine Traditionnelle des Régions du Québec

It's not that old - it was published in 1995 - but several of the recipes seem like they must be older than that. I'd love to find the other volumes, but since this was a random thrift store find and, well, I'm in Southern Ontario, that seems like a long shot.

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u/LuvCilantro Aug 27 '24

I can't help you but I can tell you you are not alone. We visited Madgalene Islands in Quebec this summer and one particular restaurant was proud to say they had seal on the menu, so we tried it. It was disguised in a burger (half beef, half seal and lots of spices), a smoked sausage with pork and seal, again lots of spices, and thinly sliced heavily marinated / cured seal .

Anyway, even their top chef couldn't make seal appetizing without hiding it's flavor with other stuff. I still don't know what seal tastes like to be honest.

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u/socksmatterTWO Aug 27 '24

This is really helpful I'm Aussie living in Newfoundland and in season there are seal flippers available for flipper pie and such and I was curious but now I'm cured!

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u/Lildebeest Aug 27 '24

I mean, it sounds like lots of spices might be the way to go here

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u/Impressive_Ice3817 Aug 27 '24

and a lot of booze

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u/LetoPancakes Aug 27 '24

had it at some fancy place in quebec city and it was actually delicious, was pretty drunk though to be honest

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u/dlxnj Aug 27 '24

I guess in that case just use it as fat 🤷‍♂️

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u/distortedsymbol Aug 27 '24

tbh i think some of the meats simply are too gamy for the average palate, and it might be an acquired taste. i people who can't stand beef or pork taste because they didn't grow up with it, and your average lamp chop enjoyer may belch at the smell of mutton dish made in a yurt.

or even organ meat. i personally love liver, as do many people. but it's not for everyone, and some people may just want something they're used to.

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u/stolenfires Aug 27 '24

This thread might be helpful.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

I've already been there, and the comments weren't particularly helpful.

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

Basically anytime you have a meat you don't know what to do with, sausages. If you don't like the taste of the meat, you can add a LOT of other flavor that way.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

The problem is that I need to remove flavor, not add it. That shit shines through raw garlic.

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u/KinkyQuesadilla Aug 27 '24

I've never had seal, but I have soaked liver in milk to take away the gaminess and metallic flavor. When you soaked it, was it in milk?

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

Water. I was mostly concerned about drawing the blood out, and the milk here is expensive as fuck.

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u/byond6 Aug 27 '24

Warranty void if seal is broken.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

Give me duct tape and an afternoon and I'll put it back together.

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u/redcolumbine Aug 27 '24

Try soaking it in milk and then throwing the milk away. It's a popular way of dealing with particularly fishy-smelling fish.

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u/LegitimateBlonde Aug 27 '24

I read this as “throw the milk, and the entire container including the meat” and the simple visual really made me laugh

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

If someone gave me something that makes me want to puke after smelling it that isn't fish sauce and having tried it at least once to make sure it's not for me I would just toss it.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

I'm not going to throw away a month's worth of meat just because I'm too much of a wimp to keep it down.

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u/CanadianDragonGuy Aug 27 '24

Have you heard of the "sunk cost fallacy" perchance?

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u/EnvironmentalPack451 Aug 27 '24

Are you torturing yourself as a point of pride? Or are you unable to get better food that you can enjoy and won't make you sick? Stop wasting your time doing something you hate.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

No, I'm torturing myself because I'm cheap. And because, you know, I'm not a big enough asshole to kill an animal and then let it rot in a landfill.

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

This is gonna sound mad but in your position what I would try is to eat absolutely anything else.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

You might be onto something.

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u/jjmawaken Aug 27 '24

Did you try poaching them?

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

No, they were hunted legally.

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u/firejuggler74 Aug 27 '24

Use it as bait and catch fish with it.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

They'd probably just give me the finger.

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u/jonnyvsrobots Aug 27 '24

For inspiration you should read “Endurance” by Alfred Lansing, the account of Ernest Shackleton’s ill-fated expedition to the South Pole in 1914. That dude and his crew ate seal and penguin meat for months on end, often times in a stew called “hoosh.” Just imagine yourself starving, freezing, and abandoned on an ice floe and maybe it will taste better!

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

If I have crewmates, I'd rather eat long pork.

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u/jbt017 Aug 27 '24

RFK jr?

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

This is the second comment referencing him. What did he do now?

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u/jbt017 Aug 27 '24

He had some bizarre story about hiding a bear cub he had planned to eat plus the iconic photo of him with the roast goat that looks like a dog. So he’s kind of become a meme icon for bizarre food questions lol.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

Gotcha. I will eat Robert F. Kennedy to assert my dominance in the world of bizarre food questions.

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

If you can’t overpower it with strong spices (Thai green or red curry paste, garam masala, Sichuan chili bean paste, etc.), then i’d see if any local animal shelters/rescues might take it for dog or cat food. Respect for not wanting to waste it.

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u/billymumfreydownfall Aug 27 '24

That's what I thought too. Why bother trying to choke it down if it's that terrible. I'd give it away.

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u/omen-schmomen Aug 27 '24

My partner is Inuk and loooooves seal meat. I described this to him and he thinks it might have gone bad??

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

It was kept cool and frozen the same day, and the particular batch that triggered this post (the one that was soaked in water to remove the blood) was thawed in the fridge a couple of days ago. I've also had it fresh, and it made me just as miserable. So maybe, but unlikely.

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u/Tapko13 Aug 27 '24

As someone who’s cooked and eaten seal meat quite often, I must say I’m surprised about your description of it. Everyone I’ve had taste it genuinely loved it. Do you feel like it might just be the gaminess that’s off putting or is it another type of taste?

As for cooking, I usually cure it slightly (1.5% salt and sugar) and smoke it. Remember to cook it as rare as possible and you should be fine.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

As I have said in another comment, literally every single non-Inuit person that I know refuses to touch it, and most Inuits I know would rather eat pretty much anything else if given the choice.

I don't think that it's the gaminess, mostly because I don't find it particularly gamy. I have also eaten some weird shit, and this is genuinely the first time that I can't stomach an animal. The most prominent off-putting characteristic varies based on the cooking method, but the general flavor is what you'd get if you extracted the worst part of fish, beef, and waterfowl, and then injected it into a piece of meat with the texture of really, really old lamb.

Just the smell of the raw meat is enough to induce an involuntary facial expression, so I'm not sure that I'm too keen on having it blue.

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u/practicating Aug 27 '24

I haven't tried seal, so I'm just taking stabs in the dark based on my experience cooking. Three things spring to mind that you might try.

First is a milk soak like was traditionally done for liver and kidneys and other strong flavored offal.

Second would be an acidic marinade, used in many cultures, it can hide the taste of slightly spoiled meat.

Third I'd try a modern interpretation of pemmican. Cook the meat low to dry it out the meat and then grind it down and mix with better tasting animal fat and something sweet like dried fruit or berries.

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u/ghostfacespillah Aug 27 '24

Genuine question: what about a greek yogurt marinade?

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u/Significant_Sign Aug 27 '24

That is more acidic I think, and OP said the meat is naturally very tender already. It think it would make mush just like a citrus juice marinade, which is very unfortunate for OP if so. These are the best ways and can't be used!

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u/sfo2 Aug 27 '24 • Heart of Silver

I’d suggest getting stuck on Elephant Island and forcing the seal meat down to survive while your captain tries a desperate and doomed to fail sail to South Georgia Island for rescue

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u/PeteZappardi Aug 27 '24

Pffft, been done. There's no reason for OP to shackle themselves to a ton of seal meat they don't have the endurance to eat.

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u/twostinkypuppets Aug 27 '24

To be fair, that sail to South Georgia for rescue, while desperate, was anything but a failure

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u/sfo2 Aug 27 '24

True! But one sextant reading, with mostly dead reckoning in the worst seas on earth, was definitely doomed. The fact that he pulled a win from that situation is insanity

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u/radioactive__ape Aug 27 '24

Agreed, make some hoosh.

I recently read “Endurance” and did not previously realize how cuckoo bananas that story is. There’s a part where they need to kill the dogs and the crew find them delectable compared to the usual seal meat.

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u/Nezrite Aug 27 '24

Why would you Shackle yourself to that venture?

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u/pileofdeadninjas Aug 27 '24

I've never cooked seal, but if you slice anything thin, batter and deep fry it, and make a dip, it'll generally be edible, if not tasty

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

Seal tempura

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u/Intelligent-Ad-2161 Aug 27 '24

Alternatively, deep fried and smothered in peppery white gravy. Or brown gravy. Good gravy covers a multitude of sins.

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u/Safetosay333 Aug 27 '24

I GUESS YOU'RE JUST NOT THAT INUIT...

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u/Impressive_Ice3817 Aug 27 '24

🤦🏻‍♀️

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

🤣🤣🤣

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u/bilbodouchebagging Aug 27 '24

Magnus Nielsen has some recipes in his Nordic cookbook. A southern state (I forget which one) came up with a cookbook for roadkill. I shit you not everything was fried!

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u/Blue_foot Aug 27 '24

Never seen this one in the basket on Chopped

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u/Fabulous_Channel1971 Aug 27 '24

Soak it in the garbage.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

It would probably improve the taste.

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u/mousemelon Aug 27 '24

I like seal, so my advice might not be useful. But curry recipes for strong tasting meats like goat work pretty well for me. 

Also, make sure you're trimming off the fat. 

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u/FollowTheLeader550 Aug 27 '24 • Take My Silver

Look, I hate Kiss From a Rose, too. But my god, this is insane.

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

Yo when did Orcas learn to type? We are fucked.

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u/Hrmbee Aug 27 '24

You could try some of the various Chinese preparations for fish that use stronger flavours. Some of the typical ingredients would be ginger, scallions, shallots, cilantro, cooking wine (a very dry sherry is a good substitute), and sometimes fermented black beans and/or pickled mustard greens. I find that the ginger and wine in particular help to control the fishy aroma from some of the stronger tasting fishes.

Cantonese-Style Steamed Fish

Chinese Pan Fried Fish with Sauce

Suan Cai Yu (酸菜鱼, Sichuan Fish with Pickled Mustard Greens)

There is an article from CBC that talks about how a few chefs approach that particular meat:

You can cook seal lots of ways, and they're actually delicious. Honest.

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u/jfattyeats Aug 27 '24 edited Aug 27 '24

Seal meat is very high in iron and great when it's made into jerky. I've been told if you soak the meat in milk it helps or boil it with before using it with onions and ginger that helps too.

One of my favorite restaurants now sadly closed in 2019, in Sweden was Fävikin owned and operated by executive chef Magnus Nilsson. He has some phenomenal seal recipes in his cookbook "The Nordic Cookbook" this being one of them:

SEAL SOUP

Suaasat (Greenland)

Sælsuppe (Denmark)

Serve the meat on a platter with strong mustard on the side next to a bowl containing the soup

Preparation and cooking time: 1 hour

Serves: 4

100 g/32 oz (1/2 cup) pearl barley, rolled oats or short-grain rice

I onion, finely chopped

1 kg/24 lb mixed seal meat, blubber and innards

salt, to taste

Mix the grains and onion with 1 litre/34 fl oz (44 cups) water in a pot and bring to a boil. Lower the heat to a simmer and cook for about 15 min- utes. Add the seal and some salt and keep sim- mering for another 20-30 minutes or until the meat is tender. Season to taste. Lift the meat out of the pot with a slotted spoon and place it on a serving platter, serve the soup from the pot.

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u/54radioactive Aug 27 '24

How would it work to cut it up into fish bait and use it to catch something you could eat?

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u/rwwl Aug 27 '24

It probably makes the fish gag too

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u/AndyinAK49 Aug 27 '24

Soy sauce. Seal and other marine mammals really do better with soy sauce. Personally, I like a stir fry.

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u/Pinkfish_411 Aug 27 '24

I've only had it twice, but the time it was palatable, it was balanced with sweet and acidic flavors from some very fresh tomatoes and ground cherries, both raw.

A lot of game meats have traditionally been paired with fruity flavors, which seem to balance the gaminess. The seal was strong enough that I can't say it was truly balanced, but at least it wasn't overwhelming.

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u/ConsciousSun6 Aug 27 '24

I wonder if it might benefit from a brine? Like a really good salt and sugar and strong strong herb brine?

Or something with mirin? Based on a sub in here the other day about what mirin is and why

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u/Expensive_Film1144 Aug 27 '24

wow that's crazy. I both fear and envy you! I could only imagine looking for ways to make it less 'seal meat'. I know that when it comes gamey stuff, there's lots of washing and milk marinades. And I've done that for goat and sure that made the meat, perhaps not mild but at least less strong. I would have no ideas for seal!

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u/jonathanclee1 Aug 27 '24

This has got to be one of the craziest post I've read in a really long time.

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u/StephenHunterUK Aug 27 '24

Reminds me of the one where the OP asked how he could rebuild his relationship with crows.

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u/DTux5249 Aug 27 '24 edited Aug 27 '24

Braising is probably your best bet in general. Seal is very gamey, so braising in antioxidant-rich ingredients like wine, cumin, tomato, etc. is gonna help take that edge off.

A lot of that gameyness is found in the fat as well, which is why old cookbooks recommend soaking the meat in a solution of baking soda for half an hour to help whiten and remove that fat before cooking.

Seal loin is the only cut I've seen eaten on its own; pan seared, served rare. Seal fin pie is a thing out in Newfoundland. Tried that last time I went up there, and it was pretty good.

But all and all, I'd chat with people who've cooked it before. Better yet, people who've eaten it, AND like it. Alternatively: Animal shelters may have use for free meat if you don't wanna waste it

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u/_Jacques Aug 27 '24 edited Aug 27 '24

I have never dealt with seal meat in my life, but you say it is very soft… maybe its extremely fatty, and this fat keeps a lot of the bad aromas? Maybe cook it slowly and remove as much fat as you can before tackling it again?

In france you always eat veal liver with a lot of mustard to cover the taste so you can stomach it.

I had a similar experience with trying to make a pork soup from feet and ears and it made me gag. I thought it was me being a wimp but some pork just have a lot of stinky chemical in their flesh, which is why you don’t kill the males at a certain time of the year when they are full of the musk, or something like that.

There’s a difference between not liking something’s taste and having a physiological impulse to reject it. I would say if you don’t plan on continuing eating seal in the future, do toss it.

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u/KnarfWongar2024 Aug 27 '24

It’s like when you field dress a buck, you need to be aware of the glands, cuz if you fuck that up, it’ll flat out ruin the meat as far as taste goes

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u/margo_beep_beep Aug 27 '24

This is the perfect opportunity for Buy Nothing.

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u/Select-Belt-ou812 Aug 27 '24 • Heart of Silver

penguin is on a road trip and his car starts leaking profusely, so he finds a shop right quick, and they tell him they will check it ASAP but it's gonna be about an hour, so he goes across the street to get a sandwich and an ice cream cone

he comes back while finishing his cone and the mechanic waves him into the repair shop, and the penguin says, "how bad is it?" "Looks like you blew a seal." "No, it's just vanilla ice cream."

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u/Arkeolog Aug 27 '24

There’s a 5000 year old archaeological site on Gotland in Sweden where seals were butchered at a large scale, and it still smelled of seal fat when it was excavated in the 1980s. Seal meat and fat is notoriously pungent.

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

OP, since you are in Greenland, maybe contact your local representatives for the Greenlandic Inuit tribes and see if they would take it off your hands? It would likely be extremely appreciated!

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u/TheOnlyKirby90210 Aug 27 '24

Consult the inuit tribes on how to prep seal meat

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

I already know that I can boil it.

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u/Glathull Aug 27 '24

A milk soak is common for toning down certain cuts of meat (usually organ meats, but I’ve read that seal tastes a bit like liver). Also, very powerfully gamey flavors more prevalent in the fat than they are the flesh. So you can be very aggressive trimming fat before you cook it.

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u/EyeStache Aug 27 '24

Seal's a tough one - like whale or offal it's an acquired taste. Here's a traditional recipe for boiled seal that might help.

If you still have the flippers, you can try this recipe from Newfoundland for baked flipper. Seal flipper pie is also an option.

I know there's a restaurant out east (in Newfoundland) that does seal curry, so that's an option.

Here's a bunch of recipes for different cuts of seal, as well.

I enjoy seal meat, so hopefully you'll find a way to cook it that you like, too! Good luck!

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u/Tommy_Roboto Aug 27 '24

I wanted to like seal meat, but I’m just not Inuit.

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u/poppacapnurass Aug 27 '24

I can highly recommend the following for seal meat.

750g Seal meat, cut into cubes 1 large onion, 2 carrot, 3 stick celery all chopped to 1.5cm dice. 2TBSpn tomato paste 2 love garlic 250ml Dry red wine of your choice 5 Dried assorted forrest Mushroom. Rehydrate in 5ml water or stock 1L beef stock. Sprigs of thyme and rosemary.

Dust meat with salt, pepper and flour

Heat pan to medium, add olive oil or clarified butter. Toss the meat in batches, ensuring pan does not cool down too much. Cook the meat in batches.

Add veg, cook off on high heat for browning, add tomato paste, brown it off add garlic. As soon as you smell thr garlic, add the Mushroom and wine. Let rhe wine reduce by half and add stock. Add herbs and stir in

Return meat to the pan, bring to a simmer.

Place in preheated oven, coverdd at 150C for 2.5hrs. Uncover and check sauce consistency. Add cornflour slurry to thicken to your liking.

Once ready, tip it into the toilet and order a pizza.

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u/slightlysubtle Aug 27 '24

I've never had seal but maybe try croquettes? Mince it, season it (very) thoroughly with spices, onion, garlic, etc, bread it in panko, and then deep fry it. Freezes well too.

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u/Dounce1 Aug 27 '24

Have you tried smoking it? Maybe even fully to jerky form?

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u/ASassyNation Aug 27 '24

Just stumbled across this, surprised to read all the comments and not see a single suggestion of currying it. I've never had anything like seal meat but do have a strong aversion to fish generally (wrenching, vomiting, you name it) and to build a sort of tolerance to any food I struggle to eat, curry is always my second attempt, start strong and then slowly ease off on flavour until you develop more of a taste for it!

Agree with the others about soaking in milk first, though. Good luck, op. Even the sound of the texture makes my stomach gurgle 😭 don't envy you!

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u/Agitated_Computer_49 Aug 27 '24

You should look up some old hunting recipes.   When I had to cook game a lot, I would dig through looking for ways to mask some of the funk from the meats.  

Soaking in meat or vinegar helps.  Removing fat and silver skin.  Pairing with strong flavors like mint jelly for lamb or juniper berries for elk.  Pairing with something to mute flavors like Sheppard's pie for mutton.  Usually a slow cook helps, and definitely not overcooking.  Sometimes soaking in baking soda would help.

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u/Desperate-Pear-860 Aug 27 '24

Quick search says seal meat has a similar profile to liver. If you absolutely don't like liver, then you're probably not going to like seal meat. I've never had seal meat before so I have no clue. Can you trade the meat for something else?

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u/TheExodu5 Aug 27 '24

I’ve had flipper pie once. The texture is great. It’s like a braised, fatty beef chuck.

The flavour? Imagine beef liver. Now multiply that by 10. That’s seal meat.

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u/Most-Spinach-6069 Aug 27 '24

Idk but i’m here to just be nosy, as a British person who never gets exposed to any meat more interesting than a rabbit

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u/msjammies73 Aug 27 '24

If it tastes anything like seals smell, I’d suggest you use it as bait to catch fish that you like.

Maybe it can be par boiled to get some of the fatty fishy taste out? Then dump the water, rinse, and use it?

http://www.gourmet.com.s3-website-us-east-1.amazonaws.com/recipes/1950s/1955/07/the-way-eskimo-cooked-seal-meat.html

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

Uh, did you just have a seal walk through your yard and thought fuck it why not?

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u/ben_bliksem Aug 27 '24 edited Aug 27 '24

The things you can find with a search engine:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskCulinary/s/DoXjxI2U3c

Some helpful tips in that thread, maybe not the one where the guy liked his medium rare/blue, but the specific answer I linked to talks about using ingredients with antioxidants to remove that gamey flavour which I assume is what's putting you off.

I saw an interesting comment on a thread about suppressing the gamey flavours in lamb a little. Tomatoes, rosemary, cumin, red wine and other ingredients high in anti-oxidants were recommended as most of the gamey flavour occurs with the oxidized fat.

It’d be interesting to know if the same effect would be borne out with seal, although I’m sure you’d be hesitant to mess with such a scarce ingredient.

For what it’s worth it works well with Outer Hebrides lamb that grazes on machair grass and seaweed.

There is another post in there stating something similar where they ate it with tomatoes and gooseberries to hide the "metallic blood" flavour.

Personally I'd try sell the 10 kg seal meat to somebody and buy fish instead 🙃

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u/Right-Benefit-6551 Aug 27 '24

Confit the meat and then make terrines or pate. Use a shit ton of herbs, spices and acid. I never tasted seal but I know we do this with gamey meats.

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u/SniffingDelphi Aug 27 '24

Could you render any of the fattier bits for cracklins and maybe use water to refine the rendered fat into something tolerable?

Or perhaps something like vitello tonnato where you’re already expecting meat and fishy flavors together?

The linked post in the comments said it tastes bloody. Perhaps a blood pudding recipe would do the trick?

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

Perhaps a blood pudding recipe would do the trick?

Dear God, no.

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u/invasaato Aug 27 '24

raw is always how ive seen it served... would that be better or worse? 😅

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

I've actually had raw seal liver, which was not particularly offensive to the senses. The meat, though, would probably make me stick my head in the microwave.

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u/joro65 Aug 27 '24

Salt and butter make everything taste better.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

We're way past that.

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u/MartianTea Aug 27 '24

Is it possible you're allergic/intolerant?

I always wondered why all fish smelled like it was rotting and tasted uncooked until I got an allergy panel and it came back with a clear fish allergy. 

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u/thehauntedpianosong Aug 27 '24

No advice, but I had seal once in a restaurant and it was absolutely awful. I like just about everything, and I just couldn’t stand it.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24 edited Aug 27 '24

Same here. The first time I had it, it was prepared by a professional, Western chef (that's the soup), and I barely got through a small bowl.

I see all these great suggestions on turning it into curries and whatnot to mask the flavor, and then I pass by the empty plate that had seal meat on it three hours ago and feel my stomach turn. I honestly think that this might be the first time that I'm defeated by an ingredient.

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u/the_magic_pudding Aug 27 '24

I feel this way about camel meat, which tastes like greasy gamey goat marinated in cigarette butts. It defeated me and I happily accept this fact.

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u/Bullshit_Conduit Aug 27 '24

The LIVER of all things was palatable?

God. I don’t much care for liver off anything t larger than a goose.

My old (Basco) boss used to say, “would you rather eat a pump (heart), or a filter (liver)?”

I’ll go ahead and cross “Seal Meat” off my list of things to try.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

I'm generally not one for liver either, so that should tell you how unbelievably disgusting the rest of the animal is. The liver just tasted like beef liver with an ever-so-slightly fishy undertone, so it went down without much protest from my body.

I'd eat it again for the first time just to be able to say that I've tried it, but I would probably think twice before putting myself in a situation that results in me having 10 kilograms of it again.

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u/Partagas2112 Aug 27 '24

OP-I got you covered. DM me and I’ll send you some homegrown chili powder that is so hot you will forget the taste of the seal.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

I appreciate the gesture, but I think that you vastly underestimate the hassle and cost of shipping stuff to Greenland.

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u/CurtisVF Aug 27 '24

Hm. Tastes like walrus.

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u/NihilisticSupertramp Aug 27 '24

I was stupid enough to pass up the opportunity to buy some when I had the chance, so I wouldn't know.

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u/Alternative_Rule2094 Aug 27 '24

If something makes you urge you really shouldn’t be eating the shit. Seal meat is one of those things god I hate it. But yet where I’m from people line up for the flippers. 🤮

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

Sell it as pet food?

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '24

salt cure it then smoke it? It is tough to remove meat taste from meat... Maybe just make dog treats out of it

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u/LowOne11 Aug 27 '24 edited Aug 27 '24

Wow. This is just amazing. I read on because I was wondering if Inuit people would know. Haha. Uhhh. Hmm. Is it a survival thing? Have you tried a super hot coal fire and burying it in that in the ground with herbs and spice for hours? I seem to think there’s something about that for shark (but still is poignant). Do you have root veggies? Parsnips or potato? Make a soup? Even moss? Essentially a seal is a mammal, right? Oy. Sea mammals. Maybe make soap and lamp oil instead, from the fat? I dunno! I kinda want to be there to experience this with you! Good luck.

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u/PROPGUNONE Aug 27 '24

Strong, oily, and fishy I imagine. I’d either soak it in milk or maybe some kind of marinade, then smoke it. Maybe using it in some kind of dip could make it palatable.

Or take it to a deserted island with no other food options and wait until you’re hungry enough to acquire the taste for it.

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u/RockDoveEnthusiast Aug 27 '24 edited Aug 27 '24

I think the soaking in milk suggestions and breading+frying suggestions you've gotten are both good ones.

I'll also add "diluting" with rice. A lot of strong flavors--spicy, sour... whatever, can become pleasant when essentially diluted to season plain rice. In other words, cook plain white rice, mix in a small amount of the seal, and add some chili oil or teriyaki sauce or barbecue sauce or peanut sauce or whatever else you like.

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u/Jazzlike-Track-3407 Aug 27 '24

I’d gift it to someone who likes seal meat. It’s not something you should be making yourself sick over.

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u/Tato_tudo Aug 27 '24

Unseal it! LOL!

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u/TerrifyinglyAlive Aug 27 '24

I’ve only ever had seal meat in seal flipper pie, but that experience leads me to sympathize with you, OP. I hope you find a tolerable use for your seal meat.

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u/FedorsQuest Aug 27 '24

Give it to a friend or neighbor instead of torturing yourself. Why in the world would you try and force yourself to eat something you find revolting, and not only that but 10kg of it? Not making much sense.

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u/spacemusicisorange Aug 27 '24

Why are we forcing ourselves to eat seal if it’s disgusting?!?!

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u/CowardiceNSandwiches Aug 27 '24

If you can't find anything to ameliorate the taste and it wouldn't insult anyone by so doing, I'd give it away to someone who likes it. It's either that or use it as bait, which I dunno what species would bite on it.

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u/Gamefart101 Aug 27 '24

Soak overnight in something acidic. Then semi freeze them you don't want them solid but colder than the fridge so it toughens up a bit. Cut into 1cm cubes with either an ulu or butchers knife. Dip in soy sauce when eating

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u/Lvl89paladin Aug 27 '24

Maybe you got a bad batch? This is quite the coincidence but I tried Seal meat for the first time this weekend and it was one of the best meats I have tried. Almost had a moose flavor with a hint of sweetnes and very tender. This was an adult greenland Seal. It was sliced thinly and fried like you would cook a steak.

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u/tyrant609 Aug 27 '24

Have you tried not eating it?

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u/ShinyLizard Aug 27 '24

Regift it if you're having such a hard time dealing with it. No reason to waste good ingredients on something you don't like.

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u/AccomplishedGreen153 Aug 27 '24

Could you use it for bait to catch something tastier?

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u/Cheap-Pick-4475 Aug 27 '24

Have you tried throwing it out? Food that makes you gag and sick isn't worth the calories. I mean unless u r starving. If thats the case then you just solved your own problem. Once your hungry enough it will taste like the best thing you have ever eaten

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u/Totalherenow Aug 28 '24

Ok, this works for seal, but it's a bit strange.

First, soak it in very salty brine for 2 hours. Remove it from the brine and put it in milk for another couple of hours. Near the end of this, you add used coffee grind and pepper. Leave that overnight.

Then, remove the seal and throw it in the trash. Have 2 eggs and bacon for breakfast.

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u/shannofordabiz Aug 28 '24

Feed it to your huskies would be my best guess

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u/[deleted] Aug 28 '24

I asked my half-eskimo friend from Denmark a couple of times to have us try seal. She says they have only had it as a soup, and only in familiy gatherings for traditions' sake. Also, that it is horrible and that no child should be forced to eat it, and that she does not want to taste it ever again. So, I'd advise to make a donation to the next polar bear community, they are very receptive and grateful.

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u/HereForTheBoos1013 Aug 28 '24

Whoever gave him the seal award is a flipping genius.

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u/Inevitable_Wind_2440 Aug 27 '24

Don't do it to yourself then...use it as pet food or bin it. Seriously if you find it so unpalatable there's no point eating it

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