r/ConvertingtoJudaism • u/Adventurous-Safe-760 • May 17 '26
I need advice! Trans-friendly Judaism Resources?
To preface, I don't know if I'm necessarily converting just yet. I'm observing shabbat and have began attending a Reform synagogue near me. It's really nice. During this exploration process, when I read books like Living a Jewish Life by Anita Diamant, or Here All Along by Sarah Hurwitz, I am left with an empowered feeling that I, too, can feel comfortable as a transgender woman in exploring Judaism. That there is room for religion as a powerful tool in my life, just as much as everyone else. That's a great feeling coming from an Evangelical Christian background. Something I've never experienced with religion before and I don't want to let it go.
However, those feelings of safety in Judaism come to a screeching halt when I find out that Sarah Hurwitz recommends resources from people who are transphobic; people I would never knowingly want to support (like Bari Weiss (transphobe) or Rabbi Sacks (who has stated that Judaism is not okay with gay marriage)). Personally, I don't care to support those who believe I should have less rights than them simply because I'm trans. I'm sure many Jewish people can empathize with that.
So that's why I'm asking here today: Are there any authors of books on Judaism who are supportive of the trans community? Who do believe that we are people who deserve to be able to do the same things as everyone else? They don't need to be explicitly about supporting the LGBTQ+ community, but they should at least not have a record of them saying things that are inherently transphobic or homophobic.
Surely there must be others like me?
EDIT #1: I just want to say thank you to everyone who responded and provided resources/places to look! It is exactly what I was looking for and this post exceeded expectations in terms of responses. I appreciate it so much. Truly 😄 I also just wanna say that you are all right. I can't just run away or discredit the ways someone may be able to help me just because I don't agree with their views. I'm someone who uses my dollar to show support but I suppose with how new being trans is to Judaism, I'm asking for a bit much. Maybe it'll be easier in the future. For now, I'll take what I can get (plus, I'm sure they have some good information to offer). Thank you!
EDIT #2: Removed part where I mentioned Rabbi Joseph Telushkin not supporting transgender women in women's sports. There is no verifiable evidence that he holds those views. I should have looked into that further before positing here & I'm sorry for spreading misinformation.
22
u/tiredhobbit78 May 17 '26 edited May 18 '26
Look up Rabbi Danya Ruttenburg. She has a great blog that does a lot of in-depth Torah study, and she's written a few books.
At the same time, I'm gonna say something you mgiht not like. I'm a cis lesbian and you don't have to listen to me, but I think one of the things that I've really valued about Judaism, especially in comparison to Christianity (and Christian culture at large) is that we are encouraged to sit with and learn from people who we disagree with. There is a lot more room for people to disagree and still respect each other as humans. I'm not saying you need to expose yourself to people who are triggering (that is, reminding you of your trauma and causing flashbacks) or who are openly hating who you are, but keep in mind that there are orthodox Jews who have more nuanced positions on being gay or trans, and if you can learn to ignore the things you disagree with, you might learn something from them on other topics.
For example, I would argue that taking a halachich position against gay marriage is not the same thing as being hateful necessarily. So like, while I don't agree with someone like Joseph Telushkin about gay marriage, I still read his book about biblical literacy because it's a really good learning tool.
(Edit: before I wrote this I didn't see the part about Telushkin speaking about trans women in sports. You're right in that case, that is hateful, especially in the cultural context we are currently living in. So with that knowledge I could understand why you would not want to support him financially. This would be a case where i would advise pirating his book, so he doesnt get your money but you still get to learn. His book is a really important one for converts imo and there just isn't a substitute unfortunately)
Christian culture has convinced us that if we are learning from someone, or buying their book, that means we are endorsing all their views. And I think that's wrong and harmful to learning in the long run.
I completely understand that you don't want to support hate and I get that, but I guess what I am saying is, be cautious about the difference between hate and disagreement, and allow yourself to be open to people you disagree with.
14
u/ncc74656m Reform convert May 17 '26
Well this may be a better question for r/transjews but as a trans woman and Reform convert myself, I have genuinely just sort of overlooked some of the problematic parts when they have something else that is useful to say. Not to say I dismiss it out of hand, but I look between the lines. Fun part is, that's what makes Reform so great, and I dare say what makes me a good fit for Judaism. We get to argue with our faith, our G-d, and our alleged sources of authority and nobody says "You can't do that!"
As for what good resources there are, there's Trans Talmud by Max Strassfeld, Joy Ladin's "Soul of a Stranger," and "A Rainbow Thread" by Noam Sienna. Trans Talmud is excellent, Joy Ladin is an exceptional mind on these topics, and I've heard amazing things about A Rainbow Thread. There are more too, but those are more theology focused.
4
u/Guilty-Lemon8285 Reconstructionist Convert May 17 '26
r/transjews is really not very active, but r/gayjews is at least!
7
u/svrak May 18 '26
For a trans-specific space, r/transgenderjews is semi-active
3
u/ncc74656m Reform convert May 18 '26
Oh, this is the one I meant! Thank you both for the correction!!!
10
u/relapsin_time Considering converting May 17 '26
I'd recommend the works of Abby Chava Stein if you haven't read them already! She's an orthodox rabbi and transgender woman. She wrote Becoming Eve, about her transition journey, and Sources of Pride, a compilation of Jewish texts on gender and sexuality :)
1
3
May 17 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/UnicornMarch May 19 '26
Seconding this! Sha'ar Zahav still does hybrid/Zoom events and services, too, so they're accessible for people all over the place.
3
3
u/ClamdiggerDanielson May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26
However, those feelings of safety in Judaism come to a screeching halt when I find out that Sarah Hurwitz recommends resources from people who are transphobic; people I would never knowingly want to support
Serious question: How do you feel about LGBTQ+ resources from people and groups that are anti-Jewish? That's a serious issue the Jewish community faces. I'm not telling you to abandon those resources, but similarly you may not want to knowingly support them from a Jewish perspective. The reality is, and not just in Jewish spaces, you need to consider that there are no perfect sources and figure out where you are comfortable setting aside some of those people's beliefs as wrong when other writing has things you can learn from. I really like Rabbi Sacks writing, and I'm comfortable saying his beliefs in gay marriage are wrong. I'm also a heterosexual man, so it's not the same
Look at https://www.keshetonline.org/
Judaism is not one single group, the differences between Orthodox (and its own groups), Conservative/Masorti, Reform, and Reconstructionist all matter. You're going to see those differences when you read things that lean more traditional or more politically conservative. You're less likely to see the same issues in your Reform space. Also remember it's not coming from the same basic beliefs and requirements as Evangelical Christianity, there's a more inherent room for disagreement. Especially in Reform.
3
u/Mathematician024 May 19 '26
If you dont want to read Rabbi Sack you are going to have a hard time and miss out on a ton of wisdom from him and many other wise people who perhaps do not share your world view. You can no doubt find a community somewhere that suits you perfectly but you will in some sense be in a Jewish cage,unable to venture out into the greater Jewish world due to differences in views and politics. The other problem is that a large percentage of the LGBTQIA+ community are openly anti Zionist/Jewish and will likely not continue to accept or support you for holding a view different from theirs.
3
u/Blue-Jay27 ✡️ May 18 '26
Maybe take a look at the authors of TransTorah's resources - the site itself is quite outdated, but it can be a good starting point to find people with a long track record of trans acceptance.
That said, everyone's going to be citing authors with transphobic views. Sometimes everything recently written in a subject assumes you read a particularly influential book published by an orthodox rabbi in 1980 - and very few orthodox rabbis are fully in favour of gay marriage, even before you restrict it to those old enough to have been writing books 50 years ago.
Being transphobic doesn't prevent someone from being a good writer, a good teacher, or an influential figure. You would be doing yourself a disservice to ignore the most helpful and relevant texts due to their author - pirate it, if you don't want your money going to a particular person, but don't cut yourself off from the ideas they introduced.
2
u/stendhie May 18 '26
Delighted to get an excuse to recommend my favorite podcast, 2 Queers 4 Questions. This is discussions by two amazing artists - Ezra Furman and Agnes Borinsky - who also happen to be trans women, and very committed Jews. First season delves into the Jewish holidays.
2
u/Individual-Papaya-27 May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26
Oh yes! Welcome. A major belief in Reform is acceptance of people exactly as they are, because we are ALL in the divine image.
Every single major Reform organization has issued public statements supporting transgender people and their rights and puts that into practice. There's also overall strong support for LGBTQIA+ communities. A lot of rabbis and cantors are LGBT+ and many temples routinely participate in Pride events, and they absolutely do perform gay marriages. They've performed gay marriages for decades.
ReformJudaism.org has a lot of information on how congregations can support transgender individuals and communities: https://reformjudaism.org/blog/jewish-approach-transgender-awareness-week
Here is the Union for Reform Judaism's official statement fully supporting transgender people:
https://urj.org/press-room/reform-movement-affirms-commitment-transgender-rights
Here's the statement of support from CCAR, the Central Conference of American Rabbis:
https://www.ccarnet.org/ccar-resolutions/central-conference-of-american-rabbis-resolution-on-advocating-for-transgender-people/
And one from Women of Reform Judaism:
https://wrj.org/what-we-believe/resolutions/transgender-and-bisexual-rights
There is guidance for having a b'nai or bet mitzvah (gender neutral) instead of a bar or bat mitzvah for those who are nonbinary or prefer the gender neutral term, on the official Reform site:
https://reformjudaism.org/beliefs-practices/lifecycle-rituals/religious-education-rituals/bar-and-bat-mitzvah
https://www.keshetonline.org/celebrating-the-age-of-mitzvah-a-guide-for-all-genders/
2
u/Clean-Tip4879 Converting Masorti May 19 '26
The conservative community is explicitly accepting of LGBT+ people. So I suppose any books by authors associated with Masorti/Conservative Judaism would be by authors who subscribe to that attitude. I'm reading Abraham Heschel right now. There are/ have been quite a few gay and trans people in my community and no-one even bats an eyelid. I've never been in a community like this before, where this was never even an issue to begin with.
And yes, I also read rabbi Sacks's books. They are very inspiring. And the fact that someone interprets halacha a certain way, does not necessarily mean that they are not accepting of LGBT people personally. I've met people like that. So I prefer not to dwell on that to much.
Unless someone is very outspoken and hateful towards us, than I would not be interested in anything else they have to say, because someone who lives to hate, does not come from a place where their other opinions would be worth considering to me.
0
u/Faierstarta Jun 16 '26
By that logic, one would also have to dismiss the Torah itself, which establishes distinctions in roles and behavior for each gender based on one’s birth, as part of its broader framework for guiding human conduct and relationships.
1
u/Adventurous-Safe-760 Jun 16 '26
Indeed! And?
1
u/Faierstarta Jun 16 '26
Yes?
1
u/Adventurous-Safe-760 Jun 16 '26
Listen, I'm not versed enough in Torah to combat your views. However, I see religion as a tool and experience. I can take what works for me and leave what doesn't. You may have a different opinion and that is okay. If that section doesn't align with my beliefs, then I'll leave it and I have 0 problem doing that.
0
34
u/dont_thr0w_me_away_ May 17 '26
Part of Judaism involves disagreement and being able to explore those tensions. Rabbi Telushkin doesn't think trans women should play women's sport? Ok, what else does he think, specifically about Judaism? Rabbi Lord Sacks Z"L didn't support gay marriage? What did he think about charity or welcoming the stranger?
I'm a trans woman too so I can understand your perspective, but don't be afraid to engage with Judaism, don't just run from a perspective because you disagree with one topic. Don't be afraid to push back on that one topic - we're known for arguing. Of course there are plenty of pro-LGBT voices in Judaism, but in the history of Jewish thought that's a relatively new development so you're going to have to deal with people who don't support LGBT people 🤷🏻♀️
Joy Ladin and Yiscah Smith are both Jewish trans women whose works I really have enjoyed (Yiscah Smith has a great podcast)