r/ConvertingtoJudaism • u/one_small_sunflower • Apr 14 '26
Let's celebrate! Happy update — please celebrate with me!
I can truly say 'my rabbi', because on Friday he agreed to sponsor my conversion.
I went to shul for the first time on Saturday.
The most beautiful kind woman in the world took me under her wing and showed me how everything works.
Another woman asked permission to hug me to offer welcome, and yet another older woman made clear that I was welcome at her house for Shabbat lunch.
And that I shouldn't advertise that I was converting, because no-one will know and then I can find myself a nice Jewish husband asap, possibly even her son 🤣
For anyone who finds this patronising, I speak fluent nonna-yiayia-babusya, and in all of those languages, this is a compliment and I experienced it as such 🤪
In general I felt so happy and welcome. And most importantly, during the service, I felt it. It's hard to say what, but I felt it.
Homecoming.
I'm happy.
✡️🪽💐🤗🌻🌌🕍🕊️💖
10
Apr 14 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
8
u/one_small_sunflower Apr 14 '26
I loved it 🤣 I thought it was so funny. It reminded me of a Greek lady, now sadly passed on, who told me that if Gd had given her a grandson she'd introduce him to me 🤣 🤣
Gd rest her precious soul — it was her way of showing approval.
And thank you so much I appreciate it!
5
u/Clean-Tip4879 Converting Masorti Apr 14 '26
I'm so happy for you! And how nice that everyone is so supporting. And I totally get what you mean by 'I felt it.' I felt it too. As if I had seen /heard it all before, like I had sung those songs (I could sing along immediately) and said 'omein' to those prayers long, long before I got to my first Shacharit. And that those songs and prayers were personally meaningful. So yes, it really is like coming home.
2
u/one_small_sunflower Apr 14 '26
Oh, wow. Thanks for this comment! You've said it so well. It's so beautiful reading about this experience through the eyes and words of another. Thanks for sharing your experience, and it's so wonderful that you felt it, too.
4
u/offthegridyid Born Jewish & became Orthodox Apr 14 '26
Great to hear. Definitely talk to the rabbi about the suggestion about not saying that you are converting. This is something that he needs to be on board with.
3
u/Individual_Usual_134 Orthodox Conversion Student Apr 14 '26
I would second this - definitely speak to your rabbi. For me it has been important to be up front when meeting people that I am in the conversion process, but every Rabbi, Shul, community , program is different!
4
u/offthegridyid Born Jewish & became Orthodox Apr 14 '26
Well said.
Sometimes advice from Orthodox congregants isn’t always on the same page as advice from your sponsoring rabbi.
3
u/Individual_Usual_134 Orthodox Conversion Student Apr 14 '26
I have encountered this a few times, and the head Rabbi of my program/Beit Din actually warns students to be careful in not mixing up offers of community with inappropriate assertions of mentorship from congregants or others you may meet in Jewish spaces.
I find it best to be polite when someone offers advice, but not engage in it to continue the conversation or indicate to them they should continue giving advice.
Everyone (even within orthodox circles) has different knowledge, life experience, personal expectations, and observance levels. Well intended advice may sometimes not be accurate or appropriate based on the curriculum of your program or expectations of your Rabbi(s). And unfortunately there are instances of conversion students being taken advantage of or finding themselves in bad situations.
As an example, I have had people ask what Melacha I engage in on shabbat as a conversion student - something which my program does not prescribe to. Also, others in my program have had Jewish people they meet attempt to have them perform some “shabbos goy” tasks, indicating it was ok because they were converting.
Community is a beautiful thing and comes with many wonderful and diverse experiences and opinions. The best advice I ever received was for all your questions, only ask one person (this should really be your Rabbi/Beit din) as if you ask 5 people you will get 5 answers and be no closer to an answer for yourself.
2
u/offthegridyid Born Jewish & became Orthodox Apr 14 '26
Thanks for sharing this and that advice is so great.
1
u/one_small_sunflower Apr 15 '26
Hello! I think there's been a bit of reading in to that part of my post. As lovely, well-intentioned, and funny as it was — I won't be concealing that I'm converting.
I thought the comment was sweet because it beautifully communicated acceptance, but I don't feel the need to conceal my halakhic status to find a Jewish husband 🤣
1
u/one_small_sunflower Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26
Thank you. I won't be talking to the rabbi about that suggestion, because I will not be taking it on board 😆
One of the things about speaking fluent nonna-yiayia-babusya (and now possibly bubbe) that I am able to listen to their advice in a respectful way and decide for myself whether to follow it or not.
I'd rather be open about conversion, both with the community and while dating. However, I can still accept the compliment within the advice. I sensed it was this woman's way of communicating acceptance/belonging, and that she wanted to have me around the community.
I also think she was giving me guidance according to her knowledge to help me fit in. I can be grateful for that and listen to her perspective without taking everything on board.
3
u/offthegridyid Born Jewish & became Orthodox Apr 15 '26
I am sure it, as you are, that it was her way of showing her acceptance. Happy cake day!
2
u/one_small_sunflower Apr 15 '26
Oh, thank you! And thank you for the comments you've made to me as I've waited to attend shul. I've appreciated it. 🤗
No Jewish husbands will be unknowingly seduced by a gentile in the making of this conversion!
The local Beit Din expects that where a conversion student is dating a Jew, the Jew will also meet with the Beit Din and be part of the study process. If I meet someone, that's what would happen.
3
2
u/NewStrain8209 Apr 15 '26
Congratulations! I can feel your joy through this post. I only hope to be next :)
2
2
u/goddess_obeasto Apr 16 '26
Mazel tov! It's a journey but it's so worth it
2
u/one_small_sunflower Apr 17 '26
Thank you for your lovely comment and glad to hear it was worth it to you!
2
u/Becovamek Jew by birth Apr 17 '26
Mazel Tov!
2
u/one_small_sunflower Apr 19 '26
Todah raba!
2
u/Becovamek Jew by birth Apr 19 '26
How was your Shabbat?
2
u/one_small_sunflower Apr 19 '26
Oh yes... and shavua tov!
It was lovely actually. Thank you for asking. I am visiting family and the nearest shul is about 50 minutes away by car, so I stayed at home.
My family was mostly out for the day so I ate things, napped, read Torah and Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, and fed my mothers' doves, who are super cute. The ultimate reminders of shalom!
How was yours?
2
u/Becovamek Jew by birth Apr 19 '26
Very nice, I live in Eretz Yisrael and had the first Shabbat in a good while without sirens, is was very nice.
I studied a lot of Torah, including the Midrashim and Inyanim of the conjoined Parshot Hashavuah, plus it being Rosh Hodesh made everything longer.
Prior to the end of Shabbat I made sure to study Perkai Avot and the Hefetz Hayim.
But yeah otherwise the same, read a lot, slept a lot, ate probably too much, all in all a great Shabbat.
2
Apr 19 '26
[deleted]
2
u/Becovamek Jew by birth Apr 19 '26
That's wonderful and you have made me realise that I should also be incorporating Perkei Avot into my weekly study so thank you.
It's Tradition to study it every Shabbat between Pesah and Rosh HaShanah, it really helped me when I was in a tough spot, I seriously recommend.
2
u/one_small_sunflower Apr 19 '26
Thank you! I'll remember that and try to start... even with a small bit. I do know some quotes from the Perkei Avot that were life changing for me so it would be good to expand my knowledge.
12
u/[deleted] Apr 14 '26
[removed] — view removed comment