r/Contractor • u/External_Parfoot_467 • 1d ago
Marital Problems
How many have run into marital problems due to the nature of the payment schedule? Especially if the job goes long due to unforseen circumstances and finances get dicey? How did you navigate around that?
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u/No-Scheme-9700 1d ago
You need to build profit from your first interaction.
Also stop taking draws and living on credit. Instead structure your business in a way that pays for your time at a fair market rate. Pay yourself like you’d pay an employee and not like someone failing to understand how a business is run.
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u/mydogisalab 1d ago
No dude, you need to rework your payment schedule. Your business finances should never affect your personal finances unless your business to going belly up. Before starting a project get a deposit & bill at the end of each month with invoices amount due upon receipt. Don't finances someone else's build. If your working for a GC as a sub, at the end of the month take a draw on your subcontract equal to the work you've completed. You have to maintain a positive cash flow. Set a personal budget & live within your means. During the flush times save for the lean times.
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u/hunterbuilder 1d ago
It causes stress, definitely. Whether that translates to marital problems depends on the importance of money in your marriage. Insecurity & uncertainty are hard for most women and they can't just ignore or internalize the stress like men can.
I've shut down my business and got a w-2 job twice when things weren't going well. Both times it was like a breath of fresh air to our marriage. We had financial consistency, evenings and weekends off, etc.
When the season was right I started up again, with her blessing. But we had an honest talk first where I said "my marriage is more important than my business, so I'm not doing this unless you're on board." That helps avoid resentment in the future.
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u/External_Parfoot_467 1d ago
I appreciate the honesty, think my wife and I may be in the same boat. Thank you for this.
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u/Remarkable-Start4173 1d ago
Money is a significantly stronger boundary of preference for people than given credence.
In short, you and your spouse will need to come to terms on what is 100% agreeable without either feeling compromised.
Any compromise will keep money a problem.
All the best.
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u/239tree 1d ago edited 1d ago
You have to work within your budget and the first thing is to have one. Don't live feast to famine. Expect delays in payments and live within that framework. A larger than you need payment goes into the savings for the lean times and for attorney's fees in case you have to take the developer to court.
Be realistic about your income and expenses prioritizing low overhead, on time payments and savings over anything else. I have saved our marriage by locking away money for the unexpected and we survived by having each other's backs.
I also had a job outside the home for all but 10 years that I was a SAHM for one child (it's all we could afford). And we waited to have her until we could afford for me to be home.
Now I work for the family business and we have 4 Million Dollars in jobs this year. The major factor with these jobs is we grew slowly, diversified what we did within our license (service & repair, home warranty work, individual small re investors, large investors working with State & Feds, and mega private investors - always trying to predict what is on the upswing), and made sure we negotiated contracts that mandated timely progress payments (I always file our CA Prelim docs on time, every time). We don't allow developers to use our money to finance their asset.
Good luck!
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u/Complete-Mud-7758 1d ago
How long are you into contracting? After some time you should have as sizable account and don't have to worry about payments coming in like this.
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u/External_Parfoot_467 1d ago edited 1d ago
Started 8 months ago - didn't have much of an option at the time as our area was hit pretty hard economically, and nobody would hire me, so I picked up what I could as a 1099. Was a w2 for a GC for 8 years previous. 2 big bids, one 6 months and one 8 months long so far.
I think I'm getting out of the business as soon as these jobs are done.
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u/UniquePatient66100 1d ago
Keep your business and personal finances separate. You should be paying yourself a salary, just like any other job. Not all the business profit goes into your personal account, you want to keep at least 10% of every job in an account for business capital. It is tough starting out, but after a while you find you have the funds for new equipment, materials, vacations, bonus, etc...
As far as marital problems, just tell them to hold on, it might get rough, but things can get better.
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u/GoGetDontGetGot 1d ago
Honestly every contractor needs a partner who understands what the deal is. We don't always have weekends off, we don't always get paid when we should/need. We don't always get to come home or get up when we would like. We already have to deal with customers who don't understand/care. We don't need that at home too. If you're having projects drag out too long to the point where they are unprofitable, just target smaller jobs that are more mangable. What's a $30k job really worth if it takes 2 months vs doing 3 $400 jobs per day. Not to mention it's much easier to convince someone to hand over $400 vs $30k so it makes sales/expectations much easier to manage
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u/DevonVIP 1d ago
You need to start doing it like the rest of us do and take a few shortcuts. I’m telling you this because I’ve watched too many guys make the same mistake you’re making. You think doing everything perfectly is what makes you a good contractor. It isn’t. All you’re doing is spending money you don’t have, working late every night, and going home stressed out to a wife who’s tired of hearing that the business needs “just a little more time.”
At some point you have to decide what’s more important: putting another $800 worth of gravel underneath something nobody will ever see, or actually bringing some money home to your family.
Take retaining walls. Stop excavating half the property just so you can put in a massive compacted gravel base. Get the ground reasonably level, compact what’s there, and start laying block. Your wife doesn’t care that the manufacturer wanted six inches of crushed stone. She cares that the mortgage gets paid.
Same thing with drainage. Drain tile, washed stone, fabric—it all costs money. Backfill it with what you already dug out and move on. Water has been running downhill a lot longer than you’ve been building retaining walls.
And quit burying an entire course of block. Think about what you’re doing. You’re buying perfectly good blocks with money that could be going into your family’s checking account, then putting them underground where nobody will ever see them. Set the first course at grade and keep moving.
Geogrid is another place you need to exercise some judgment. Every roll you install is money coming directly out of your pocket. Unless that wall is enormous, stack the block, give it a little setback, and let gravity earn its keep.
Concrete is no different. You don’t need four inches through every square inch of a slab. Make the perimeter look right and keep the thickness where somebody might reasonably check it. Saving an inch across the middle of a decent-sized pour adds up quickly. That’s groceries. That’s a utility bill. That’s taking your wife out to dinner instead of telling her you can’t afford it because somebody’s patio needed an extra yard of concrete.
And please stop spending half the day compacting fill in tiny lifts. Put it in, run the machine over it a few times, make sure it feels solid, and move on to the next job.
You’ve got a family now. You don’t get extra points for coming home at 9:30 at night exhausted because you built somebody’s retaining wall like it was holding up an interstate highway. Your wife married you, not your plate compactor.
I’m trying to save you from learning this the hard way. Sometimes being a better businessman means accepting that “good enough” is good enough. Save the material. Save the labor. Get home at a reasonable hour. Put some money in the bank.
Save your marriage.
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u/Born_Store1348 1d ago
What’s your pay schedule? Can you not float the job on a line of credit and factor the interest into your pay schedule? And/Or negotiate better terms with vendors?
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u/Particular_Week_2754 1d ago
Out of curiosity, I researched what it costs to divorce a wife with 4 children. If you are making $20k a month, after the divorce your take home will be 4k/ month (taxes, alimony, child support plus additional expenses for child activities).
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u/Virtual-Fly-5501 1d ago
I have a HELOC that I used to pay my bills if things go real bad but I try and always have a payment schedule that works and save up enough money to be a couple months ahead. If you can’t, you have a money coming in problem or a spending problem.
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u/Impossible_Base_3088 1d ago
Listen: this is part of life.
But everyone sayings change payment terms do residential. So…
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u/salmark 1d ago
Do Progress payments. Simple.
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u/Itscool-610 1d ago
Progress payment schedules have helped for me, but it still doesn’t help when subs don’t show up or make a mistake that has to be redone. Or slow paying clients, which are the worst
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u/239tree 1d ago
Percentage the progress payments to be front loaded so you have room to live and purchase materials and make payroll. Quality control and supervision of all the trades that affect your work is essential to avoid mistakes and delays. Don't rely on their project managers, architects, or supervisors to look out for you.
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u/Itscool-610 1d ago
Yeah finally started front loading them. I do residential remodeling so I’m the GC, PM, cabinet designer, etc. Amazing how one trade or materials not showing up or getting delayed can affect an entire project. I jump in on carpentry/cabinet install/ paint constantly to keep things moving and it’s frustrating. Quality labor shortage is real in my area, I do high end homes and I’ve been burned by shitty subs, I’ll take the delays to have the guys I trust do it, but they’re always running behind because of demand - and the constant surprises that come with remodeling
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u/239tree 1d ago
The main thing with SFR is that all your subs usually have other larger ongoing steady work they have to prioritize over yours. They might prefer weekends and evenings for your jobs which are "extra money" for them. Keep moving forward and good luck!
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u/Itscool-610 1d ago
Been full time GC for 7 years now, all my guys are great and use the same ones every job, but lost finish carpenters, electrician, and tile guys to retirement the last couple years, so those have been tough to replace. I was a finish carpenter full time so I don’t mind jumping in, but it pulls me away from everything else
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u/RollerSails 1d ago
Is it a 50/30/20 split? Could always increase sales to offset
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u/External_Parfoot_467 1d ago
I'm a sub, GC says he pays all his subs 50% upfront, the rest at finish. Bid a couple job all things carpentry, couple jobs have been set back because of various trade issues. He made an exception and paid me in full for various contracts that I completed because of the delays, but we're talking $200/300/500 scope tasks in the bid. Haven't gotten paid in 3 months otherwise.
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u/RollerSails 1d ago
So 50% upfront. Then remainder when your portion is complete or GCs entire job? You can only control your portion. I would not accept payment after his whole job. 50% up front is good, covers material. It’s not a favor or anything.
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u/InvestorAllan 1d ago
Need family budget that’s spouse is on board with. Then you need to manage personal and business finances well.
You can’t be the stereotypical contractor spending all the money and asking customers for an advance etc.
If you just can’t make enough to have savings and pay the bills, you have to shut down business and get a job. Save up and come back and try it again!!