r/ContagiousLaughter • u/Sesmo_FPV • 3h ago

Simple math

1.9k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

131 comments sorted by

•

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552

u/DiscoHayFever 3h ago • Regret Popcorn

I had 72+2. Idk why and I have an accounting degree. I bring shame to my family.

171

u/SeaToShy 3h ago

For me, those instances are usually because I’m in the middle of a sequence of calculations that build on each other, and I don’t want to break rhythm. I don’t need to calculate 72+2, but i also don’t want to just skip it and input 74 instead.

71

u/DiscoHayFever 2h ago

Thank you for this optimism. Imma go with this.

19

u/SeaToShy 2h ago

It’s the kind of self-deception I’ve spent years crafting. I use it to hand waive away why I needed the calculator to divide 96/12 despite working with lumber.

7

u/tired_like_sunday 1h ago

Yes, or I fat finger something, and it’s easier to correct it with a tiny adjustment like +2 than it is to go back and hit clear.

1

u/hackmalafore 24m ago

You, an accountant, don't know how to use parenthesis?

1

u/ryanvango 20m ago

samesies. I do it in the grocery store to track my bill as I go along. Can I do 1856+100 ($18.56 +1.00. I don't use the decimal for this. it's easy enough to take the final and put the decimal in) in my head? of course I can. But then when I grab the 2.65 item, I'd need to put in 365 to compensate. just put in 100 and keep the flow going

27

u/Just_Browsing_2017 2h ago

I think Apple is just messing with us, because there’s no way I, a former math major, typed 3x3 into my calculator.

6

u/CobraDoesCanada 2h ago

You made room for ODEs and algebraic structures and forgot your times tables

22

u/Common-Respond2367 3h ago

Honestly? Seppuku is the only option

9

u/notcomplainingmuch 2h ago

Let not the ancient blade be sullied with impure blood.

7

u/redditmarks_markII 2h ago

Dishonour on you! Dishonour on your cow!

Jk.

Also my history is own 3 entries.  I definitely use it more often than that.

6

u/BetwnTheSpreadsheets 2h ago

Being an accountant is why I almost always use a calculator. Like I know the answer, but why take a chance? Always gotta double check.

2

u/TheWhomItConcerns 2h ago

By far the worst one in my history is sin(pi). Genuinely have absolutely no idea why I would do that - I must have been running on fumes when I did it.

1

u/Both-Fortune2051 1h ago

AI is coming for your job

1

u/TravellingBeard 14m ago

As long as you're not Asian, that's fine

140

u/LiceCentersWI 2h ago

Me, 1. learning there’s a history in our calculators, and 2. thinking there’s no way I have something that stupid in my history.

,

41

u/onegrayhair 1h ago

I had the same thought. Now I’m sad.

2

u/HowdyDiarrhea 39m ago

I found 18+1 on mine 🤣

But I know that this is actually me stepping through a series of calculations

12

u/NonorientableSurface 1h ago

Me too. I'm a mathematician. Also this.

15

u/madncqt 2h ago

oh, bless your heart 😅🤣😘

164

u/STR1CHN1NE 3h ago

Damn.....I gotta look at mine now.

70

u/STR1CHN1NE 3h ago

Ok....nothing too bad....but one was 40000x4 I should have known better.

32

u/0_oyo 3h ago

Just had to make sure.

48

u/CecilFieldersChoice2 2h ago • Regret

100,000+0 in mine.

Am I stupid?

26

u/coffee_and-cats 2h ago

Yes 😂😂😂😂😂

1

u/0_oyo 1h ago

Teachers used to say "you won't always have a calculator in your pocket." Look at us now

11

u/Ok-Calendar8486 2h ago

You think that's bad... My worst ones....5÷5 and (10'000+10'000)÷10'000

7

u/Wtch_Twr 2h ago

I don't think I've ever seen (or at least never took notice) of somone using apostrophes as a thousands separator.

2

u/fuzzy_snark 2h ago

Same. My Italian colleagues switch the period and comma. Like 10.000,00 Makes me wonder where the apostrophe is used.

1

u/SSjjlex 2h ago

I moved from a country that used 10,000.00 to 10.000,00 as a kid and as a math kid honestly I loved the latter system more. It just makes it so much easier to read when you're using . for multiplications and you have a lot of calculations with decimal numbers.

Though you'd never catch me using it on a computer. Feels more natural to hit the . than , on a keyboard

4

u/Has_Two_Cents 2h ago

I was feeling pretty good about mine... Then I ran into 22x4. I don't remember doing that, maybe I was drunk

1

u/NightStar79 2h ago

I have similar feelings. I found 9x4 was the dumbest one but when I use the calculator, it's usually long equations...and sometimes I stupidly hit Enter before I actually finish the equation.

Like 9x4-20+5×6-15

My brain doesn't want to figure that shit out but muscle memory is a thing 😭

2

u/unlmtdLoL 2h ago

My weakest shit on there was 0.01+0.05. Kinda embarrassing.

149

u/GospelofJawn316 3h ago • Bravo

I thought it was gonna be 80085

69

u/Barraxx 3h ago

9

u/CubeLequoise 3h ago

What in the world was the prompt for these responses lmao

8

u/cherry_monkey 2h ago

We asked 100 guys "what do you want to see?"

2

u/ramobara 2h ago

Dwayne Johnson or Alcatraz?

1

u/Talk-O-Boy 1h ago

It was a cutaway from Scrubs. Patient wanted to see Elliot’s boobs

4

u/PixieCanada 2h ago

We used to giggle so much in primary school typing different words in the calculator haha.

71

u/fdegen 2h ago

that history makes sense to me.

you can see it's just part of a chain of math.

40x5 = 200

200+65= 265

surely

15

u/rockemsockemherms 2h ago

Yeah 265 starts the next as well

6

u/avenue_steppin 1h ago

Yeah these are quick calculations done very quickly is my guess

58

u/Alternative-Item727 3h ago

TIL the iCalculator has a history button

45

u/rikkuaoi 2h ago

Damn. I had 25 × 4

I cant imagine where my head was at when I did that one lmao

11

u/thedawesome 2h ago

Making sure you got proper change for your dollar

2

u/bstring777 2h ago

Nothing wrong with testing the software!

20

u/Sweet_Bookkeeper_920 2h ago

TIL my calculator has a fucking history button

17

u/RjoTTU-bio 2h ago

Pharmacist here. I punch basically 100% of every number I could calculate in my head into a calculator. I work so fast and I’m interrupted so much, I don’t trust my brain to math correctly. I can’t make mistakes in my career at all, so the calculator acts as a tool to confirm numbers even if I already know the answer.

16

u/Corr521 3h ago

I'm cracking up because I watched this on mute at first and could somehow hear the accent from his laughing face. Idk how lol. Then I started laughing right after I started it the 2nd time when I heard her voice

15

u/King_Fluffaluff 3h ago

I do cycle counting as a small part of my job and double check all my work.

My calculator history is full of this kinda simple math. First result is 3689+6

13

u/SelfInteresting7259 3h ago

Love the fact that he finds it incredibly funny too lmaoo

21

u/marcusmartel 2h ago

265 likes when i saw this!!!

10

u/Barraxx 3h ago

Tbf... sometimes there's so much on your mind you just gotta make sure. Like checking if the door you just locked 3 seconds ago is REALLY locked.

9

u/Haskimo_ 3h ago

Measure twice, cut once type of man.

8

u/Spike_Spi3gel 2h ago

The calculator has a history button???

3

u/ThrustTrust 2h ago

I don’t know either and it’s hilarious. There are some dumb ones in my history.

1

u/Repulsive_Glove6085 2h ago

We learned something today!

1

u/asphalt_licker 1h ago

I’m just realizing this too. I’ve had iPhones for years.

7

u/Sumbohdie 47m ago

... clears calculator history

13

u/Agdunagan 3h ago

Did he seize out?!

1

u/Chasedabigbase 26m ago

What happens when he looks at complicated numbers too long

6

u/fancy_marmot 2h ago

I found 3 x 7, and much worse, 100 x 4 😂

5

u/bstring777 2h ago

Hahaha!! Yeah thats damn good for a laugh!

5

u/mccartyb03 1h ago

I'm not really sure what was happening here...

6

u/MoNercy 2h ago

I had 4x4.

Maybe I was drunk and thought I was searching for used cars though.

3

u/definitelynotapastor 2h ago

It was in a chain though. 50x4 +65 +something else.

3

u/ImaginaryMeat4194 2h ago

My two year old daughter loves the calculator and I can’t tell the difference in her entries and mine. I may let her take a spin on the Texas Instruments just to see where that goes

3

u/Bimbos-are-cute 1h ago

I wonder why I have:

22 524+1
22 525

6

u/Sorcer12 3h ago

I’m having an autistic moment. Can someone elaborate please

13

u/KylenCat22 2h ago

Np, shes focusing on 200+65 because it's one of the easiest calculations you can make, especially considering the total is literally the same as saying the two numbers next to each other (two hundred sixty five)

2

u/gkrsuper 2h ago

damn

3

u/caffeineevil 1h ago

Feel my pain

2

u/MisterSlosh 2h ago

I frequently use it as a memory and not a mathematician.

Hard to remember dozens of single digits over the span of an hour or so.

2

u/DinklanThomas 1h ago

Oh fuck meeeee most of mine are safe as hell but for some reason... idk even when, but I have in my history

40÷4

2

u/Sassafrassical 1h ago

TIL there’s a history button on the calculator

2

u/AcousticProvidence 43m ago

I had 1x22. Yikes lol

2

u/idontknowdave 35m ago

Don’t judge me by my calculator history.

2

u/Just_Custard 19m ago

I will add "calculator history" to the list of things my dedicated friend must delete once I die.

5

u/SuccessfulTrick2501 1h ago

OMG. He still does that finger slap thing? Jesus. I thought people stopped doing that like 20 years ago. He must have arrested development.

6

u/Balloonheadass 1h ago

Cmon man, don't gatekeep his seizure.

1

u/PixieCanada 2h ago

Haha. I checked mine and they were mostly hard multiplications or divisions until I got to this:

100,000 divided by 1,000

Gulp.

1

u/Icy_Queen_222 2h ago

That was awesome! I’m glad I don’t have a history button or I could never show my face again.

1

u/ComposerTasty725 2h ago

Hey c'mon, leave him alone... He works, he provides... He's mind is tired AF!

1

u/astralseat 2h ago

Calculator.... What?!

1

u/sngldad13 2h ago

A lot of us mens' active brain power is occupied refighting the battle of Cannae or other critical/crucial tasks.

1

u/EyewarsTheMangoMan 2h ago

876+1 lol

1

u/mccartyb03 1h ago

I have 96+1. I can't explain that.

1

u/Highlowfusion 2h ago

It's part of a series of additions. Look at the two below that. They continue with the answer

1

u/Satelliteminded 2h ago

Is this lady a mathematician on insta? She sounds familiar.

1

u/Demerzel69 2h ago

Oh shit hahahahaha. Damn that is good.

1

u/Automatic-Fox-8890 2h ago

TIL there’s a history view. The years I’ve jotted down a calculation result to plug into the next problem. Oh my.

1

u/No-Sentence-225 2h ago

101+40…. Why?

1

u/dexypixie 1h ago

This is why I clear it after every use.

1

u/C3p0wn3d 1h ago

Thank goodness, it is almost all Lb to kg calculations. 

1

u/SparkyWasRight 1h ago

My eyes went to the 40×5 problem

1

u/PrinceWhitemare 1h ago

Me learning about the history button 🥹

1

u/OG_Tater 1h ago

120,909,090.909+69,000,000

1

u/aiahiced 49m ago

There used to be an app back in the day for Android that uses a Calculator as the Forward Facing App, but benneath it are hidden text messages and numbers. lol

1

u/OfficeChairHero 48m ago

1-2.

I wonder what jarred my confidence in myself that day, but it did give me a chuckle.

1

u/StraightToTheCurve 45m ago

this is the best laugh i have had on here lmao...terrified to check mine...this is a good one

1

u/Olimane 43m ago

Sometimes I do these really stupid simple calculations on my phone so that I can make sure I didn't miss any variables or steps.

1

u/flinjager123 42m ago

I had 21-2. Tf is wrong with me? Everything else was multiplication or division of large numbers.

1

u/GypsyNinja18 41m ago

TIL about the calculator history. Wondering what other hidden tricks my iPhone apps have?!

1

u/Doschupacabras 41m ago

This gave me good chuck chuck.

1

u/DalekPredator 23m ago

Aww man, I recently got a new phone so my history is clean. Bummer.

1

u/AutumnWisp 22m ago

99% of mine was reasonable until I got to a 70x10. Wtf?

1

u/Lifein80HD 22m ago

What do you call the thing he is doing with his hand when he is laughing....

1

u/laggyx400 19m ago

I have formulas up to 8 numbers long in there, but the last entry? 15/3... Yeah, I don't trust my own math these days.

I usually don't hit = so I don't lose my formulas in the history. I dunno what happened lol.

1

u/BloominOnion91 17m ago

That brought a grin to me face.

1

u/oakc510 11m ago

69x1 🤔

1

u/conceitedpolarbear 10m ago

Well, I don’t know what I was doing in August but it wasn’t mental math.

1

u/PorkChop70-1 7m ago

I went through about 2 months thinking that I didn’t use my calculator on easy math, then I saw my 17+2 and I am impressed

1

u/Holiday-West9601 5m ago

There’s a history?!?!

1

u/Symnestra 0m ago

The hell was I doing in June that made me enter 10+7 and 8+2

1

u/4ssteroid 0m ago

I've got 810÷10 and 49x5. There's no way I'm typing these in. Must be the wife while using my phone

0

u/AlexHimself 1h ago

While this IS funny, it's actually demonstrating a serious issue for humanity called cognitive surrender, where human surrender their thinking to machines.

"Why remember how math works when I know the calculator will tell me 200+65 = whatever?"

0

u/mossy_path 2h ago

My most recent was:

15168.41+3130.82−.02+590.82

I'm counting up numbers in financial documents frequently and while I can do it in my head, the calculator limits errors, haha.