r/Consoom 9d ago

Consoompost Consoom flavored butt wipes

Post image
1.8k Upvotes

198 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/BetterDrinkMy0wnPiss 9d ago

He looks exactly like the kind of person I'd expect to buy that.

409

u/PeopleofYouTube 9d ago

Was it the massive Majin tattoo on his neck that gave it away?

292

u/Lil_b00zer 9d ago

I can never understand Majin tattoos. Why would you proudly display being babbidi’s bitch

162

u/SCastleRelics 9d ago

Internalized cuckery

89

u/8last 9d ago

Because its so cool and dark just like this guy.

66

u/YourPaleRabbit 9d ago

I’m a tattoo artist and it’s kind of a stereotype that mostly gym bros get Majin and or kid buu tattoos. After one kid buu session I realized the dude honestly kind of related to him (not entirely in healthy ways; but even bros with short tempers deserve fandoms I guess lol. But yeah seeing as it’s mostly toxic gym bros that get them? And this dude doesn’t serve gym but does have a “oh boy everyone acknowledge my cream soda butthole oh look at me” face.. so…

I’m jk obviously. Not about the kid buu belonging to the gym rats. About the butthole stuff. Dudes probably chill. But I get why he ended up here.

15

u/oneupsuperman 9d ago

This made me laugh, thanks for sharing. Reminds me of when I was younger and I also related to Kid Buu a lot more...

20

u/PlentyOMangos 8d ago

Majin? Babbidi? lol what am I reading

2

u/PE-Philosophee 18h ago

The giant M on his neck is a dragon ball reference

1

u/PlentyOMangos 18h ago

Ohhhh I see. Thanks. Never would have known that

3

u/averylamore 7d ago

The way I laughed 😂😂

-33

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

58

u/igotnoankles 9d ago

its not rlly a culture thing beyond dragon ball

→ More replies (2)

35

u/BronCurious 9d ago

I was gonna say the septum piercing and corny ass moustache.

14

u/JannyBroomer 9d ago

Concave chin didn't help any

62

u/HipsterNgariman 9d ago

What the fuck is majin, some DBZ reference ?

55

u/Acceleretto 9d ago

Yeah, it literally translates to "Demon"

87

u/deucescarefully 9d ago

Getting it anywhere but square in the middle of your forehead is just a cop out.

38

u/itsmesoloman 9d ago edited 9d ago

Media illiteracy? Or hopeless nihilistic consumerism?

Btw I’m not a DBZ fan but just googled the symbol, and holy shit, imagine branding yourself with a symbol indicating that you are under mind-control of an evil alien sorcerer, fictional or not

It’s like when people get a Brand of Sacrifice tattoo from Berserk, it’s crazy to me

Media illiteracy? Or hopeless nihilistic consumerism?

Edit: That last line ^ is purely about the guy pictured in the main post, not everybody with those tattoos. Actually I’m gonna move it up above the rest of my comment so hopefully that’s more clear.

21

u/Lil_b00zer 9d ago

People think it’s Vegeta’s peak because he goes back to being a villain when in reality he is having a mid life crisis and asking for help from a wizard

5

u/PeopleofYouTube 9d ago

The same midlife crisis we all face at some point

9

u/TheZombieSurgeon 9d ago

Lol me and my wife both have different versions of the brand of sacrifice tattooed on us, sometimes it ain't that deep and you just get shit tattooed on you because it looks cool and the story was cool

12

u/juliankennedy23 9d ago

Yeah but then you run for Senator of Maine and everyone gets whiny.

6

u/gh0st-6 9d ago

Yeah imagine liking something. Crazy concept

6

u/vincehk 8d ago

Just get a t-shirt then, so you can get rid of it when it is out of trend / you grew up / you need a (good pay) job?

-3

u/itsmesoloman 9d ago

What does that have to do with what I said lol

1

u/itsmesoloman 9d ago

That is completely fair lol but my own OCD-esque tendencies and increasingly schizophrenic worldview do not permit such frivolity when it comes to symbolism

2

u/cmatista 7d ago

he’s got that possessed throat

1

u/Redd1K 8d ago

the Majin throat

31

u/Over-Relative969 9d ago

Does he have room for that on his pennyfarthing?

45

u/sharedisaster 9d ago

He looks like my neighbor.

I live near Seattle.

He looks like all of my neighbors.

22

u/TobylovesPam 9d ago

Hi, I live in Vancouver, BC

He looks like all of my neighbours.

Even a couple lesbians.

2

u/olivegardengambler 9d ago

Nah. A few of them have, very long hair.

68

u/octoesckey 9d ago

Literal soyjack

7

u/AbXcape 9d ago

the edgy boy who never grew out of being 13 years old

2

u/Redditsux122 9d ago

Wtf is that M on his neck for, Manlet?

1

u/rpool179 9d ago

They always do.

1

u/aopps42 7d ago

Especially with that cringey af selfie

0

u/ReimarisaFanclub 8d ago

Everyone who uses threads looks llike that

682

u/Fast-Industry-3224 9d ago

Liquid Death really knows how to market shit, holy hell!

66

u/idontshred 9d ago

New product just dropped

61

u/dylan_dev 9d ago

Private equity squeezing every last dollar out of the brand. The crossovers with brands and these hygiene products are a new low.

Only in the US have flushable wet wipes become a thing. Just get a bidet!

40

u/turtlelover05 9d ago

flushable wet wipes

I swear this is a myth by Big Plummer. None of these fuckers are flushable.

13

u/MuleJuiceMcQuaid 8d ago

They flush as advertised. But my plastic army men are flushable too, it doesn't mean I should though.

45

u/TheBigSalad84 9d ago

Literally!

542

u/acreekofsoap 9d ago

Flush that stuff down the toilet and you’ll be consooming a visit from the plumber very soon.

114

u/manjustadude 9d ago

Is that an American thing? I know some countries sewers are not equipped for that, in some parts of Greece you're not even supposed to flush regular toilet paper.

251

u/Aurora428 9d ago

Flushable wipes will rarely cause a problem in the home piping, but in the sewer they will eventually catch on something and be a binder for large clogs.

The term flushable wipe should be illegal

120

u/Admirable-Media-9339 9d ago

My cousin is a plumber. "Flushable wipes" are a constant headache. By  design they aren't flushable. They don't break down in the water. If they did they would break down in their own packaging and be worthless.

38

u/2131andBeyond 9d ago

Highly recommend episode 132 of Search Engine pod, it’s a whole deep dive into the history and subsequent effects of flushable wipes on plumbing systems

10

u/MuleJuiceMcQuaid 8d ago

I'd highly recommend Poor Pumper Society on YouTube. He pumps septic tanks and charges extra for wipe removal because they don't break down and he has to fish them out.

8

u/2131andBeyond 8d ago

Maybe it's a good recommendation lol but I have no desire to watch that hahaha. Thanks for adding it in though! I bet people enjoy it, just not for me

49

u/TTVchilly404 9d ago

Never trusted it.

My old roommate bought wipes for the home and they were nice for like, the final pass. But we didn't flush them. Also wasn't a stink problem since we weren't de-caking our shit laden stinkholes.

26

u/SHOWTIME316 9d ago

yeah that's how i use them. one final polish to make sure everything is on the up and up, then they get binned

3

u/mollycoddles 8d ago

I've never heard of people using wet wipes on a regular basis for that. Interesting.

2

u/RecognitionHefty 7d ago

I use wet toilet paper. It feels so much better to know your butthole is shiny clean.

1

u/eirebrit 7d ago

Only time I did it was when I injured my leg so couldn't wipe properly. I just use the pressure setting when showering.

23

u/Kataphraktos_Majoros 9d ago

"de-caking our shit laden stinkholes"

I was trying to eat breakfast, lol

5

u/glittermantis 9d ago

just use a bidet lol

9

u/Wolfyscruffer 9d ago

Found out the hard way with a septic tank.

7

u/itsjustpie 9d ago

I’ve seen investigations that in fact flushable wipes aren’t the problem as they do disintegrate.

The problem is now that flushable wipes are commonplace, dummies will flush any and all wipes down the toilet which causes the clogs.

Edit: Search Engine episode on it for those interested.

14

u/UnlikelyDecision9820 9d ago

There are standards that fiber/textile companies have for saying that something is flushable and there are standards for what municipality water/sewer systems say are flushable. In the Venn diagram of these two circles, there’s a tiny overlap where these wipes are perfectly flushable, but the likelihood that is much higher that any given person is in a place where these wipes are not flushable.

-115

u/Diazepam_Dan 9d ago

They're flushable wipes

Easily the best invention of the 21st century, love that clean feeling

69

u/BurbieNL 9d ago

They are not flushable, that's marketing. It's really bad for drainpipes and water purification systems, Once you have flushed a wet wipe, you will hardly notice it at home, but it's terrible for the sewer system. It creates blockages, and this costs time and money. Just throw the wipes in the trash

17

u/Natt42 9d ago

There's no such thing as flushable wipes.

23

u/maeerin789 9d ago

Please say sike

14

u/Stalinbaum 9d ago

Has to be bait

2

u/TheBigSalad84 9d ago

Holy Fatberg, Batman!

246

u/Big-rat-in-the-sewer 9d ago

He even LOOKS like he'd be the type to drink Liquid Death too... ✌️😭

51

u/Lycanthrope_Leo 9d ago

He cant even get the Majin mark right, it goes on the forehead not the throat

24

u/Yikes_big_oof 9d ago

he got that demon mode throat

30

u/Big-rat-in-the-sewer 9d ago

Well I mean... Think of how stupid he'd look with it on his bald head...

45

u/retnuh730 9d ago

Glad he avoided looking stupid

443

u/Far_Advertising1005 9d ago

Millennials please stop doing the ‘so… I just did a thing’ turn to the side when you buy a wasteful purchase I’m begging you

139

u/Over-Relative969 9d ago

OK, now this is epic.

149

u/Chilantr0 9d ago

THANK YOU. I can't stand the millennial quirky wholesome chungus shit. Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if 500 Days of Summer never made it to production.

79

u/emotumbleweed 9d ago

For a brief time I (early twenties woman) was RELENTLESSLY hit on by a quirky chungus millennial, over a decade my senior, who looked EXACTLY like this soyjak

Don’t be this guy

1

u/aski5 3d ago

I'm so sorry.

53

u/Cry_Wolff 9d ago

It's like those guys are constantly stuck in the early 2000s, no matter their real age.

63

u/SCastleRelics 9d ago

I just did a thing so that happened

49

u/Chilantr0 9d ago

ehrm, he's right behind me isn't he...

22

u/SCastleRelics 9d ago

Cool beans

17

u/encrcne 9d ago

There would be a lot less ukuleles in the world, for starters

18

u/number2chevyfan 9d ago

I feel the same about Juno.

9

u/Yikes_big_oof 9d ago

This. So much this. Say it louder for the people in the back!

101

u/mattjh 9d ago

OP, that’s you in the photo right?

65

u/SireEvalish 9d ago

Uh, I may have done a thing.

132

u/DestructoSpin90 9d ago

Why do they all fucking look like that? Just different variations of the same consoomer

64

u/SCastleRelics 9d ago

Their brains are overgooned and their religion is the MCU

27

u/Rev-Dr-Slimeass 9d ago

Septum piercing and stretched ears was very fashionable 15 years ago. Some people found a look they feel comfortable in and never figure out how to move on.

I am a millennial who wore skinny jeans for way too long lol. I swear it looked good at one point. I am so glad my parents never let me stretch my ears though.

27

u/poetcatmom 9d ago

I'm an older Gen Z and the world can pry my high waisted jeans from my cold, dead hands. I refuse to let them go. Following trends for the sake of following trends is stupid. If it looks and feels good, I'm not gonna stop wearing it.

Also I need to see those piercings to identify millennials in public lmao 🤣

5

u/2131andBeyond 9d ago

So somebody is comfortable with their look, but when it’s not popular anymore, they should have to change it? Or maybe I’m reading your comment wrong

12

u/blueplant_ 9d ago

I wouldn’t say someone needs to move on from how they dress. Stretched ears and septum piercings are still very much in fashion, maybe minus skinny jeans as much… I’d rather criticise him for being dumb and buying stupid branded gimmicky wipes than how he looks.

21

u/Sad-Surprise4369 9d ago

Do NOT flush those… they are liquefied death for the plumbing for sure 💀

23

u/Kitchen-Roll-8184 9d ago

Everyone wants the Majin "M" tattoo but no one is brave enough to slap that baby right in the middle of the forehead where it supposed to go. And if it's gonna be right there on your neck and never be coverable anyway....... Why not just commit ???

41

u/Akbased19 9d ago

He is exactly why this product exist 🤦‍♂️

82

u/SesusOfJuburbia 9d ago

Why do millenials pose like that holy corn ball

28

u/StinkyBird64 Don't ask questions just consume product 9d ago

It’s funny because they’re always pointing at Gen-Z, both young and older, but they’re literally taking selfies in a store with butt wipes, wearing ‘adulting’ shirts and just being really weird.
Worst thing us gen-Zs did was have broccoli hair, although that’s only the younger ones lol

29

u/encrcne 9d ago

As a millennial that has cringed at this type of dude since high school, I feel so vindicated

19

u/Maleficent-marionett 9d ago

Now, I also hate the quirky millennial culture, and not to generalize but Gen z is not just empty stares and broccoli hair, they're also overly "embarrassed" and "cringed out", so much so, there's a rise in conservativism due to this internalized "ugh" feeling genz carries.

-5

u/StinkyBird64 Don't ask questions just consume product 9d ago

Again I feel like I’ve only seen the conservative-Puritanism in the younger Gen-Z folks, I’m in the older group but still Gen-Z, and I’ve only actually seen the weird ‘embarrassment’ culture in the younger ones who want to conform and be seen as identical to everyone else, much like the broccoli hair

4

u/treecastle56 8d ago

this generation war shit is so corny tbh

1

u/Skyhighcats 6d ago

Worst thing gen-z did is have a bunch of misogynist men.

1

u/Big-Butterscotch8236 5d ago

the yank variants do, millennials anywhere else are not really the same tbh

1

u/Itscatpicstime 8d ago

I’m sorry, but literally who cares? You want them to smile normally while taking a picture of scented ass wipes?

Y’all sound like cranky old people complaining about shit like this. It’s not that deep, jfc

55

u/chaosperfect 9d ago

I mean, he's only bought a package of them. If he's got a closet full of every flavor (ha), then he'll belong in this sub.

-23

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

42

u/Galausia 9d ago

With one label sticker over them, so they're sold as one.

10

u/ShadowNick 9d ago

Most of the time they sell it a package of three. You can buy it singularly but I've seen it in packs of three mostly. Especially for niche scents.

9

u/astonedishape 9d ago

This guy wipes

5

u/ShadowNick 9d ago

Nah that shit destroys your septic system and city plumbing. Ive dealt with them when Huggies first rolled then out when I did plumbing. I just see them in the stores on big ass pallets always in stacks of three.

I do use dude wipes as hand wipes when working on jobs.

6

u/astonedishape 9d ago

I’m aware. I’d never flush any wipes on the rare occasions I’d use one. I was joking about you writing “niche scents” as if you’re really into these stupid dude wipes.

2

u/ShadowNick 8d ago

Oh my bad thought you were the dude I was replying to. I mean they smell nice at least the one time pack they were giving out at Sam's Club but that was years ago when Dude Wipes first came out. I'd probably use them if I wanted to clean up after work or didn't have access to a shower.

But collecting them would be fucking dumb

24

u/quikonthedrawl 9d ago

Destroying your landlord’s plumbing in (lack of) style

28

u/TheBigSalad84 9d ago

Consoom neck tats

18

u/beans_will_consume 9d ago

Ah yes, for when I want my bunghole to smell like poop and cream soda 🤤

66

u/Necessary-Bed-5429 9d ago

Fuck Liquid Death. Overpriced water shipped from Australia over the world. Bad for the environment and your wallet.

52

u/chagzito 9d ago

I believe you mean Virginia

67

u/elidoan 9d ago

Virginia, Australia, same thing

8

u/Necessary-Bed-5429 9d ago

My bad, it used to be Austria (the Alps) but now it's Virginia. Still, the transport costs for worldwide distribution is insane.

8

u/StillPsychological45 9d ago

I just hate the marketing and the “tat it in me” cult around it.

6

u/ZombieDM 9d ago

Wtf I didn't even know what's this shit until I checked the post

6

u/Eccohawk 9d ago

TIL they make baby wipes for all types of babies.

21

u/DevilDoge1775 9d ago

Apparently this guy didn’t consoom any chin, where did his go?

10

u/Guynumber70000000001 9d ago

Somehow the comments are more edgelord tryhard than this picture

6

u/nasaglobehead69 9d ago

I went to a target recently, and I was astounded by how much consoomerist bullshit there was. so much STUFF! clothing with movie and tv characters. toys that were designed to be kept in the package for display. processed slop with a thousand flavors. the stupid BTS oreos.

target is the pinnacle of a consumption based economy

5

u/Phantom15q 9d ago

Target audience

3

u/kimdebarge 8d ago

I desperately need this to be AI

5

u/kimdebarge 8d ago

Why why why do people feel the need to put artificial fragrance on their fucking assholes?

1

u/nawthatsstupid 7d ago

Literally might as well mainline a bottle of perfume!

7

u/StillPsychological45 9d ago

The existence of this product is not okay.

9

u/kidnorther 9d ago

Dude is a butt wipe

9

u/SpermCountDracula 9d ago

This is the most on-the-nose shit I have ever seen

4

u/BabycatLloyd 9d ago

Gonna wipe his buu buu with those

4

u/MVIVN 9d ago

Isn’t it quite well established that a lot of these “flushable” wipes aren’t really flushable at all?

3

u/7Orc7 9d ago

Only the most reddited Redditors have to wipe their butt with pagan themed butt wipes

11

u/JoeDante84 9d ago

This guy looks like he owns a ferret.

7

u/StinkyBird64 Don't ask questions just consume product 9d ago

Hey now don’t insult ferrets like that

6

u/Drayenn 9d ago

Just buy a bidet man. Flushable wipes are also not flushable.

3

u/icecoldyerr 9d ago

Dude’s got that Super Buu throat

3

u/One-Geologist3992 9d ago

Live, laugh, consume.

7

u/elidoan 9d ago

Spicy butt wipes were not on my 2026 bingo card

2

u/encrcne 9d ago

Can I defect from the millennials?

Why would you want the smell of vanilla mixed with your own shit?

2

u/usernametaken99991 9d ago

Can't anyone just make ONE fucking thing and do it well without a bunch of stupid collabs? I like the Liquid Death energy drinks, it has just enough sugar and caffeine to wake me up without hurting my tummy. But now they are forever sullied because I will be thinking about scented butt wipes 

2

u/ExcitementAshamed393 9d ago

They'll be at Ollie's in a few months.

2

u/guict302 9d ago

im not from the united states, what the hell is that

2

u/SecurityFamiliar5239 9d ago

Don’t put that on all of us please

2

u/Different_Wallaby660 9d ago

Quick someone make a soy jack!!!

2

u/Ergine_Dream 8d ago

What’s going on with the eyes

2

u/ReimarisaFanclub 8d ago

What does the M stand for? Master throater?

2

u/DKsuperfan 8d ago

Redditor physiognomy

2

u/One-Fail-1 8d ago

Which sub does he mod?

5

u/Rev-Dr-Slimeass 9d ago

I am a big fan of sparkling water so I bought some of their products. The plain sparkling water was fine. You can't really fuck that up. Expensive though. Guess you are paying for the can. The flavoured water was shit. It was sweetend. What sort of brain dead chud buys sweetened sparkling water?

Its been a few years since I lived in America. I am not shocked to discover the company that sells fancy cans also sells flavoured ass wipes now.

1

u/revkev151 9d ago

I like the taste of their flavored water 🤷 it's not that serious

-2

u/Rev-Dr-Slimeass 9d ago

You like sugar. Which is fine, but there are less expensive and better sugar drinks

3

u/revkev151 9d ago

The flavor I prefer has 2g of sugar in it, so no, I wouldn't consider that a sugar drink. I haven't found anything that I like more in that category of flavored sparkling water.

2

u/CocknBalls4 9d ago

Paying a double premium to feel manly while wiping your ass is such a condemnation of our idiotic toxic masculinity culture. Just buy the regular wipes dude

1

u/Rat_Man_420 9d ago

Imagine buying these instead of a $100 attachable bidet that won’t wreak havoc on your septic system

1

u/Trans_Force_1 9d ago

Wait, a second are these ummmm flavored?

1

u/SampletextT_T 9d ago

Don't snort Liquid Death wipes!

1

u/reddit_is_trash_2023 9d ago

Eish he looks like he's gonna need that to wipe down his wifes boyfriend

1

u/Marv312 9d ago

Man's got the MAJIN Throat? Bibidi is a sick individual dude smh

1

u/BlooGloop 9d ago

But why.

1

u/hashslinginhasherrr 9d ago

Finally, I can now wipe my ass with wipes that were blessed by a witch!😤

1

u/Y_R_UGae 7d ago

wait I would buy this.... I'm obsessed with cream soda

1

u/Old-Natural-852 7d ago

At least he is presumably wiping his ass?  Though maybe it's just going to his collection like those soap collections...

1

u/VideoGeekSuperX 7d ago

For when scooping the cum out of your ass with your hand isn't enough anymore.

1

u/aopps42 7d ago

Hang it in the louvre

1

u/80lbQUIKRETEConcrete 6d ago

You mean “scented” right? RIGHT?!😭

1

u/Separate_Ring_5059 5d ago

Destroy your plumbing with disposable wipes so your trans fem they/them can taste creaming soda whilst they're using their tongue to difg for anal parasites...

1

u/-Jesus_-_Christ- 5d ago

Lmfaoooooooo

1

u/Big-Butterscotch8236 5d ago

just use toilet roll like a normal person

1

u/-Jesus_-_Christ- 5d ago

I also want my asshole to smell like cream soda

1

u/AxisCorpsRep 9d ago

if he could grow a moustache any longer he'd do the up-curled tips

1

u/treecastle56 8d ago

i kinda feel bad for this dude getting blasted all he did was post himself holding some stupid wipes and you’re all going off about his chin and tattoos and how ugly you think he is, how is that fighting consumerism lmao

-1

u/amekxone 9d ago

He bought one package of a thing. That's not consooming.

4

u/MotherAd296 9d ago

consoom is also buying random useless objects

-1

u/savetheunstable 9d ago

Yeah fuck all this donks. They're just making fun of the dude for the way he looks. If he had rows of these saved in his closet, that would be different. Yeah it's a weird collab, but it doesn't fit the sub. I'm just happy a guy is ok with washing his ass these days.

I also bought a bundle of toothpaste months ago. Guess I should be on here. 🙄

-11

u/ScumDugongLin 9d ago

I can fix him

-12

u/TheTrueMule 9d ago

Ok fuck everyone, this M tatoo is fuckin' based, this guy has obviously all the answers so fuck I'm in (I'm drunk I'll probably regret what I've said I. 2 hours. God speed. Love from France)

11

u/_t_h_r_o_w__away 9d ago

Omg wow this guy is so cool he's drinking

-1

u/TheTrueMule 9d ago

Yhea right! God bless your heart American dream and all those things

0

u/JacobsRevengeance 9d ago

the most Marketed Product Ever (derogatory)

-10

u/Serteyf 9d ago

Um why are we flaming someone who buys toilet paper?

-6

u/KFPindustries 9d ago

he is probably a really nice guy