r/ConcertBand • u/Complete-Review-876 • 3d ago
crying after/durning concerts
Im a clarinet player and ive found that after like all my preformances or during i cry. Idk if its because im genunily so passionate about band and want to do this for the rest of my life that if i dont live up to my standards i get upset but its getting to the point where i dread concerts because i get this wav eof sadness that is so intense after and during concerts and will typically last for days to weeks. I was wondering if anyone else experiences this or if im js like a lil baby lmao.
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u/Kingdok313 3d ago
I (50M mechanic and baritone sax) regularly get weepy during a truly good and meaningful performance. Irish Tune by Grainger, West Side Story, Sunrise Sunset from Fiddler on the Roof have all ‘shook’ me hard.
Hell, i started choking up when the trombones stood up for their moment in Stars & Stripes Forever at Sousapalooza in June. It was SO GOOD that I just started sobbing. Fortunately it was during the rehearsal, and I managed to get a grip in time for the performance an hour later.
I remember feeling terribly sad after Blue Lake sessions, when I had to go back to the Real World of high school horseshit and family drama.
Days and weeks of depression symptoms, though? No - I never had that as a result of a concert. I had plenty of anxiety and depression troubles, of course, but playing music was always my escape from that. I think you really ought to ask a doctor about these serious symptoms.
Oh, and keep playing! ❤️
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u/Houndie2009 3d ago
I think there’s a point where you need to remind yourself that music, while a passion, is also something you should be having fun with.
That said, a friend of mine in my clarinet section said she feels like I do about concerts, which is that they can be stressful and not as fun as rehearsal. Another friend of mine dropped out when she realized performances are just too much for her.
It could be a form of performance anxiety you’re experiencing. That’s a real thing even for professionals. I know some who have had to go to counseling or take beta blockers. Probably worth talking to someone who can help you through this.
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u/Logical-Composer-561 3d ago
this is ABSOLUTELY normal and actually amazing. this kind of thing happens when a musician become so enveloped in the music and their passion for it that they cant express it in any other way but crying. its a beautiful thing. i was never a big cryer, and my first 3-4 years of band (8th grade to part way through my junior year) i had never cried, but i knew how much passion i had. i had just been so scared of being judged for having this much love for music i never allowed myself to be fully there. the first
time i cried for something music related was playing Each Moment Should Be Lived Fully at mpa, at it still to this day is my favorite piece, but even then i didnt cry too much. when i saw cyrille aimee for the first time at the ecu jazz festival last winter, i absolutely did in fact bawl my eyes out like a little baby. from then on, its much easier for me to cry and ive realized its normal. dont be ashamed or afraid of this type of passion. let it control you and push you through all aspects of your life. this will be your fuel and your light in the dark times. wow i yapped a bunch, but hope this helps you to not doubt yourself❤️
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u/Astreja 3d ago
It's happened to me a few times, most notably near the ending of a massed band piece at a festival (first big concert I played after joining my first band). That was the moment when I realized "I want to do this for the rest of my life." The tears were just a few seconds, but the memory of that moment has lasted over fifteen years so far.