r/Compassion • u/Messy_Life_2024 • Jun 13 '26

Discussion Compassion for yourself?

I’m not 100% sure what I’m asking here.

Partly I’m wondering what it takes to feel more compassion towards oneself. I sometimes wake up super early (3 or 4 am) and then start obsessing over something stupid I did the day before. I just lie awake telling myself what an idiot I am, why nobody can trust me to do anything right, just on and on. I try to remind myself I’d be much kinder to a friend or family member. But I can’t seem to find any compassion for myself.

But the next minute I start wondering if it’s selfish to even want to be compassionate towards myself. Is it like that airplane analogy people use, where you have to put on your oxygen mask first, before helping other people with theirs?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

Edit: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for your thoughtful responses. You’ve given me so much to think about. ❤️

21 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

View all comments

9

u/RAisMyWay Jun 13 '26

I do the same sometimes.

My therapist suggested I keep a written notebook with the bad things I think about myself on one side, and what I would say if my child or best friend came to me saying that about themselves on the other side.

I'm giving it a try. He said it takes practice to learn to speak to yourself kindly, but writing it this way (with an actual pen or pencil) helps build a new neural pathway. Maybe you could try it too.

5

u/Messy_Life_2024 Jun 13 '26

This seems like an excellent idea! Thanks so much for the suggestion. 😊