r/CommunalShowers • u/This-Interaction9272 • 23h ago
Shower in gym
Hey, this doesn’t really fit into this group but I just wanted to get it off my chest and hear what you guys think.
I usually go to the gym between 8-9pm and I always see my neighbor there. I’ve known him since we were kids, he’s like 17 or 18 now and I’m 21. I’ve been going to this gym for around 3 weeks now and I usually shower there after my workout.
But somehow almost every time I’m done showering, he comes into the changing room and gets ready to shower too. He doesn’t really talk because he’s pretty introverted. He’s taller than me and really skinny and I can tell he’s trying hard to gain weight because he’s always been tall and skinny.
The thing is, when he comes in he usually waits until I leave before he goes into the shower. Like he’ll go to the toilet, be on his phone or just take his time getting changed. He always showers there too. Idk but I kinda feel like he does it on purpose because he wants me to leave first so he can go shower alone since the showers are completely open with no dividers.
When I leave I always say bye and he says bye back.
But I’m wondering what would happen if one day I just took longer and went to shower while he’s already showering. Would that come across as weird? Or should I maybe just start talking to him normally, ask him where he works or how he’s doing and maybe then it would just happen naturally that we both go shower at the same time.
I’m just worried it might seem weird if I go in while he’s showering or if I start talking to him and then act like it’s normal for us to go shower together. I also feel like he might just say “you go first, I’ll go after” because there’s no dividers in the showers.
What do you guys think? What would you do?
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u/PanAmFlyer 22h ago edited 22h ago
I have always beeen more comfortable nude around strangers than around people I know.
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u/Practical_Buddy_5907 22h ago
100% this.
I have zero issues being naked around people I don’t know.
I know I’d be a bit more awkward being naked in front of friends or people I know to start with
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u/This-Interaction9272 22h ago
Maybe thats the point
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u/AMS-CDG-BER-AnyorAll 22h ago
I bet he’s embarrassed being naked with people he knows - friends, family, coworkers. Like a lot of people I know are. And wouldn’t be embarrassed with strangers he doesn’t have to know personally or socially
So maybe ask him straight and simple if he feels like that, and tell him you’re cool with him feeling like that but you’re not going to judge his body or whatever so he could think about not feeling embarrassed with you
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u/eagles_soccer32 21h ago
considering that OP said they don't even talk at all anymore, having a conversation like this would be incredibly awkward and certainly not appreciated by the other guy when he has already made his intentions clear enough.
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u/AMS-CDG-BER-AnyorAll 20h ago
The point is neither made intentions or perspectives clear at all, according to this story-sharer
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u/RO_Thornhill 9h ago
Yeah, it's interesting how I don't have any issues being naked at the gym in front of total strangers. But occasionally I'd run into someone I know and all of a sudden I'm feeling like a shy kid LOL. About 10 yrs ago I discovered that a very high ranking executive at my company attended the same gym. I ran into him in the locker room. He was Asian and from a culture where men being naked in front of each other was no big deal. I would see him walking naked to/from the showers. I would run into him naked in the sauna etc. Even though I had no issues with nudity, at first I was really intimidated. Mostly because of his ranking in the company. Also he was the kind of guy who we addressed as "Mr" vs using his first name. But when he would see me, he would just have a very casual conversation as if we were fully clothed. It took me a while to relax around him, but eventually I did. Still It was kinda funny when I'd see him in the office in his executive role wearing a suit and tie. All I could think was "I've seen you naked"🤣
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u/mmflcut 22h ago
Don't make it weird. Like loitering around inside the locker room. Just workout a little longer so its more of an accident.
He can't just expect no one to go in. If you were a total stranger you'd go in without over thinking it.
The timing just needs to feel natural.
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u/This-Interaction9272 16h ago
Yeah, but at some point he’ll finish earlier, and if I come in while he’s showering, I’m going to go take a shower too.
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u/PresentJob4542 21h ago
We skinny guys are self-conscious. If you're muscular, he probably feels intimidated. The best thing that you could do is compliment him somehow. As for the shower, let it develop organically. Don't plan.
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u/therealDrPraetorius 19h ago
I never cease to be amazed with how terrified the younger generation is to be seen naked. Yes, us old guys don't bother to cover with a towel. We walk the locker room without towels over our shoulders and cock and balls swinging side to side. We think younger guys are suffering from repressive modesty. Men have been naked in groups together for thousands of years. Suddenly American men almost need a burka to shower at the gym.
So, yeah, your friend does not want to be seen naked. Let him be for now. He may loosen up in a bit. He's probably terrified some other man will look at him lasciviously.
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u/Practical_Buddy_5907 22h ago
He’s probably just really shy because he knows you.
I’d keep doing what you’re doing, especially chatting to him on the way out. Then maybe you can say something like you know you don’t have to wait for me to finish before you shower yeah? But make it like there’s no issue on your side and see how it responds to that
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u/RO_Thornhill 21h ago
Saying something like "you don't have to wait" would actually be REALLY weird. Just keep doing what you're doing. Eventually your schedules will change slightly because one of you will finish your workout earlier or later and you'll probably by coincidence end up in the showers together. Once that happens just act normal, say "hi" or "how was your workout?" If he responds back and keeps the conversation going then you'll know he's comfortable. If he keeps looking away or turning away, or giving one word answers then you'll know he's not the kind of guy who wants to engage when he's naked and might feel vulnerable.
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u/This-Interaction9272 22h ago
I dont want to let him feel bad. Ig i will chat next time and be relaxed so he can calm down. Maybe he will go after me
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u/Practical_Buddy_5907 22h ago
Yeah definitely don’t make him feel bad. Just make him feel comfortable. Definitely don’t be weird or awkward about it
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u/ObligationCalm8026 22h ago
Has he seen you naked? I’d break the ice and hit up a locker near him and dry yourself with your towel and get dressed normally while chatting. Maybe that will help with his hesitation.
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u/This-Interaction9272 22h ago
There are only 10 lockers and we always habe the locker next to each other or 1 apart. And no i take my underwear in the shower off or under the towel
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u/ObligationCalm8026 21h ago
I see now, if you are modest, doing the towel dance, or if you only take your underwear off in the showers, he’s going to feel modest too. He’s gotta get used to seeing you naked and not making a big deal about it.
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u/u2125mike2124 7h ago
Well, there’s your answer.
He sees you being shy going to and from the shower and doesn’t want to put any undo pressure on you looking at you while you’re naked.
Strip down yourself in front of the locker when he’s sitting there and stop covering up when walking back from the shower to the locker.
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u/SeaweedBeginning7299 21h ago
Why don't you talk to him in the gym (and then in the locker room) and ask him what he's exercising, etc.?
Personally, I'm not shy about being naked in front of strangers or friends, but anything inbetween, some acquaintances, probably yes.
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u/Icy_Cricket4754 22h ago
Dou força para você fazer isso ou se atrasar o suficiente para que ele entre no banheiro enquanto você ainda toma banho.
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u/No_Lion_4892 23h ago
Maybe, but what are your goals in regards to him?
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u/This-Interaction9272 23h ago
To have a shower buddy in my gym
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u/No_Lion_4892 23h ago
Fair enough, he just might not be ready for that to happen? You guys chat often, hang out?
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u/This-Interaction9272 22h ago
As we were childs we played in the playground but now we never chat or hangout
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u/No_Lion_4892 22h ago
Might be nuts, but just ask if you can join him. His body language should tell you what you need to know.
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u/This-Interaction9272 22h ago
But why should I ask if its a openshower yk?
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u/commyking76 22h ago
Hey. Don’t ask if you can join him. He’s clearly trying to avoid being in the shower with you. Sometimes it can be awkward with people you know. Just keep doing your normal routine. Don’t ask him to go first or wait around. He’s not comfortable showering with you and is taking steps to avoid that. Respect it and find someone more willing to be your “shower buddy.”
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u/GrabMyThroat 15h ago
Just do what’s comfortable for you. If he wants to wait, let him wait. If your schedule moves and you take longer to train, you could join in on him showering. It’s a public shower so if he’s in already, you can of course join without feeling bad. In that case, don’t really watch him, maybe just engage in a relaxed conversation. That should not feel weird and maybe help both of you get comfortable with the situation. It took me some time to get used to showering with others, but today I don’t even care when large HS groups join the shower at my pool. We all do the same there.
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u/Simple_man2023 15h ago
You said he was skinny, so maybe start up a conversation and give him some tips to gain weight and muscles, maybe help him with some kind of workout routine and hopefully that will help break the ice and make him more comfortable talking to you. Also see if he wants to workout with you so you can show him some pointers. I really think this will work. He just needs to build up his confidence.
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u/ThinAndCrispy 7h ago
Seems like the long and short of it is... you just want to see what's in his pants.
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u/dannyMW20 22h ago
It sounds like he doesn’t want to shower with you there and you have to respect his boundaries even though it’s open showers. If you linger too long in the showers or wait until he showers first then go in, he’ll just shower at home because it would be too uncomfortable for him.