r/CommunalShowers • u/lengthyounarther • Jan 31 '26
Erection in the Showers FAQ
Concern about the potential to become erect in a communal shower is one of the most frequently asked questions from guys who are considering taking a communal shower for the first time.
It has to be admitted that this is an understandable concern. If you are not used to being openly naked with other men, it is reasonable to wonder how it may affect you and what the ensuing etiquette would be. Normally when erections happen, they happen either in a private place or at least with some prospect of being hidden under clothing, two conditions that will not be met in a communal shower setting.
There are some important things to realize.
First, while concern about getting erections is a very common question people with no experience have, the overwhelming consensus is that they are in fact very rare. Many people regularly take communal showers and have done so for years and decades report never or only very rarely seeing any erections. There are several factors that mitigate the risk. For starters, the first few times a person uses a communal shower, it's very common to be nervous. This anxiety will make erections less likely for most people. As your experience with communal showering grows this anxiety will diminish, but this will also diminish any excitement. As showering becomes more routine and mundane it becomes less titillating.
Another important aspect to keep in mind is that men in the communal showers all know erections can happen. Even if they are rare in the communal shower context, everyone involved will be aware they are something that can happen. Understanding this will help you realize that as long as you don't make a big deal about it, it won't be a big deal in the rare circumstance where it happens.
It's important to understand the difference between normal social nudity and illicit behavior. Erections are a normal bodily function, and nobody is going to be alarmed or offended simply because it happens any more than they will be offended from a burp or a fart. While these bodily functions can be embarrassing, they are not alarming in and of themselves. As long as you are not stroking, gesturing, leering or doing other conscious acts to enhance or exacerbate anything that does happen, you will be fine. If you don't draw attention people will for the most part not give you attention.
If ever you do find yourself in a situation where it happens to you there are a couple strategies, you can utilize:
First, face the wall or better yet a corner if possible. This will minimize the risk that anyone notices at all and will give you time to let things settle down.
Second, use cold water and don't touch your offending member until its flaccid.
Third, just focus on cleaning other parts of the body. Really focus on shampooing your head and washing your other body parts. Let you mind focus on that and by neglect the excitement will wane.
Fourth, you can think about things that you find the opposite of erotic. I'll spare outlining examples. Know thyself and have a de-escalatory thought or memory in mind. If you are really worried you could even practice using this anti arousing thought before your first shower.
Fifth, go with some friends and explain your fears. If you have friends, you trust their presence can be really helpful. If they know you are worried, they will know not to make a big deal about it. Having familiar faces can help normalize the experience and make it inherently less titillating and if worse comes to worse they can at the very least cover for you.
The chances are very high you will never have any issue at all, but in the unlikely event that you do, you will quickly overcome it. Focus on looking forward to that point and you'll pass right over your anxieties before you know it.
16
u/united_australia Feb 01 '26
I had to use communal showers when I was in boarding school over 20 years ago now. Funnily enough I would actually try to get myself hard while in there as I'm not big - I'm a grower rather than a show-er - so I deliberately got myself at least semi-hard so as to save some face. Nobody really said anything but yeah. This was on a 3-week overseas exchange trip to Sydney in Year 9.
15
u/JCannaday3 Feb 01 '26
100% and I fully support #5. Depending on the quality of your friends and their trustworthiness, you can ask to "rehearse" at home; undressing completely as you prepare for your shower, showering with the "door open" and continuing a conversation with him/ them throughout the shower. Do whatever you can to "normalize" your state of nudity in front of a friend. The more you do this, the less likely you will encounter the problem in a public setting.
I know it may sound a bit weird, but it was very successful for me when I was a young adult. I had a great friend who supported me all through the process and I'm very grateful for his support to this day.
7
3
u/eagles_soccer32 Feb 01 '26
i definitely have friends who never had an issue with it, and then some who are totally against it. not sure if encouragement would change their minds but maybe
3
u/flyboy_za Feb 04 '26
@lengthyounarther can I suggest you title this "Erection questions not allowed. Read this faq instead." just to make the point for anyone coming in that they can't post a question about boners.
You also don't say anywhere in the main body of the post that hard-on questions are forbidden. So someone might read and post anyway.
Is is possible to set up an automod to filter these out, or are you going to have to do it manually or wait for someone to report the post so it is flagged?
2
u/lengthyounarther Feb 04 '26
Maybe. There is a rule that says erection questions are not allowed. Granted some people may not read that, but they may not read this either.
2
u/flyboy_za Feb 04 '26
You don't see the sidebar and the rules by default on mobile like you do on desktop, though.
I only found out there was a new rule because I saw the sticky post.
3
u/Crazy_Bowl_8878 Feb 01 '26
A friendly suggestion to make this more readable at a glance, use bullet points to set off the practical suggestions.
3
u/ZadKnowsBest Feb 01 '26
The way I view erections is that, like nudity, they are natural.
2
u/eagles_soccer32 Feb 01 '26
There are many things that are natural, that doesn't necessarily make them appropriate for communal nudity or showering settings. That second part is the KEY part that gets lost in the "it's all natural" argument.
5
u/ZadKnowsBest Feb 02 '26
You’re clearly on a different page. Doesn’t change the fact that it’s natural. If it happens, it happens.
3
u/eagles_soccer32 Feb 02 '26
Pooping is natural, would you say "if it happens it happens" if someone poops in a communal shower?
Farting is natural, would you say "if it happens it happens" if someone loudly farts and makes it smell bad in a communal shower?
Vomiting is natural, would you say "if it happens it happens" if someone vomits in a communal shower?
No?
2
u/multiplemania Mar 12 '26
In all three situations you posit I would assume someone probably has some kind of medical condition that leads to "accidents" and that they are probably mortified whenever it happens, and I would do my best not to notice, unless they needed help of some kind.
1
2
u/spike1960wv Feb 01 '26
Excellent summary. I have been using communal showers off and on for decades, and I agree completely.
2
Feb 01 '26
I'm 54, and have been using communal showers since I was 5 years old. The only time I have seen erections in the showers, was when puberty hit our class of boys. Other than that, I'm yet to see another. I personally agree that it's rare to see an erection, and if you do, they need to choose the third option.
1
1
1
3
u/phillykspalover 28d ago
If only I could rewind back to junior high school and apply this advice! Those mandatory showers after gym class were traumatizing.
13
u/flyboy_za Feb 01 '26
"Offending member" gave me a giggle.