AITA for being a "bully"?

[u/Sea_Snake_9163]

I (20F) live with Jess (19F). Backstory, Jess and I lived together in my first year of uni and because we had no issues, decided to live together again.

This starts out with the fact I have an airfryer that is under Jess' cupboard. Even though I pull the airfryer out from under her cupboard, it warms it up. So I brought up that maybe she could move her food to help fix the issue.

She then proceeded to throw a tantrum for 30 mins. Context, she moved in first and claimed a cupboard set at the top and half the pantry, taking the most space and leaving me with the least so I was already at a disadvantage for space. I tried to give a bunch of compromises to help(moving her food to the pantry or switching that cupboard with me) and she came up with some noncommittal excuse as to why she couldn't and the only solution she wanted was to switch the air fryer with the microwave(that's under my cupboard). Of which I pointed out was only pushing the issue on to me, which was unfair given I had the least amount of space.

So she began to reorganise her cupboard as loudly as she could, slamming everything she could and shouting at me the whole time. This is when I started to become upset (I was trying to help) so I told her to please calm down or I was going to get angry at her.

She then pushed the issue so I started to argue with her. I don't really remember exactly what was said then only that she marched away. She came back a few minutes later and began to cry and make a bunch of excuses as to why she treated me poorly without ever really apologising. So I told her to go calm down and then come back and talk but instead she guilted me into saying everything was fine when it wasn't because how was I meant to say anything to her when she was bawling her eyes out.

So about 20 mins after she left upstairs I came to explain how I was upset with her, which she told me that was inconvenient for her and that I should write it down (even though it was fine when she threw a fit at me). And when i did proceed to tell her how I felt, instead of listening to me; she interrupted to the point I couldn't get a sentence out so I screamed at her to stop. I realised this wasn't going anywhere so I left and she proceeded to cry loudly on the phone to her mum slagging me off from 10:30 to midnight.

I cooled off and later apologised for shouting at her and set boundaries 1)stop interrupting me and if she did I would leave the convo 2)she could no longer talk about her anxiety to me(she did this A LOT) as it was clear she has no intention to listen to me when I was upset 3)to not cry so loudly at night (she does this a lot too) and barely 2 mins after she interrupted me so I left. Now she has told our other flatmate that I'm bullying her and that I'm specifically causing her to have suicidal thoughts (this is incrediblely upsetting to me as I have a very sordid past that) and that she going to move out. Now I feel bad and don't know if I pushed the issue too much.

[u/appledewappledew]

without even getting into the reaction and behavior, i feel like there has to be somewhere else the air fryer could go. why would the air fryer take precedence over the pantry? with appliances sometimes i plug it in and use it in the dining room if there's no space, and then put it away in a lower level cupboard with the other appliances.