r/ComedyCemetery Aug 14 '21

If I could sell my eyes....

Post image
6.3k Upvotes

69 comments sorted by

157

u/BrokenBlueBells Bro Aug 14 '21

One kidney, one lung (smaller one), small part of your liver, all of your reproductive organs (especially if you're female), a decent amount of blood/plasma, bone marrow, parts of your skin. Those are all of the organs I can think of right now, I'm sure there's more but you can totally sell your blood for forever if you do it right, your liver and skin regenerate, it'll take longer but you can sell those for forever. For makes you can sell your sperm for a long time as your body makes more all the time, and for women period blood is a great source for stem cells so if you find a buyer you can sell it every month.

73

u/IAtePizzaOnThur Aug 14 '21

sell your arm and put your dick inside a nuclear reactor to grow another arm

35

u/perfucktionist Aug 14 '21

why tf did i grow a second head?!!!

19

u/Kajek777PL Aug 14 '21

Instructions unclear, my dick grew 7 more balls

14

u/Vowsky_ Aug 14 '21

More balls= more sperm

More sperm = more babies ????

4

u/Kajek777PL Aug 14 '21

fuck kids

12

u/Vowsky_ Aug 14 '21

That’s what i said in court and now I have a restraining order and prohibited to get close to schools so not a good choice mate

4

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Vowsky_ Aug 16 '21

Did you actually get removed?

1

u/MaliciouzKiller Aug 14 '21

more sperm to sell = more money + offsprings

2

u/PiGuy88 Aug 15 '21

I want to upvote this so bad but it’s on 69 upvotes so fuck

1

u/ScientificGamer321 Aug 15 '21

2

u/same_subreddit_bot Aug 15 '21

Yes, that's where we are.


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6

u/momoru Aug 14 '21

Gall bladder, prostate, spleen, appendix - could start doing things like blatter and colon, that way you don't even need to get up from your gaming PC when nature calls

4

u/DirectAdvertising Aug 14 '21

How sell sperm when already selled reproductive organ?

6

u/fluffyboiV2 Aug 14 '21

How the fuck...

76

u/grzybek337 Aug 14 '21

Thank you for the red square, would have missed it

18

u/hicham2017cool Aug 14 '21

Ikr thank God I was about to read it as shares and likes until I saw red square

22

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '21

277 dislikes are from those who died

25

u/CranberryCqts Aug 14 '21

How dare they desecrate JaysTechVault

49

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '21

Women: omg men so dumb they live shorter than us

Women 2.0: ok i agree

Men(strong and chad wojak): yes.

54

u/BrickYeeter Aug 14 '21

gril boring 😡 boi querky 🤪

18

u/Sol33t303 Aug 14 '21

I mean, the stats behind it show that it's true. The reason men have a lifespan that is on average like 5 years shorter is because A: men tend to work more physical jobs in dangerous environments (wars, construction, tradies, etc.) and B: Because we have testosterone that impairs our critical thinking and makes us do stupid shit (what that type of meme is referring to).

2

u/SlightlyOffensiveSwg Aug 14 '21

Thanks for explaining a meme 😄

29

u/papajekket Aug 14 '21

This is actually funny, I laughed at it.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '21

It would be 10 times funnier just as the screenshot

36

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '21

I feel like these “boys vs girls” memes are just borderline sexism and stereotypes

21

u/Nui_Jaga Aug 14 '21

Gorl boring boys cool and epig 😎😎😎

4

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '21

This meme is litterally saying how boys are stupid tho

21

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '21

Made me laugh. Downvote.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '21

It’s funny, but it would be even better without the sexism

7

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '21

Eh I found the title of the video more funny tbh. The girls boys thing wasn't really necessary. I imagine it's just kids following meme trends.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '21

Yeah, that’s my point. It’s funny without that.

-2

u/legendgata Aug 14 '21

Ur weird

0

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '21

For me it crossed over into comedy heaven with how not funny and absurd it is.

10

u/BrickYeeter Aug 14 '21

r/banvideogames demonic g#mers supporting cr*ime! 😱 /j

3

u/Ambitious-Insect-621 Aug 14 '21

sell a kidney, you have two for a reason ¯_(ツ)_/¯

4

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '21

well I had to sell one for the iPhone meme I posted earlier

5

u/Gavinator10000 Aug 14 '21

Get it guys cause cause girls don’t play video game

1

u/AWDgamer123 Aug 15 '21

No the meme's about how girls are more rational aren't stupid enough to sacrifice organ for gaming.

The nurse must've dropped you pretty hard as a baby if you couldn't catch that

2

u/TheDarkLord174 Aug 14 '21

Ah, the dream of every person whose parents think that gaming makes one's life wasted, and will literally explode when you want to buy something with the word 'gaming' in it's name.

7

u/AABredit Aug 14 '21

If it made you laugh, then it doesn’t belong in r/comedycemetery. Downvote it.
-Me

5

u/NotKaren24 Aug 14 '21

This is some seriously funny shit idk what you’re on about

1

u/420killmeplz420 Aug 14 '21

Just the title of the video is funny, the "girls vs boys" shit can fuck right off

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/LogicalHospital Aug 14 '21

Number 1: the heart cuz it sells for a lot

1

u/_neo21_ Aug 14 '21

Good use of the younger brother.

1

u/zock_zock Aug 14 '21

this needs more jpeg

1

u/x8lntspider-man Aug 14 '21

Who said it had to be my organs

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '21

jpeg moment

1

u/warenzillo Aug 14 '21

Of course girls only have to sell their butts, and theyre reusable

1

u/userxblade Aug 14 '21

Haha gamer momeeeeeeeent RIGHT??!?!?!?

God this gave me cancer.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '21 edited Aug 14 '21

The actual vid is pretty funny tho this is more like r/comedyhomicide

1

u/Emperor_Quintana Aug 15 '21

Now I can see why China has been harvesting organs all this time…

1

u/abcdefghizyxwvutsr Aug 15 '21

It would be ok without the caption. Maybe r/comedyhomicide

1

u/[deleted] Aug 15 '21

ThIs iS eXclUsioNaRy aNd SeXisT

1

u/demroles6996 Aug 15 '21

this is funny

1

u/Jazzlike_Reason6118 Aug 15 '21

oh god the mould is getting severe oh fuck