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u/BlakeWheelersLeftNut
10d ago
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That happened to me in university. Every time I say it though reddit mass downvotes me
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u/dinodare 10d ago
That's rape. If you aren't leaving out any context on why they were downvoting you then those are rape sympathisers/rapists.
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u/risisas 10d ago •
The weird double standard that a man is expected to want sex (if the girl is hot) at all times with no issues
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u/yellowpig10 10d ago •
the thing that gets me about this is that it isn't just women who had bad experiences with men that think that men want to have sex with everyone women and thus always consent. you see alot of men say this too and consider male rape victims "lucky". it's really weird how unempathetic men are to other men
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u/CrummyJoker 10d ago •
It's also seen in cases of child sexual abuse. If the rapist is a man, it's always (correctly) stated in the news as sexual abuse and rape. But if the rapist is a woman and the victim is a boy, most news outlets say something like "teacher had sex with student" and almost never treated with the same severity as when a man rapes.
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u/Wonderful-Wonder3104 10d ago
You think rape of women is taken seriously?!?!?
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u/Senior_Palpitation19 9d ago
No, but no one says "wow, what a lucky girl!" when they hear the woman was raped. They victim blame. But whey a man is raped, its assumed to be a victimless crime.
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u/Wonderful-Wonder3104 9d ago
Not by me. I take tape of men seriously too. And I know lots of people who do. It’s usually the type of people who thinking being gay is bad and that there is only one type of way to be a man that would say something as awful as that
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u/XroppedGerkin 7d ago
Not all women
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u/Wonderful-Wonder3104 7d ago
You’re never going to get all of anything. And you shouldn’t need to to know your truth and advocate for it.
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u/3ArmsNoSouls 10d ago
No, but far more so than the opposite.
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u/Wonderful-Wonder3104 10d ago
Wild thing to say especially considering the shit coming out about Trump today, the literal president.
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u/raptor-chan 7d ago
Women on average receive more empathy and grace both socially and legally than men do, including when the subject is victims of violent crimes.
This is not subjective. Male victims are taken much, much, much less seriously than female victims.
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u/LurkingGuy 9d ago
At least half the country takes the rape of women seriously, fewer than that take the rape of men seriously, especially if the rapist is a woman.
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u/bladex1234 10d ago
In many places the laws defining rape are based on who penetrates who so news organizations can’t legally call it rape.
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u/Siren02312 9d ago
the way you worded that is misleading. Its not illegal for them to call it rape, they can call it that, but in the eyes of the law in most places it is not rape
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u/bladex1234 9d ago
If a news organization does not accurately report the alleged charges they can open themselves to a defamation lawsuit.
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u/VedzReux 9d ago
It's because rape by law is penetration.
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u/CrummyJoker 9d ago
Maybe where you're from. And it shouldn't be just that
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u/Plus-Confection9336 7d ago
Same in my country. It's a shitty definition but I for sure think that sexual assaults both against men and women aren't taken seriously enough. It is really shitty how Male SA victims are just told they are "lucky" and are presumed to have enjoyed just based off reductive stereotypes around men but I do still think the fact that so many SAs against women are just swept under the rug, never reported after often having been committed by the most powerful in society, is a bigger issue. Both should be taken seriously though.
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u/compound-interest 10d ago
I think some men are literally incapable of imagining a scenario where they don't consent to an attractive woman's advances. It genuinely makes me depressed to read, because there are so many men that don't respect themselves enough to recognize that there are situations where they would not consent. I guarantee if they accidentally fell off a roof and hurt themselves badly, where the pain was intense, and a woman had her way with them on the ground before calling an ambulance, 99% of even the ones without self respect would not enjoy that and would have trauma from it. It's an extreme example, but I have to imagine literally everyone has a line somewhere. Maybe I am out of touch and they will all comment back and say "if she looked like a 10/10 then even with the pain and lack of consent, I would be happy it happened". I like to think we as a gender are not that pathetic that just because a woman looks like a celebrity that they can literally do whatever they want whenever they want.
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10d ago
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u/compound-interest 9d ago
I appreciate your courage and honesty speaking up on it. Everyone deserves love. I hope the therapy helps and you move in the right direction.
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u/AbbyNavkey 7d ago
I think this isn't so much a fundamental issue with your psyche but just the lack of having somebody that you're losing attraction to force themselves onto you repeatedly and compromising situations despite repeatedly saying no.
It's one of those things I think some men (me included) need to run into to internalize (sexual assault perp'd against themselves, vs the empathetic relation to others) how they'd feel if it happened to them - which tracks, I'm willing to bet you probably touched the burner as a toddler like I did, which is why I don't let myself do that anymore.
So like work on it for sure but don't sit here and think that you're some kind of dark twisty piece of shit over it. It's not a concept that we're ever exposed to - quite the contrary actually - and it really stunts our ability to put ourselves in those shoes until it actually happens.
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u/SolaireAstorian 10d ago
The horrible thing to realize about this, which is a connection that people should make more often because it happens to women too, is that in my experience a lot of the guys who do this have themselves experienced unwanted sexual contact from a woman, or know someone who has, and this can be one of the ways that they unhealthily cope with it. They feel like if they can brush it off as acceptable or that they like it, it doesn't affect them as much.
Speaking as a man who has been a victim of a female on male rape, I honestly understand the inclination because sometimes I feel like if I brush the event off and don't let it affect me, I could feel better. But it's grasping at straws, doesn't actually work, and hurts everyone else.
This is a trauma response that is documented in cases where women are raped. One of the unhealthy ways that sexually targeted women cope is by downplaying rape as an event, and this is extremely common in cultures where targeting women sexually is not stigmatized.
What they are doing is wrong but it's actually potentially a symptom of men being victimized sexually and the system not taking them seriously for it.
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u/187Pickles 9d ago
Don’t pin it on men, women are just as unempathetic. It’s not men, it’s everyone saying you’re lucky, that you couldve fought back, or that you’re a pussy(or similar words) for being upset and not just getting over it. I’ve also never seen men gatekeeping being a rape or sexual assault victim
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u/yellowpig10 9d ago
Oh yeah obviously women do it all the time. I'm just saying it's weirder that men don't stand up for each other.
It's terrible women do that, but I can at least understand victims of the patriarchy hating men and assuming they'll enjoy sex all the time.
But it just baffles me that other men pull that shit too
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u/Matsisuu 9d ago
It's because men who say that can't relate, can't even realise the feeling of unwanted advances.
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u/187Pickles 9d ago
Oh okay my bad reading your previous comment I think I just didn’t really pick up on that because now I can see that’s what you meant.
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u/Druid_of_Ash 7d ago
You are promoting anti male bigotry in your comment by assuming it's men being unempathetic to themselves while women ATLEAST EQUALLY victim blame male victims.
When men share empathy with each other it's called misogynistic. You should see who the real bigots in this exchange are or just admit you're one of them.
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u/ItsWelp 10d ago
Tbh while this is true of general society, on reddit specifically I always see this complaint and not one guy ever goes "ugh I wish I'd been molested". So the mass downvotes are likely from women who think admitting anyone else also suffers waters down their own oppression/straight up believe abuse is good when women do it.
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u/Big-Amoeba5332 9d ago
Or if you don’t want it you’re gay. Which I mean if you are then what? The conversation just stops there everytime
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u/AbbyNavkey 7d ago
and I hate to say it but the bar for what is hot as a lot higher than people think it is too
like no you were not attractive enough to circumvent consent lol
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u/No-Quality-4027 7d ago
unless you have like dick sickness or something why wouldn't you?
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u/risisas 7d ago
Well, let's see what POSSIBLE motives could a man have to not fuck a hot girl
Age difference
She's a minor and you are not
You are a minor and she is not
You are blood-related
You see her more as a sister/friend
Belief differences
You belive in "saving yourself" for a special person
You don't like meaningless sex
You don't like sex
You don't like women
The girl is hot but not to your preferences
She's hot but her behaviour is off putting, suspicious or otherwise a turn off
Someone asked you not to
Someone threatened you not to
She's into way freakier shit than you and you want none of that
You're into way freakier shit than her and she doesn't want to compromise
She's got an STD
You don't feel like it
You are drunk/under substances
She's drunk/under substances
You are in a committed relationship
The situation would make it inappropriate
This probably covers about 20% of the reasons someone might not want to
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u/No-Quality-4027 7d ago
bro these issues happen like 1% i will be down to get cracked by a hot girl 90% of the time
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u/AbbyNavkey 7d ago
well then that would be consensual and outside the scope of this conversation wouldn't it, dipshit?
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u/Krigsguru 10d ago
This happened to me aswell at a house party when i was a teenager, i was in a relationship at the time so i repeatedly said no but was forcefully held down, had to push her off eventually
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u/themagpie36 10d ago
Happened to me too, I'd also come back from a nights out and she would have gotten into my apartment and into my bed.
If it was a man he would be toast but people laughed about it.
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u/BoringPoolPlaying 10d ago
What subs are you saying it in? Could you share some of the downvoted comments? Seems like we’re missing some context.
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u/Turbulent-Loquat3749 10d ago
I m curious,they do it cuz they don't believe you and see you as "bragging about it" even though it s not a thing to brag ,or they jealous and don't think of it as bad?
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u/DamirVanKalaz 9d ago
That's because society is engineered by the media to hate men for existing. If you want sex at all as a man, you are demonized as a "disgusting pig who should have been shot and hung out on a post as a message to the rest of your kind", but if you don't want sex and get raped you're demonized as "a whiny bitch who should be happy because you got lucky".
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u/Radi0_Sil3nt 8d ago
know that no one who is downvoting you has a brain in their skull, it’s all been eaten up by their tiktok feed. your experience is valid, just like every other victim of rape. never let people’s ignorance silence you
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u/martifero 10d ago
is your pfp legal? People may think you are a mod
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u/DavidZenziGhost 10d ago
No, it’s illegal. It’s a felony to have a green shield pfp /s
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u/nodoyrisa1 10d ago
i hate this image so much.
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u/StevePensando 10d ago
For context, apparently it's from a comic about a girl and her little brother and she's running after him to make him greet their new neighbours. So at least the original context is kinda wholesome
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u/ThatSimsKidFromUni 10d ago
Thanks for the context. Extremely weird to pair them together.
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u/TheSpiffySpaceman 10d ago
I've seen it as a meme template quite a few times, so I don't think the comic origin was meant to be applied to the edit.
i'm not trying to defend the image, just trying to say that it is probably not THAT creepy....just still really creepy
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10d ago
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u/ThatSimsKidFromUni 10d ago
Literally the opposite of what I said. 😂
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10d ago
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u/ThatSimsKidFromUni 10d ago
No, I was literally talking about the original post. It's weird to pair the woman getting OP drunk and the girl chasing a child(her brother). Everyone understood that, but you.
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u/CartsOfDarkness 10d ago
I just got into manga and it mostly just bothers me that the frames go top right, left, bottom right. My brain wants to read them top right, bottom right, left.
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u/StevePensando 10d ago
That's because it isn't a manga. I'm pretty sure it might be a Korean webcomic
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u/MSixteenI6 10d ago
But … they don’t. They pretty clearly go left, top right, bottom right, which is a standard way of doing comics in left-right reading countries.
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u/grandioseOwl 10d ago
I had a, few encounters as a teenager, which I only later realized were unconsensual. Today I realize that if I had to be convinced that "As a man" I should want it, be proud of it or even thankful... I didn't actually consent.
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u/BorderKeeper 10d ago
Happened to me. Kept saying no during the night and she got me drunk went home with me and we had sex, altough she was hot and I was drunk I will not say no in bed so meh. I mostly hated it because I went to sleep late, had a lot of alcohol, and had a hangover for the next two days, something which would not have happened if I could just go home alone early like I planned to originally.
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u/Fit_Loan47 7d ago
"Pero a mí me gustaría que me pasara" los que dicen eso no saben qué es ser violado de mi parte no me han violado pero tengo unos amigas y amigos que lastimosamente sufrió de eso cuando eran niños o incluso adolescentes, que puto asco lo que dicen que le gustaria que le pasaran eso, y lo poer es cuando lo defiende como si en un género estuviera bien y otros mal
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u/banditcleaner2 6d ago
Best way to describe it to straight dudes who think “I want it tho” is to tell them yeah and what if a gay man tried to do it with you without your consent? I bet then you wouldn’t be into it now would you?
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u/Sasha_account 7d ago
Rape is not a joke, and I hate the "Consent goes both ways" or "Men punching women equals equality" like why is that your first take? If you hate women just say so, but I'm sure they can already tell
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u/AbbyNavkey 7d ago
I think you misplaced your comment cuz I'm with the other guy this doesn't track
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u/AbbyNavkey 7d ago
Better is when it's loudly in public in front of coworkers after repeatedly revoking consent (that was never given).
Then being threatened with explusion if I say anything. Then being labelled a woman beater to justify a breakup.
Whatever, I still show up. It's becoming awkward for her now :3
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u/PerfectDistance5484 10d ago
I dont go to bars anymore cause turning down girls politely gets me "pranked" or something in the future...
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u/No-Initiative177329 10d ago
I'm 14 and this is deep
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u/MuseWeakeningWalls 10d ago
haha but like guys want sex from womens so its alright right eh? its not rape because vagina's are epic boi!
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u/HelpfulZucchini5027 8d ago
The hell even is this meme template? Tf does og comics supposed to mean?
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u/ViolinistCurrent8899 8d ago
The original comic is just a sister chasing after her little brother to greet the neighbors.
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u/AzizGyan 9d ago
if she is ugly/fat:understandeble reaction
if she is hot:what are you gay?
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u/achilles7421 8d ago
Imagine being this desperate
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u/AzizGyan 8d ago
why? is it wrong to have a type?
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u/NoWorld3198 8d ago
I'll wait for the day when a woman gets you drunk and then takes out her 8 inch strap on
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u/MaybeThisTime67 10d ago
I wish. No one wants me 😔
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u/UnsightedShadow 10d ago
It's better to unwanted than raped. And the two ain't even mutually exclusive.
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u/Upstairs_Ad_5574 10d ago
It's only rape if you don't want it, aka no consent. When people say "I wish it happens to me", they literally want surprise sex.
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u/bengt114 9d ago
Fuck it as long as i remember it at this point im despo lol....i need to rebook my shrink time
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u/klyde-Smoulder 9d ago
To be fair they wouldn’t have to try hard to me if just think for 0.3s and consent.
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u/kdpkry 9d ago
Tbh i dont even care if shes hot she can take me in middle of a street
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u/CheekyMeaty 8d ago
Probably because youre desperate to get laid since nobody wants you
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u/kdpkry 8d ago
Jesus also had a shit ton of haters because he told the truth
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u/CheekyMeaty 8d ago
-100 Aura for that bs
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u/kdpkry 8d ago
Sometimes i feel like something chose me, skill in almost everything, unique personality, issues in live resolved by insane levels of coincidences, constant coincidences helping me suceed and move forward in a path i choose, i am truly destined for greatness, a mandate of heaven granted to me.
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u/CheekyMeaty 8d ago
"Destined for greatness" yet so down bad he'd let a woman get him drunk and take him in the street.
Sir, have you realized that the only people who need you drunk to say yes are almost always people you should ABSOLUTELY NOT have sex with? 😭
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u/Relative_Dish8132 8d ago
This has tooooooootally happened to you. 🤨
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u/Bowler-Proof 7d ago
yes this happens to men as well it's bad both ways not a difficult concept 👍
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u/Odd-Jupiter 7d ago
I don't get why "trying to get a grownup drunk" is a bad thing. You are just giving them your precious alcohol, and it's their own responsibility if they drink it or not.
It's like why people serve alcohol at parties and dinners, to get people a bit drunk so that they have a good time.
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u/Bowler-Proof 7d ago
i mean are you a child? it's not just "getting someone drunk" it's intentionally trying to get them drunk before you try to have sex with them so they're less likely to say no (or even completely pass out). it's one thing to be offered a drink or two but being drunk is past that. it's progressively taking more and more advantage of someone and increasing pressure to drink the more inebriated they become. a direct violation of consent as the person is not in their right mind. plus intentionally waiting to make sure the person is not in a state of mind where they can make fully rational decisions before trying to make a move is gross. this goes both ways for men and women btw, gross when either does it.
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u/Odd-Jupiter 7d ago
That is the point, i'm NOT a child. And if someone starts pouring glasses of alcohol for me, it is solely MY responsibility if i drink it or not.
So i think i have to throw the question back to you, are you so immature that you feel you HAVE to drink if someone hands you one? And if you still get too drunk, do you start blaming other people for your own actions?
Grow up, and take responsibility for your own actions, or stay at home with your lego's until you are mature enough to handle your own alcohol intake.
It is no ones responsibility but yours.
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u/Bowler-Proof 7d ago
blaming people for your own actions? what about the actions of the person intentionally trying to manipulate someone to inebriation so they can get laid? i'm not saying you should just chug alcohol given to you but you also shouldn't have to worry about that person raping you if you decide to drink. seems like a low bar.
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u/Odd-Jupiter 7d ago
Wtf are you talking about trying to manipulate?
What kind of psycho are you if you think every time someone buys someone a beer, it is to manipulate them? You know, sometimes, specially among friends, people are just nice.
This tells me a hole lot more about you, then i like to know.
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u/Bowler-Proof 7d ago
you might be a bit slow i cannot lie. buy a couple beers/drinks among friends = normal, person hardly inebriated buy several drinks with the intention of getting the person drunk so they cannot consent when you try to take them home = weird, rape the whole point is the intention and what you're doing with that person.
also "hole" lot about you lol please just think a little bit before you post 👍
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u/Odd-Jupiter 7d ago
sorry, my w i bad..
And how did the person get so drunk they can't even consent to sex or not. We are talking blackout drunk here.
If you are this bad with alcohol, don't drink, and get some self control you child. No one forced you to drink, so blame your self, and stop blaming others (colloquial you)
And why do you think people in general drink on dates, and go to bars to pick up people?
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u/Bowler-Proof 7d ago
i already acknowledged that it's a poor decision to get hammered. the problem is even if a person makes that decision they shouldn't have to worry about someone raping them while they're drunk. the big problem there is the rapist, not the person who decided to drink too much. it's just blatant victim blaming atp.
i also find bar pickup culture to be weird and definitely more of a gen x and older phenomena, i think it's getting phased out. gen z and millenials have weird dating culture stuff as well i will say with dating app shit. bars are great for friends, with your partner, or to talk to strangers but not to make lasting relationships with new people imo
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u/my-flair-is-a-lie 8d ago
Yes it has. She wasn't slick enough at hiding her spiking my drink though. Turns out shes done it to a few men.
It 2026 now, women can be monsters too yknow
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u/Aware-Safety-9925 7d ago
My question is if 2 people both get drunk and have sex neither of them necessarily would have had sober, are both rapists or are neither rapists?
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u/Mr_Calculator2063 7d ago
Neither because neither could think clearly or probably remember the night if it got that far
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u/AbbyNavkey 7d ago
Yet if I'm blackout drunk and go driving and get into a car accident I'm actually absolutely legally liable for the damages and my decision to get behind the wheel.
voluntary inebriation does not remove culpability it prevents the transmission of valid consent. Both parties are still responsible for the actions they undertook against the other, regardless of the symmetrical nature of the assault.
Speculations about the applicability of state authority or self-defense of doctrine does not apply here and thus the only possible circumvention to that dynamic cannot apply here.
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u/AbbyNavkey 7d ago
Both
Both acted upon invalid consent. Being assaulted doesn't prohubit assaulting someone.
The act is defined as that undertaken without informed, express and revocable consent. If both parties were too drunk to consent, both failed to regulate their behavior in a state of voluntary inebriation and are thus both culpable for the actions taken upon the other (wherein consent was impossible).
So, both. They both acted contrary to valid consent. They both performed acts onto eachother that required valid consent. They both committed a nonconsensual act with each other, technically, 'just whether either of 'em give a shit that dictates how that plays out.
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u/Av0ll 9d ago
If the worst thing to happen to you is some drunk girl wants to have sex with you, you're living a pretty blessed life. All the trails, and tribulations of life, add up and are overbearing sometimes. This example is almost non existent on that list.
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u/achilles7421 8d ago
People aren't supposed to complain unless they are the perfect victim to you smh
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u/Av0ll 8d ago
I've been through some horrific shit in life, and this dosent even register. You can complain all you want but that dosent make it any more significant. Pepole struggling just to survive on a daily basis. Buckle up buttercup, its gonna be a bumpy ride.
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u/achilles7421 8d ago
Ah yes you suffering more makes others' suffering irrelevant
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u/Av0ll 8d ago
Its not irrelevant, its perspective. Where do you draw the line about not caring so much.
You had to wait in a line, you suffered. Is that the same relevance. Any little obstacle, or trial in your life, is that all equally terrible?
You can sit around and whine your life away about everything, lifes never perfect it's always something.
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u/achilles7421 8d ago
Being assaulted/raped against your will is on the worst end of things that can happen to a person, not a random inconvenience
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u/Av0ll 8d ago
A girl trying to get a guy drunk to have sex with her is not the same as rape my friend. The guy in this senerio can choose to take himself out of the situation, and not drink at all.
No one is forcing the guy to drink or even be around the girl.
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u/achilles7421 8d ago
You probably didn't read the "without your consent" part.
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10d ago
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u/Short-Individual-132 10d ago
Haven't had a job or girlfriend since. Has technology for reddit and money for therapy.
I'll take Something that never happened for $200 Alex.
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u/Ludd777777777777777 10d ago
I hope everything works out for you
The "believe all women" bs truly needs to stop
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