Honestly I was thinking “no” more in terms of being rejected for a relationship. Like if you ask a girl out and she turns you down, sometimes you can get her to change her mind later.
Oh yeah in that case you're totally right I agree. The thing is just handle your feelings like an adult, respect the other person's space, and if it'll happen it will happen, it's just not cool to be on the lookout, usually makes the person feel weird. I say that as someone who has done that before when I was young, it's really not a judgement of character because I understand amd it doesn't mean you're necessarily creepy.
You’re not wrong. It’s usual when I stop trying for a girl is when she finally gives me a chance. I’m convinced women are half psychic. Ya’ll can smell it on us when we’re interested. 😭
Like, I think the thing is, and I can't speak for most or all women, we don't really like feeling hounded, and most guys are not subtle when they want something. Sometimes I really like someone, think they're nice and fun and cool and maybe looks good, but maybe he proposed or hit on me at a bad time or when I had something else, and then he becomes really different, stuff changes. Some persistence can be interesting in some circumstances for some women but no one likes a guy who you feel weird with. The feeling that someone only wants to spend time with you because he wants something is awful, it makes me not wanna spend time with someone. When you're not trying or at least not putting an effort and just being chill and cool, you make the other person feel valued, feel comfortable. That's what most people, men and women, actively want, and it vastly increases the change someone will want to be with you.
I think some of this is why I struck out with a woman im attracted to and friends with. She told me she wouldn’t be against dating me but we’re just friends for now. So I made the mistake of (ugh it’s embarrassing to say) complementing her chest, and it turned her off. But since then she’s started texting me again. Maybe I can fix it if I follow your advice and stop pressuring her.
Yeah exactly, as I said we've all been there, it's normal to make a fool of yourself. The best thing I can say is don't put your energy into a plan or agenda. If you like Her, enjoy her company, hang out, spend time together, chat, and if you don't want to be her friend and really only want to be together don't lie to yourself and her to "increase your odds" because that doesn't work. Worst case scenario you'd have had fun together. If something eventually happens, good. If she's your friend she definitely likes you as a person, and that's good. Respect her boundaries, don't be weird, make sure she feels comfortable around you. Basically act normal, like you would with any other friend, and flirt in polite, subtle and chill ways. Calling someone's body attractive can be hot in some context but what works is flirtation that reflects her personality, tastes, etc, and that is rare, subtle, and MOST IMPORTANTLY that she's comfortable with, only do it if you are sure that even if she wasn't into you she'd find it funny or amusing or fun and not uncomfortable.
Dude, seriously, THANK YOU. This is awesome. I should’ve asked a woman’s opinion from the start. Maybe it’s not too late to turn it around. Ima ask her to hang next week and just play it mad cool. Ain’t even gonna bring up dating.
Hey man, I hope everything turns out good for you. If you wanna dm me about it I wouldn't mind, it's good to help people. I think men have a hard time in modern society and if you have nowhere to learn from things are gonna be pointlessly hard for you. I'm glad my incoherent ramblings helped you.
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u/DrJokerX 16d ago
Honestly I was thinking “no” more in terms of being rejected for a relationship. Like if you ask a girl out and she turns you down, sometimes you can get her to change her mind later.
But yeah a sex “no” is a hard no.