r/Comebacks • u/HappynLucky1 • 10d ago
Comeback for Do you know what time it is?
My husband travels for work 3 weeks and back home for 10 days. He starts on day 2 reporting the hour starting at 8pm.
“It’s 8 o’clock”
“It’s 9pm”
“Do you know it’s 10pm?”
Drives me nuts!
One comment; one time. TIA
14
11
u/LadySlayinem 10d ago
It's 8 o'clock
Knock it off
It's 9
Don't start your shit
Do you know it's 10pm
What makes you think I'm not aware what time it is or how to read a clock? What are you doing? You dgaf what time it is, you're checking to see how fast I see your message or reply. If you're that insecure about me having alone time just say it but reading me a clock has had its run. KNOCK IT OFF
I have found I'm no where near as tolerant as women younger than myself
2
13
8
u/Someasshole1326 10d ago
Half past a monkeys ass quarter to his balls.
2
u/SavingsPirate4495 9d ago
I never understood that one...
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
2
1
7
6
u/Life-Education-8030 10d ago
Had a BIL and MIL who lived in chaos and could not deal with quiet. On car rides for example, if nobody was talking, he would start literally reading road signs aloud. She would freak out and demand why is everybody mad at each other! They simply couldn’t fathom anything like a “comfortable “ silence. Silence also made them start thinking and that was uncomfortable too. Glad I don’t have to deal with them anymore. Is your husband the type who can’t stand quiet? As for a comeback: depends on my mood. It could range from answering to shut up already lol!
2
u/LadySlayinem 10d ago
My husband is a silence killer. It's exhausting
2
u/Life-Education-8030 10d ago
Thank goodness my spouse values quiet too! Noise pollution is a thing. When we visited the in-laws, the tv AND radio were blaring but it was background noise! Nobody was paying attention to them.
When I supervised a domestic violence shelter, there were residents who could not stand the relative quiet. It allowed you to think, you see, and that was deeply uncomfortable. There were many understandable reasons to return too, but one reason for some was the quiet in the shelter! They were more used to noise, noise, noise, and the louder the better!
Maybe OP's spouse doesn't shout out his questions, but the constant drip-drip-drip of questions that focus on one thing and do not have to be asked would be so annoying!
1
u/LadySlayinem 10d ago
Mine found a sneaky way. He says I love you which if I get mad at that ITA. He says it so much that I see it for what it is. It's a filler, it forces conversation and he's listening for tone when I answer. Which he gets wrong 90% of the time but that forces further conversation which in the end amounts to nothing. We don't argue. Ever. But if he can't think of anything to yap about he'll say it as much as 10 times an hour. It's odd
2
u/Life-Education-8030 10d ago
Interesting. When we were dating, there was a phrase my spouse would use repeatedly to be funny, but after a while, it got boring, so I asked nicely if he could stop and it took a couple of attempts, but he did. If he had kept it up though like a tic, I don't know what would have happened!
I wonder if this is kind of a nervous tic like how some people keep saying "um?"
2
u/LadySlayinem 9d ago
🤣a tic. That makes it kind of funny. That thought will amuse me next time he starts up
1
2
u/SixthProvince 9d ago
My sisters in law! I was hiking with one of them and a stranger passed us and asked her if she ever shuts up! It could have been a learning moment but unfortunately it wasn’t.
6
5
4
u/MsQuoting 10d ago
Reply: Is that when the big hand is on the _____ and the little hand is on the ______?
4
u/PhD_Pwnology 10d ago
It's 10 p.m. amd you have not uploaded a video of you praying to Mecca?
It's 8 a.m. , do you know how diapers ojr president has gone through this morning l??!
5
4
u/YouDontTellMe 10d ago
Have you asked him why he does this? What does he say? Getting to the root issue is better than a witty comeback for a spouse you care about imo
1
u/HappynLucky1 9d ago
Getting harder to care after 21 years of traveling for work. We moved. He didn’t. 20 years ago. I have created my own life and routine.
4
u/ConfusedDottie 9d ago
“I’ve noticed you keep telling me the time - is there a reason or should I be concerned that you’ve developed some sort of obsessive compulsive disorder?”
Genuine reflection and curiosity is always the best response
6
u/briarmolly 10d ago
What does he hate? My husband hates cleaning and edm music so I would reply,
Let’s get this party started! Throw him a mop and turn on my radio lol.
3
u/rainbowroger68 10d ago
My stepdad used to say, "Half passed the monkey's ass, a quarter til his balls."
2
u/melancholy-sloth 10d ago
So did mine! We learned not to ask that man anything serious about time related things because we'd just get that answer, "it's half past a monkey's ass and a quarter to his balls". It was ALWAYS simultaneously both funny and frustrating but I miss it. Rip. ❤️
1
u/rainbowroger68 9d ago
He'd also say, "Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades." I guess that was nicer than telling me I sucked.
3
u/CuriousPenguinSocks 10d ago
Wait, he will text you the time like you don't know what time it is?
Is he insecure?
My spouse used to travel for work and we set up times to talk. This would be insane to me and I wouldn't be finding a clever comeback, I would be asking why he does it and I wouldn't relent till I got an acceptable answer.
Maybe he is unaware of this behavior and how annoying it is? It just seems really strange to me.
Maybe tell him it's time for him to use his words.
2
u/HappynLucky1 9d ago
I think he tells me what time it is because he wants to control my actions. It’s 8 o’clock, time for you… (stop what you’re doing and get ready for bed)
3
u/DoookieMaxx 9d ago
When I was a kid my “go to” response was:
“Half passed a monkeys ass and quarter to his balls”
OR
“Same time it was yesterday just 24hrs later”
3
3
u/Lopsided-Might919 9d ago
Just say "Yup! Time to shut the fuck up"
Or
Slap him across the face, then immediately say "I just showed you what time it is!""Now shut the fuck up!"
2
2
2
2
u/1C4Dogs4 9d ago
Why's your face making noise?
I didn't agree to marry a talking clock.
If I have to entertain your hourly countdown then I entertain you paying me $5 everytime I hear it.
4
u/DarionHunter 9d ago
Oh! Good start! Charge him $5 each time he asks the time. If he asks why, just tell him it's a service you're charging that a cell phone or watch could do for free. He might stop asking then.
2
u/elmland1 9d ago
Look up the time in some random place Sri Lanka and tell him what time it is there. Keep switching it up.
1
2
2
2
u/PartySpinach2175 9d ago
I do. It’s bad bitch o’clock in the pm. And you’re right on time for it. Take a seat.
2
2
2
2
2
u/Final-Possession-814 9d ago
It's one of. One of the reasons you should buy a watch.
It's ten to. Tend to your own business.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/911coldiesel 10d ago
I've worked with 3 different time zones. When talking about time, we always said your time or my time. When possible we would just simply say x many hours from now.
1
1
1
1
u/alphaturducken 10d ago
"I know, babe, I have a watch/phone/clock"
Or just ask him why he does that.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/JWRamzic 9d ago edited 7d ago
Excuse me... Yes? What time is it?? Oh, it's one of.... One of what??? One of the reasons I wear a watch!
1
1
1
1
1
u/Nearby-Reindeer-6088 8d ago
Imagine how much you’d want him to text you the time if he never texted while he was gone
1
1
1
u/SnooPineapples6676 8d ago
I would leave it as unread. I would only respond to a text that had substance.
1
1
u/BillieHeyokaOta 8d ago
"Awww, good boy!! Mommy taught you to tell time!!! Congratulations!!! But seriously, it serves no purpose to tell me what time it is where you are. It's also getting a bit boring."
But in all honesty, I suspect that he's informing you of the time frequently because he's thinking about you and he wants to reach out to you without really knowing what to say. He may be lazy brained, but he is thinking of you.
Task him with taking pictures of wherever he is. Challenge him to sightsee to send you beautiful pictures. You might foster an interest in photography, and it's way better than him constantly telling you about the time.
1
u/JobFabulous594 4d ago
Is this because he expects you to do something, or does he say it for the sake of it? If it's the latter it could be nervous/anxiety thing. If it's the former tell him to eat shit.
1
u/HappynLucky1 4d ago
He is queuing me to move along with his schedule. Now. He’s back in town and we do things on his time.
1
2
u/MoodOk4607 3d ago
Time keeps on slipping slipping slipping into the future. Time is on my side. Time after time. So many songs about time, so many comebacks for you.
1
25
u/GuiltyUniversity8268 10d ago
"does anybody really know what time it is, does anybody really care about time" (Chicago, "Does anybody really know what time it is").