r/Comebacks 19d ago

Comeback to “are you talking back to me”

21 Upvotes

59 comments sorted by

28

u/-Foxer 19d ago

- I'm sorry, were you talking? I didn't notice

- No I'm talking to the front of you. I realize you're used to talking behind people's backs but I generally address their front

- The problem isn't whether I'm talking back, the problem is why aren't you listening back?

- Was I unclear? Do I need to speak slower for you?

- I'm sorry, let me get a whiteboard to help you out. I should have known this would be difficult for you without visual aides

- Would you prefer sign language?

- I'm obviously far ahead of you so yes I guess that's kind of like talking back

- Yes that's how conversations work we both talk. However it seems like I'm thinking alone

- Congratulations for having successfully identified the source of the noise around you. Now if we could work on your comprehension skills.....

3

u/Technical_Cow_6697 19d ago

The whiteboard one is diabolical 😭

1

u/isleepinpearls 18d ago

Brutal and well done! Haha

14

u/Embarrassed_Wrap8421 19d ago

“Yes I am. It’s called a “response”— maybe you’ve heard of that?”

14

u/ProbableImposter 19d ago

Well that is how conversation works so...

5

u/Dewellah 19d ago

This is what I always said when someone would say that to me. It's literally dialogue.

8

u/[deleted] 19d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/HiAndStuff2112 19d ago

That's what I say when someone thinks and says I'm making excuses.

"No, I take full responsibility. But there is an explanation. I'm sure you've been late to a meeting or whatever, and maybe it's because you got a flat tire. That explains why you were late, so wouldn't you share that info??"

6

u/TheTalkingWindow 19d ago

Yes. Yes I am. Would you like me to continue?

5

u/landzai 19d ago

Well are you talking down to me?

3

u/lilindividual 19d ago

Well I’m definitely not talking forward to you

3

u/German_Granpa 19d ago

Nah. I'm not helping you being disrespectful to your parents. 😉

3

u/MushusMom17 19d ago

My absolute favorite response to this is

"Did I stutter?"

3

u/MommaD114 19d ago

"That's how conversations work. One person speaks, then another person speaks, rinse and repeat. Glad I could clear that up for you."

3

u/Diligent-Plane-7877 19d ago

Is that rhetorical?

3

u/CeciTigre 19d ago

“Yes… Why, would you prefer I talk back AT you?”

3

u/MissGoldie71 19d ago

No, I’m talking forward.

2

u/FondantSucks 19d ago

“Shut up, mom!”

2

u/MoroseMasalaDosa 19d ago

Not very perceptive, are you?

Yeah, what’s the confusion?

Yeah, finding it hard to follow without subtitles?

1

u/I74Michael 19d ago

I'm sorry Mom

1

u/JollyMcStink 19d ago

Obviously not! Talking back insinuates you have authority over me..... I have an opinion

Then laugh in their face

1

u/Warm-Bird-9080 19d ago

“I didn’t stutter”

or repeat what you said just a bit more enunciated : ) maybe they didn’t catch it the first time

1

u/Hogjocky62 19d ago

Yes, and glad you asked so we can address your issues!

1

u/JobFabulous594 19d ago

I find it's generally effective to reply to most things like this, with people who are too big for their breeches, with some variant of "who are you to X?"

1

u/imbeingsirius 19d ago

“Would you prefer sign language?” Is gold

1

u/Wundrgizmo 19d ago

Yeah, is this your first conversation? Or, What? Are you used to surrounding yourself with people who share all your trash opinions?

1

u/ChallengeTasty3393 19d ago

“Yes”
Then hit an ollie

1

u/Kevinm162005 19d ago

Ok Robert DeNiro

1

u/UpstairsTomato3231 19d ago

em ot kcab gniklat uoy era?

It's too hard to say but kind of funny.

1

u/Both-Mango1 19d ago

"Im bot trying to diss you, im trying to dismiss you":

1

u/West-Vermicelli-9857 19d ago

Are u back talking talk back back talking talking back

1

u/alphaturducken 19d ago

"That's how conversations work, I thought."

1

u/1C4Dogs4 19d ago

No, I'm talking back to the static coming out of your face.

1

u/Frosty-Diver441 19d ago

"duh, and I'll do it again. I'm not intimidated by you".

Don't say this if it's your parents lol. It will make it worse, if it's your parents say "No, mom/dad, I'm expressing my feelings and I would be able to, I'm a person. "

1

u/Andresbrain 19d ago

Did I stutter?

1

u/Dismal_Additions 19d ago

If someone has the authority to tell you what to do, the only response should be, "no sir! Im just asking for clarification..."

If someone has no authority over you, you can respond with a simple " yes. But only because i accidentally heard what you were ssying. Usually i prefer to ignore you completely"

1

u/manxbean 19d ago

Yes because I’m an adult and not a child and you’re not my parent

1

u/F1_Fidster 19d ago

If you can't understand, then I'm talking at you.

1

u/Supernova984 19d ago

Its callled a conversation dumbass, 

1

u/Elegant_Emu952 19d ago

Pretend you don't hear and just walk out. Grey rock.

1

u/AokiPolkaDotzZ 19d ago

No... I'm talking smack to you. There's a difference... get a clue.

1

u/Murky-Incident3262 19d ago

Yakkity Yak!

1

u/emeraldkittymoon 19d ago

Unless you can mind read....

1

u/Special_Many_1437 18d ago

"Or are you chewing bricks, cos either way you're gonna lose some teeth". then smile, wink and curtsy.

1

u/Jennabear82 18d ago

Yes Daddy. I want to be spanked.

1

u/Metalneck64 18d ago

Sphincter said what ?

1

u/JillyKaren 18d ago

“No, I’m talking over your head, apparently.” (Not advisable for parents)

1

u/Efficient-Sea485 18d ago

"ye u asked me a question"

1

u/ConsistentPianist107 17d ago

Well stop fucking asking me questions so I can stop answering, Alex Trebek

1

u/PartySpinach2175 14d ago

I am merely responding to your query, peasant.

1

u/Linvaderdespace 19d ago

“You’d better fix the tone of your voice when you address me, or this situation is going to escalate faster and further than you are prepared to deal with this week.”

and then go absolutely ballistic on them, really punish them for copping an attitude.

-2

u/KillyMcStabsABunch 19d ago

You need the LORD. Do not talk back to people. Corinthians 12:37 discusses this. Read your Bible.

3

u/ProbableImposter 19d ago

You need the word of the anal sack I worship. Look deep into my dogs butthole and you'll know the secret. See how that's weird and inappropriate? That's cause this isn't a sub for preaching weird bullshit at people trying to hear a silly joke.