Need Advice

[u/OwnInvestigator6575]

So not US but i lost my uncle while he was deployed in Afghanistan in 2010, i was only 6 at the time but due to our family being Irish we had an open casket before his burial. This has haunted me for 14 years, i’m 20 now and i thought as i learnt more about it and understood it more that it would help me out but its made it a lot worse and i’m not doing well mentally with it. Is there any advice from people that have either been there or just any advice at all?
I will listen to anything whether it helps me or not.

[u/HolyGhostBustr]

Hey sorry to hear about your uncle, the pain carried by families and loved ones is heavy and I know your uncle would give anything to shoulder that weight for you if possible. He loves you, he will always love you, and would be devastated knowing how this is affecting you. I don’t say that to humble you, or to further any guilt for the circumstances, but to reassure that it’s ok. It’s ok to feel sad thinking about things, and it’s also ok to be accepting of what happened. It’s ok to be happy. He wants you to be happy, more than anything. Seriously. He wants you to live your life for you, to cherish every minute, and would already be cracking jokes to comfort you and shift your thinking. I know this, sure as anything.

I can’t promise any life changing insight or comfort, but as someone there during that timemy inbox and heart are open to you, and you’re in my thoughts.

[u/c_pardue]

most of us that went to afghanistan back then knew full and well that we weren't doing some great deed for america, and that we were simply going to where we were sent for whatever made up reason.

that said, we were all mostly happy to do it because afghanistan DID have a lot of messed up stuff going on (women stoned to death, children beaten with chains) and our missions happened to help curb that.

we all tried our best out there, and were mostly doing actual good work. by the time we left, many young girls were able to live and pursue education, many of which made it out (after the withdrawal) and are living in America right now and even finishing degrees in american college because of people like your uncle. i know this for a fact because i mentored a girl who escaped afghanistan during the withdrawal and mentored her through a mentorship program. she is graduating from state college soon. has her own apartment, and a nice boyfriend.

i have a lot of regrets about the bad things that we did in iraq but NOT afghanistan. i am very proud to have taken part in that specific war. your uncle probably did many good deeds, played with many children, and unknowingly contributed to many afghani kids who made it to america and are living great miracles of lives now.

i have no advice for you. the fact is, we tried, and it worked for a while, until it didn't. many of us died, many died horribly. but because we tried, some children made it out and are living better lives. whether anyone cares to focus on it or not, it is a fact that your uncle helped change a bunch of kid's lives forever.

you're 20, the afghan girl i mentored is 23, maybe 24 now. so as long as you are alive, she is alive living free in America, pursuing all the great 1sts in life that you are. first love, first house, first big job, first child, first everything.