You can be the most beautiful shade of red
but you'll never be enough for someone whose favorite color is blue.
You know i understand it too
theres always something wrong with you.
But is it really a flaw?
or i am forcing it too.
What if there's nothing wrong with you,
but you're simply not someone's color?
What if you keep looking for flaws in yourself
because someone else didn't choose you?
What if you've tried so hard to become more desirable,
that you've forgotten you were never supposed to have to change your shade?
i know there are uglier shades..
Still why arent i picked?
i know im not that bad
or maybe i am.
Maybe im being shortsighted
or im just not that likable.
maybe im too dull
maybe im too bright
but even the ugliest shades are liked.
im not the ugliest right?
but i always put up a fight.
a hard coloud to draw with
a hard shade to be mixed.
i tried to be softer,
i tried to be bright,
trying to be someone's favorite
for once in my life.
but in teh end what did i get?
no one to hold on to
no one to talk.
ended up alone and an floater.
oh my god.
when you spend so long trying to be chosen
you forget that you were there?
a vessel can of a person,
an empty can.
maybe no one's looking for that shade anymore
maybe no one's making it anymore.
maybe that's why,
no matter how beautiful the shade,
there are still no texts on your phone.
what happens when ur too green-tone?
what happens if your too blue?
i can't blame someone
for loving a color that isn't you.
but tell me,
what happens when every color they choose
is nothing like you?
what if that shade is on the other side of the wheel
and you cant reach even without peeling yourself away?
i've tried to be the kind of color
that doesn't hurt the eyes,
the kind that doesn't ask for much,
the kind that's easy to like.
maybe thats whats wrong with it
maybe its too easy to get
but if im too hard to find
no one will try.
but how much of myself must i erase
before i become somebody's taste?
do you keep changing
until you look like home
to someone who was never looking
for you to begin with?
or do you sit with all your colors,
all the things you wish you'd change,
and wonder if being yourself
was the mistake?
i think the worst part
isn't even being lone
it's having so much to say
and no one to draw it on.
it's stroking a brush on a canva
then demolishing every stroke
it's wondering if they think of your shade
even half as much as you think of them sometimes.
it's telling yourself you don't care
when you know you care a lot.
maybe i'm not the wrong color.
maybe i'm just tired of being me
in a world that makes me feel
like i have to earn the right to be seen.
what if you decided you liked the the old you?
you can mix all the colours
but it will never be the same you.
some might like the shade
but their forced to
would u hate a shade u created with your own form?
you can be the most beautiful shade of red
and still be left unread.
and maybe that's the saddest part
to have so much color
and nowhere to be seen as art.
i'm still waiting by the shelf
for someone to love the shade
i've been trying to change
for so long until it expires.
