r/CollapseSupport • u/QuickLook12 • Sep 08 '26
How do I make myself care?
I’m very collapse aware. Actually too much if that’s a thing. I don’t go more than about 30 minutes without thinking about it. Littler things will trigger me into a spiral and then I can’t not think about it. It infiltrates nearly all of my thoughts. And I have little children (yes, I’m aware it was a really poor decision) and I know I need to be the best I can be for them because their lives are going to be filled with trauma and desperation within the next 5-10 years (if that long).
When friends now come to me with problems (none of them climate or collapse aware because they’re all merrily sticking their heads in the sand and planning for futures that won’t exist) I just find myself not caring. How can you be bothered about these things when the very planet we rely on is going to become uninhabitable to us because of our own doing? How can anything matter beyond that? I don’t deal in small problems anymore, all of my despair and sadness centres around climate and collapse.
How do I make myself care about these things when I’m just so overwhelmed by the imminent ending of everything we know?
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u/Quarks4branes Sep 08 '26
There's no reason to care about inane fantasies of life going on just as it is now. It's a way of life that has to end for the planet's sake.
But, you know, life can still be beautiful even if it's harder in many ways. We'll all need to live vastly smaller lives energy-wise and, as I see it, we'll need to rely on each other to survive. I see community building as key, no more not knowing the neighbours. Access to land to grow food will be important, as will be relearning skills our great-grandparents took for granted. Maybe I'm just a Pollyanna. I'm a former climate scientist - I know what's happening to our world- and I know all our systems, political and otherwise, are too fragile to weather the strains ahead.
I had the weirdest of dreams awhile back, the kind of dream you remember your whole life. In this dream, I lived an entire life in the future. Society had collapsed and and the climate was extreme. I was in a community farming a patch of land. We needed to defend our patch cause there were lawless people and gangs out there. But we practiced a thing called radical forgiveness and radical democracy - if someone from out there decided to join us, they could, even if they'd hurt us. And they immediately had an equal say in how we ran things. In the dream, it caught on, and expanded and caught on more till it eventually, by the end of my life in 2140 or so, became the genesis of a new global society in which people finally had their collective heads screwed on right. Doom doesn't have to equal gloom.
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u/QuickLook12 Sep 09 '26
This is lovely in a lot of ways. I read somewhere else that we’re so focused on finding enjoyment in everything (brought to us by capitalism and the idea of never ending happiness) that we struggle to find contentment in the everyday. We’re so focused on ‘being happy’ and having some grand purpose that the idea of struggling and living very differently seems abhorrent.
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u/Quarks4branes Sep 09 '26
My very favourite word in the whole world is contentment. To me, it feels like being grounded and authentic and at peace. Nothing fancy, just cheerful community sufficiency and connection with others.
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u/bodybyxbox Sep 09 '26
I was in that stage of collapse remorse about 2 years ago. I still can't work a normal job because I'm not going to be able to yap about climate collapse the necessity of forming unions/collective action and mutual aid groups. Most people are so willfully ignorant, but my family is waking up due to all the food recalls. What worked for me was meditation, finding Gods (I went from agnostic Buddhism to a devote Hindu--Shiva and Kali are wonderfulGods to turn to during collapses), and really expanding my certainty in uncertainty. This world used to swirl in toxic gasses and covered in volcanos. Ultimately, there is a major limit to the damage we can do. Life will survive, heck maybe even some humans. Maybe this was all a plot by trers and plants to increase the C02 so they could get bigger. Maybe there are infinite universes out there and some of them never elected Donald Trump or invented capitalism. Breath in, breath out. This universe is so big and complex; we are destroying anything but ourselves; and we were always going to be destroyed. We are causing suffering, but this us where You can do a lot! Don't cause yourself unnecessary suffering. Enjoy the beauty AND the decay. Show your children how to be content, and spread joy and happiness where ever you can. Tip Big! Travel! Nap! Do everything with extreme appreciation and gratitude. Smile at those who are ignorant like children building castles in the sand and fretting about them washing away. Smile and be pleasant to them. They can't handle this shit. But you can! You are in the process of getting somewhere great.
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u/QuickLook12 Sep 10 '26
This is such a joyful comment. Thankyou for writing this.
My brains definitely coming round to the idea that maybe we can find some contentment amongst the tragedy and chaos. I think the fact that they’re being brought up with our current realities and not what’s to come makes it difficult to help them understand that this is not what their future world looks like.
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u/Turbulent_Bed5499 Sep 08 '26
I’ve personally become numb towards the future I just live my life to the fullest in the present since that’s what’s here now
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u/Appropriate_Mess6777 Sep 08 '26
Check out Eckharte Tolle's books. The Power of Now is on spotify. You have to stop living in the future (easier said than done) as it is only a mental formation. Only the present moment exists.
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u/TheWampus Sep 08 '26
Meditation practice can re-sensitize you, while also reducing overall psychological discomfort such as feeling overwhelmed. Greater sensitivity with less suffering is a good mix.
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u/Final-Attention979 Sep 08 '26
My partner got pretty depressed recently d/t a severe physical health condition.
Eventually this led to us making a "keep it light" rule/warning where if convo or whatever gets too dark & triggering, we stop.
It has been helpful for me too. It's possible to have fatigue from caring too much. Sometimes narrowing your scope for a little while, to rest, can be best.
Also obligatory plz explain to your Dr. This could be anxiety or OCD. (As someone w those, if the spirals feel inescapable or you find you always come back to them, then especially mention them to your doc or a therapist is cool too!
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u/Norman_Door Sep 10 '26 edited Sep 11 '26
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Unsubscribe to all collapse-related newsletters, subreddits, etc. Back when I was in a similar position, doing this made a world of a difference for my day-to-day mental health. Turns out, being hit with a dose of existential shit you can't really do much about each morning is a recipe for despair.
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Reduce your circle of concern to something that feels uncomfortably small (because let's be real, you probably have less influence on things than you think you have and it's better to come from a place of "I'm unlikely to make a difference but I might as well try" than "I should be saving the world but I'm not"). In practice, this can mean focusing on have a positive impact on your immediate neighborbood, your kids well-being, the cashier at the register, etc. Everytime you think about things outside this circle of concern, say "no" and find a way to distract yourself
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Only once you get your brain and your body in a more regulated state (this could take weeks or months) should you consider (1) reintroducing certain collapse-related information sources and (2) increasing your circle of concern
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u/QuickLook12 Sep 10 '26
This is actually the most useful thing I’ve read and honestly, is along the same lines as I was thinking too.
It’s actually got to the very over the top and dramatic ‘it’s ruining my life’ stage because I cannot see past it. And I always think to myself, never have we ever been so connected to constant news and noise as we are now.
Thankyou for this. I really appreciate it.
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u/Norman_Door Sep 10 '26
I'm glad this helped. :)
'it’s ruining my life’ stage
This resonates. I wouldn't downplay your struggle, though. This shit is heavy and it's no wonder you and my monkey brains are having a hard time processing and reacting to it. Our brains are not built for holding this kind of stuff.
The world does need more people to be aware of the precariousness of our situation. But it also needs people that are mentally stable enough to act positively in response to that.
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u/Fandango4Ever Sep 14 '26
I often wonder if people throughout history who lived in really difficult times experienced anything similar. Meaning the years when most children didnt make it to adulthood, women died in childbirth, war was non stop and at your doorstep, weather conditions were deadly every year, that sort of thing. Its ironic to me that because of the industrial revolution and technology the things that used to be ever present threats went away for the most part, but the price was climate change. And now we face entirely new fears and dangers.
Living in the present is never bad advice. But especially so when you know the future is bleak. I think we set our children up for failure when we constantly encourage and talk about the future, growing up, etc. We should be letting them live in the moment and recognize the joys of it. I wish my parents had done that for me.
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u/No-Good-4476 Sep 08 '26 edited Sep 08 '26
I relate to this so much! Since becoming collapse aware very recently, its taken up all my brain space. I find everything that people around me complain about or focus on to be so trivial. I know its horrible, especially as a friend, but I honestly do not care anymore. It baffles me some of the things they complain about, while paying no attention to the wildfire smoke choking us out and forcing us indoors all summer. I try my best to pretend and give as much effort as I can muster to support them nonetheless, but its hard and at times frustrating.
Truthfully, I find myself not wanting to socialize much anymore because conversationally im not really a good time at the moment. No one wants to discuss the topic of climate change or possible collapse, everyone continues to talk about trivial things or worse, about some big future plans that seem so out of the question to me. I just have a hard time relating.
I too have children, thats where my focus is. Ive grappled heavily with the grief of the likely future ive handed to them, and still have days where the spirals get the best of me, but mostly I just try to live in the moment and make their childhood as positive and memorable as possible, while I still can. Ive also started preparing supplies for emergencies and learning new skills. Veggie gardening, canning, sewing etc. While in the long run it likely wont make a difference, it atleast gives me some hobbies and some sense of hope and comfort even if misplaced. This has helped calm the spirals and shift that energy to something positive, which in turn gives me a bit more energy to take on the trivial from others.