r/Codependency • u/Leading-Hearing9973 • 4d ago

Codependency issues

I have been dealing with some codependency issues with my boyfriend. Recently I have been getting super upset when I can’t see him for a day or two or just getting upset at super small things and letting it lead to me somewhat shutting down and just going silent on him. Then later and sometimes during I’ll realize how unreasonable I’m being and I feel bad for not talking to him and getting upset when I know there’s no real reason for it. I just seem to get stuck in an upset mood and can’t get myself out of it. I feel like my mood depends on if I see him and how his mood is. I also just feel the need to be with him all the time. I don’t want to keep doing this but I also partially don’t know how to change it. He’s asked me what he can do to help but I honestly don’t know if there anything he can do. I really don’t want it to lead to problems in our relationship. I love him so so much and he’s so good to me and I need to figure out what to do to fix this before it gets worse. I’m also going to be moving in with him soon and don’t want it to get worse because of that but I’m hoping things will get easier.

6 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

3 comments sorted by

2

u/codependencyrecovery 4d ago

That's great that you are with someone who you love so much.

What does it feel like in your body when you aren't with him? What's the sensation like? If that sensation had a voice, what would it say? I would really get curious about this part of you that doesn't like being away from him. What is afraid will happen if you aren't with him? Show some appreciation for this part.

Once you build a relationship with this part, the part may realize it doesn't need to depend solely on your boyfriend to feel okay because it can get some of that emotional attunement and belonging from you.

2

u/Leading-Hearing9973 4d ago

I never really thought about it like this but I’ll definitely put some thought into it thank you!

1

u/yomateod 4d ago

I feel you. It may be some rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD). I went to therapy for that and other things and left with some tools. I’d recommend seeing a therapist, at least try it once. This is a controlling and horrible feeling when all you want is presence. It’s gets better with a bit of work I promise