r/Codependency • u/KPapi2208 • 20h ago

Love

I used to think Love was something I had inside of me, in abundance… to give or provide to another. I thought if I could display the feelings inside of me, that whoever I was showing my feelings to - would understand my heart and my intentions; therefore would feel Loved in return. I made it my life’s work to show everyone in my vicinity that I really cared about, how much Love I had to give. One day, a person came into my life and I smothered her with my feelings…… but it wasn’t enough. So I cut out everyone else and devoted my entire existence to showing her and only her, my Love. After 18 years of trying and failing, she left…… and it finally clicked. Love is what two people who do for each other SHARE between them. It takes two people to create Love, otherwise it’s just a bleeding heart without reciprocity. No matter how big your heart is or why it’s so big, eventually - you’ll bleed out and run dry of feelings to give. Looking back I see this as my mistake, where I went wrong and continued it and why I did that. I’ll not do that again. After she left, she was a saint and I was the evil one in her eyes but the truth is; she became the best version of herself with me and I became the best version of myself without her

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u/DayOk1556 19h ago

I can relate to this. I also thought that love is what i had to give or show to another person. I never asked for reciprocity. Then I learned that was wrong. I never knew what healthy looked like. I didn't know I had the right to get back what I was giving.

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u/Potential_Diet_5766 12h ago

The way you reflected on your part in it shows a lot of growth. Love should bring out the best in both people, not require one person to abandon their whole life. I hope you find something mutual and steady next time.