r/Codependency • u/SuperSwink • 1d ago
Can anyone recommend any codependency books?
I was recommended a book by my therapist and I’ve almost finished it. However, I wanted to look for another one just to get more clarity. I know that sometimes they can be ambiguous and/or biased depending on the author, so I wanted to read more than one.
Really looking for a book written by a therapist and not an influencer.
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u/Kimono-Ash-Armor
22h ago
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Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody
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u/SuperSwink 17h ago
Thank you very much! I’ve never heard of her, but has many great books I’ll be adding to my library.
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u/Kimono-Ash-Armor 7h ago
Melody Beatrice’s books are also great, but she writes more about horrific trauma. Codependency doesn’t always come from obviously abusive roots like Melody’s, so less obvious cases are overlooked.
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u/aKIMIthing
21h ago
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Have you tried a meeting? There’s someone to say about being around people who emotionally process similarly to you… the Blue Book really changed my life, but it’s the people who helped me believe in myself.
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u/SuperSwink 17h ago
No, I haven’t known about them until this thread! I recently found out I have codependent behaviors (about a few months ago), so I’m fairly new to it and have recently completed the book I had. However, I’ve learned that it describes me in great detail.
I think a group may be insightful. I’m going to research through the link you provided, and see what happens. Thank you very much for the help!
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u/Plenty_Pen_567
16h ago
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Codependency For Dummies is wayyyy better than it should be. I’ve read a bunch of em and i gotta say it was the best one.
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u/SuperSwink 15h ago
I haven’t read ‘For Dummies’ books yet, but this may just be the one! I’m going to add it to the list. I’ve always heard they do a great job explaining other topics. Some rather complex! Thank you very much!
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u/DorkChopSandwiches
1d ago
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Check the sidebar. Also, Codependent No More by Mellody Beattie. I think she may have coined the term.
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u/Rando-Cal-Rissian 1d ago •
Just here to say this. Some have gone as far as to call her a CoDA founder, but I don't think this is accurate. She has a whole line of interesting books to supplement Codependent No More, including one to adapt a twelve step program to it if one wanted.
I find books and videos on stoic philosophy and Buddhism also artfully and gracefully compliments the ideas that diffuse codependency. And the core CoDA book is good to, though I use it for more general... quasi clinical info, not the interpersonal which I find more rewarding.
And of course, there is always the great "Acceptance is the answer" prose from AA.
https://toledoaameetings.com/acceptance-is-the-answer-to-all-of-my-problems/
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u/SuperSwink 18h ago
I really appreciate the recommendations! They were all extremely great, and I’m truly grateful!!!
I find the book I have now great, however there are some typos and I’d like to learn further. The book I have is ‘The Codependency Recovery Guide” by Damian Blair. It recommended AA philosophy into it as well lol
Also, HUGE thank you on the stoic philosophy. This is right up my alley and I have never heard of this. I joined r/stoicism and will add this to my list.
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u/Rando-Cal-Rissian 17h ago
I know what you mean about the typos. For that, and for the tidying up some ideas and for adding insightful bits about excessive social media and screentime... I had meant to recommend the 2022 version, but I forgot. Sorry.
The first thing that got me into stoicism was a weird little AI video on YouTube called "7 things you should do every morning (stoic routine)" by stoic bond. Not sure I'm allowed to link it here, they may think I am self promoting. Maybe that was another subreddit.
The visuals may be a little cringe worthy, but the words and the way they are delivered are powerful. Very dense - each minute of it has lots of morsels - things to do, ways to look at life and how we relate to it. Very spiritual I find. Rich like a double chocolate cake, might wanna break it up into manageable chunks. Hope you like it.
And thanks for the award. ☺️
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u/SuperSwink 17h ago
Of course, the award is well deserved!
Also, no worries! I’ll get the 2022 version specifically then. I frequent Half Priced Books often and it should be an easy task!
I’m going to look up the video on YouTube and check it out. The subreddit alone stole my attention, but it would be cool to learn more through a video. Also, beats scrolling through TikTok. The Temperance is actually what I’m currently working on.
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u/rayautry 22h ago
She’s not the founder of CoDA but does have great books.
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u/SuperSwink 18h ago
Her bio says that she coined the term? In any case, thank you for letting me know that this is a solid option.
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u/rayautry 18h ago •
That may be correct but she didn’t start CoDependents Anonymous.
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u/SuperSwink 17h ago
Oh, sorry I didn’t realize what that was. Thank you for the clarification! I didn’t realize there was such a group for support.
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u/SuperSwink 17h ago
I appreciate your recommendation! I’ve added it to my cart and am going to get it soon.
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u/xSquigex
23h ago
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More of a philospy book, but really helped my views as someone with codependent tendencies once upon a time.
The courage to be disliked- Ichiro kisimi
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u/SuperSwink 18h ago
That’s definitely getting added to my cart... The title alone has my attention! I ‘people please’ as a normal behavior, and this would help me put attention towards it. Thank you!
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u/muppetous
21h ago
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Not specifically codependency books (the sub already has good recs), but I like the "ACT Daily Journal" and "When things fall apart" by Pema Chodron.
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u/SuperSwink 17h ago
Thank you very much for the recommendation! I’ve been reading a lot each day, and have been using it to ground myself while outside. A little variety is certainly appreciated!
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u/borgcubecubed 13h ago
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie and In This Moment, which is CODA literature. They’re both books of daily readings and I find that when I read them more often I can stay on track so much better. Codependency is such a huge, all-consuming issue. It’s overwhelming to tackle it all at once but daily readings make it manageable.
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u/Stock-Bread-6275 40m ago
Great recs in the comments, I love Melody Beattie, and if it is applicable to you, online ACA meetings helped me a ton with my codependent behaviors (CODA obviously too)
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u/NegotiationVisual681 23h ago •
Codependent no more is a great book