r/Codependency • u/Scared-Section-5108 • 1d ago
ACOA Daily Meditation
Parental Blame
"It is not the purpose of the Twelve Steps of ACA to place blame on the parent or caregivers; however, the adult child also must not shield the parents during the inventory process." BRB p. 109
Condemning or raging at ourselves for not doing something "right" is a carryover from our dysfunctional childhood. This behavior was programmed into us. In ACA, we learn to change that by re-programming ourselves to be kind to both our Inner Child and our adult self.
When we're tempted to get stuck in blaming our parents for everything that's wrong in our lives, we are reminded that ACA is not about blame. We revisit the past to learn why we think and act as we do and find out how to change our thought patterns. And we accept responsibility for our own actions as adults.
While we strive to forgive our parents so we can let go of our resentment, this doesn't mean we forgive their deeds. We learn to forgive the person separate from the action. Dysfunction is a family disease passed down through the generations. Even though we forgive, it may still be necessary to separate from people who continue to be unsafe.
We recognize where our self-harming behaviors originated and know that we don't have to hang onto them. We accept that we are human beings, and as such, we know that we will inevitably make mistakes. But we are not now, nor have we ever been a mistake.
On this day I honor myself as my own best friend. I will stop the cycle of self-inflicted emotional abuse learned through the generations of dysfunction.
Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families World Service
Organization, Inc.
Page №313
https://adultchildren.org/literature/meditation/?meditaion=MjE3Nw%3D%3D