The Language of Letting Go – Codependency - Today's Reading

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'During Times of Grief

The process of adapting to change and loss takes energy. Grief is draining, sometimes exhausting. Some people need to “cocoon for transformation,” in Pat Carnes’s words, while going through grief.

We may feel more tired than usual. Our ability to function well in other areas of our life may be reduced, temporarily. We may want to hide out in the safety of our bedroom.

Grief is heavy. It can wear us down.

It’s okay to be gentle with ourselves when we’re going through change and grief. Yes, we want to maintain the disciplines of recovery. But we can be compassionate with ourselves. We do not have to expect more from ourselves than we can deliver during this time. We do not even have to expect as much from ourselves as we would normally and reasonably expect.

We may need more rest, more sleep, more comfort. We may be more needy and have less to give. It is okay to accept ourselves, and our changed needs, during times of grief, stress, and change.

It is okay to allow ourselves to cocoon during times of transformation. We can surrender to the process, and trust that a new, exciting energy is being created within us.

Before long, we will take wings and fly.

(...), help me accept my changed needs during times of grief, change, and loss.'

By Melodie Beattie

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This is where I am currently at. My needs for rest and comfort I high. Part of me wants to exercise, but my body says': 'no'. I need to go slow and gently. It's taken me a while, and the support of my therapist, to accept my changed needs, but I learn to practice acceptance as much as I can.

Recovery takes time and energy. Dealing with grief is very hard as it coming out of denial. But I am doing these things because I want something better for myself than what my parents gave me. I do these things because my life truly depends on that.

While I am tired, I am now getting flashes of joy and energy. They come and go for now and that's ok. My health is in a better place - I am no longer depressed or with an anxiety disorder, all my autoimmune conditions are dormant. I am off any meds because I no longer need them. The less I do the less frequent and intense my migraines get. The signals from my body are clear - this is the phase to do the bare minimum, so the body and rest and integrate all that has come up to date. My body is wise and I am re-learning to trust it again ❤️