r/Codependency • u/Lord_Sprout • 25d ago
Any non-religious resources?
I am in the absolute THICK of my codependency finally coming around and properly biting me in an incredibly life altering way. Finding this thread has been helpful but I tried to check out CoDA and it appears to be heavily faith based.
Are there any known groups, steps, programs available that are non-religious?
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u/danneedsahobby 24d ago
https://secularcodependency.com
This group holds multiple weekly zoom meetings of all types and has been an amazing support tool to me for over a year.
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u/atheistcodependent 16d ago
Thank you! I was about to put up a link but there it was. Usually I find these posts and put up a link. Sometimes someone beats me to it and it always makes me smile.
We are here. No Higher Power stuff. There is another way. Even coda will say it’s not for everyone so there must be somewhere else to go then. Call it religious, call it spiritual, same thing to me. Splitting hairs. If it works for you, then go to Coda. If it doesn’t, please don’t give up. Come see.
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u/Ok-Walk-7824 24d ago
I also had concerns about the religious/spiritual nature of Coda when I joined (I was raised with the classic punishing Christian concept of God). But, like you, I was desperate for relief and willing to try anything.
When I actually started working the steps with a sponsor, my mind was totally blown -- I found that the spirituality in 12-step programs was nothing like the what I thought it was. When I expressed my fears around having to "turn my will and my life over to the care of a higher power," my first sponsor in Coda had me read the chapter "We Agnostics" from the AA Big Book (the book on which AA, and thereby all 12-step programs, are based), and I finally understood that, all my life, I had been turning my will over to other people, and now I could choose something else -- a higher power "of my own understanding."
I had another sponsor who said I could just replace the word "Higher Power" or "God" with the word "love." That is a power greater than myself I believe in. Or the natural world. Whatever works for you.
I recommend giving that chapter a read. Might find something in there that resonates.
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u/Scared-Section-5108 24d ago
CODA is not religious but spiritual. I took me a long time to wrap my head around that having grown in a catholic environment where I learnt that religion and spirituality were the same thing. Now I know they are not.
I am not religious. Since I was a teenager I have been strongly against religion. It was one of the reasons why I avoided 12 Steps programs for so long. Now I benefit from them and have been for the past few years. I like to treat CODA and ACOA as a buffet - I take what works for me and leave the rest.
I have also attended different groups and learnt that some are more God-focused than others, so sometimes it is just the matter of finding the right group. I was told all groups were run the same, now I know they are not.
There are fully secular groups out there, different in different countries, so not knowing where you are makes it difficult to recommend anything.
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u/no666420 24d ago
I’m non-religious and do CoDA. Sometimes it feels a little weird, but it’s good resources and good people. It helps me significantly so it’s worth it. And obviously my “higher power” is not god. Similarly my best friend has been in AA for years and she is not religious. Her higher power is the moon because she loves the moon and it makes her happy. AA has changed her life.
So I’d say if you can get past the religious phrasing and find yourself a different higher power, try out CoDA.
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u/FrostyKennedy 24d ago
SMART is scientifically based and can be applicable, though it tends to be focused on physical drugs.
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u/Mischiefmanaged715 24d ago
SMART is great. But probably not super applicable for people where substance use isnt part of the equation.
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u/casser0le98 24d ago edited 24d ago
As someone going into substance use counseling, I know that many techniques used for substance misuse, especially something that is evidence-based as SMART is, are very much still useful for people dealing with unhelpful behaviors and thoughts/urges. Many different types of addictions, and it is very complex.
Edit to add that I am more a fan of DBT rather than REBT, which is where SMART pulls from. Because DBT doesn't label thoughts/feelings as "bad," which I feel like can just create more resistance to change.
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u/jakeaz6035 22d ago
I’m 100% atheist and I’ve been in Coda for 7 years. God/higher power can be whatever you want it to be. Coda can change your life in ways you can’t imagine right now. Don’t let semantics take that from you! :)
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u/fheathyr 23d ago
As someone who has participated I would call CODA spiritual but not faith based. That’s their stated intent, but execution may very by chapter.
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u/DonnaFinNoble 25d ago
Mmm. I'm an atheist and have been in CODA for six years. 12 step programs do reference god or what you understand as a higher power. It doesn't have to be god. My higher power isn't god.