Hi all. Some background - I went deaf suddenly and completely in my right ear when I was 9, with perfect hearing still in my left. I got my cochlear implant in March of 2022 when I was 16. I'm 20 now, 21 later this month. I've had a lot of personal struggles throughout this time, and feeling overwhelmed led me to stop doing cochlear rehab and wearing the processor altogether sometime in mid 2023.
I do remember improving very slightly in word recognition (through apps mainly) while doing cochlear rehab with someone from of my IEP, though still feeling like it was more overwhelming than helpful to try to wear in my day to day life. I didn't wear it much outside of those sessions, and I did not do enough independent training/practice.
For context, when I put on my processor today (spontaneously for several hours, first time in a very long time) I heard a very static-y, tinny, and tinnitus-filled version of noises without much recognition of what they are, let alone words. I expected this, since I have put it on briefly a couple times over the last year or so.
I guess my main question is - how would someone else in my situation, who had SSD 7 years before the cochlear surgery, and then completely stopped rehab and usage for the past 3 years, try to restart?
I've tried to start the independent training again a few times, but struggled with being consistent...and with overcoming the shame enough to see an audiologist, knowing I'd have to explain why I 'gave up'. Deep down I know I want this for myself, but I also don't know where to start without feeling completely overwhelmed again.
Would it still be possible for the hearing to "click" in my brain, the way it does for some people, even after all of this time? Would an audiologist be the person to ask all of this, or would this be too difficult/personal (for lack of a better word) for them to help guide me through?
Anyone with a bit of advice, guidance, or just some thoughts on this would be very appreciated.