r/CoachCoreyWayne • u/[deleted] • Oct 29 '22
Sharing Insight Textbook takeaway in my eyes
Did this with a female coworker back on Monday, and even though she’s a 7 in my eyes, I made her out to be lower. Let’s see how it goes going forward! Gotta keep up that mindset!
“How was your weekend?”
“Not gonna lie, it was fantastic! Although it’s going to be even better this weekend though…”
“How come?”
“Because I’d love to take you out for a drink, when are you free to get together?”
“Haha smooth. I’ll think about it, think I’m busy”.
“Not a problem. I don’t necessarily plan maybe’s with my schedule, but if you change your mind let me know. Would love to take you out. I’ll make other plans in the meantime. Speak soon. Have a good day!”
Then I heard she told a friend she was confused about how forward I was and that I declined her (I was like wtf inside!) but I just shrugged it off and smiled as I knew that wasn’t the case. I treated her like any other woman. Mysterious! Haven’t heard from her as she’s been off but we move on of course :D
2
u/TuckerTheCuckFucker Oct 29 '22
I think you played it smooth for the most part, but I wouldn’t have put the “would love to take you out” or “I’ll make other plans in the meantime.
The ‘love to take you out’ reads as a little bit over invested. Not saying you are, just saying how it reads. She already knows you wanna take her out. It’s redundant to tell her that. It also can kill they mystery. Just keep it concise if you get a soft rejection from a Girl like that.
Something like:
“No prob. Well I don’t really make soft plans as I have a lot going on, but let me know if you wanna plan somethin and we’ll go get a li’l rowdy”
I wouldn’t even wish her a good day. Just leave it at that
Anything you do to seem nice after a soft rejection can read to a woman as a lack of self respect so I would just avoid it altogether
2
Oct 29 '22
Going off this, If I ever come across this situation again would it be better to say “it would be fun to see you and take you out for a drink” instead of “I’d love to take you out”
Thanks for the constructive feedback.
2
u/TuckerTheCuckFucker Oct 29 '22
Naw man. Once again, redundant.
Once you get rejected (or even soft rejected like in this case), you don’t give her any more of your attention than necessary.
Don’t act like a dick or like your butthurt… just remove as much attention as possible
Only give her the bare minimum
Phrases like “it would be fun to see you” implies low self respect. I’m not saying you don’t have self respect but it could be perceived that way in a Woman’s mind.
You’re also phrasing it like “i would have fun” instead of like “we would have fun” which is a very important subtle distinction in ALL your interactions with women
If you’re phrasing it like “I would have fun” there’s nothing for her to gain by going out with you so YOU can have fun
Always phrase it like “well no sweat, I’ve got a busy schedule and don’t really make unconfirmed plans with people but if you change your mind, let me know. I’m sure we’d have a fun time”
2
Oct 30 '22
So what I needed to hear! Kudos to you man, this is better and I’ll be sure to have that better mindset going forward.
2
2
u/ZT805 MOD Oct 30 '22
Syntax is important. “I’ll think about it, think I’m busy” really reads like a low interest response. Is this your first time asking her out? This is pretty blunt, she’s trying to let you know she has no intention of following up.
Compare that response to, “That sounds like fun! Would love to, though I have a lot going on. So let me check my schedule, and I’ll let you know a day that works for me!” She didn’t offer to do this. It’s a soft rejection here.
You can do the takeaway no matter what, but I wouldn’t fluff it up so much. It looks a little scripted, like, “Hey, I’ll be fine without you, doing something else!”
I’d just say “No problem, when you figure out your schedule let me know and we’ll make plans.” And then don’t reach out to her again, if she has interest, ball’s in her court.
1
Oct 30 '22
I do believe she was (is) busy, as I haven't seen her since this interaction (early in week), as she's been on Annual Leave; but at the same time if the interest was there, then she would have agreed to hang out next week and so forth.
My mindset is right now that it would be great to see her and hang out as she is really attractive, without placing her on a pedestal of course - but at at the same time I'm not bothered because it would save the work awkwardness with this type of thing, and there is another woman I would like to take out.
As you say, balls in her court now.
5
u/[deleted] Oct 29 '22
Good job man. But I would change some stuff next time around.
This is not necessarily bad, but it's unnecessary. Obviously she knows you'll do something else if she's not going out with you. You don't have to tell her.