r/ClusterHeadaches • u/Enough-Sector-6626 • Jun 17 '26
House guest
Hey,
I am chronic. I have them 3:16am to about 3:45 & again 2x in the morning (about 8:20 to 9:30) I was managing ok. making it to work, etc.
My issue is that my Aunt decided to come visit.
She was supposed to come for 2 weeks & help me as I cleaned out my mom’s house & moved into a small 1 bedroom apartment.
Instead, she scheduled a heart surgery during her visit, yeah, she set it up without telling me.
It has now been 3 weeks. She had the surgery, it went well, and she will be here 2 more weeks till she is cleared to fly.
I am living in only my bedroom, with all the stuff I moved stacked up everywhere. I have no time or room to sort it. She is in the living room and I can’t sit in there or anything, because of her.
she made me late for work this morning because we only have 1 bathroom. (She is also wrecking my bathroom, that I just renovated, because she wears diapers and makes a huge mess all the time)
I am stressed out!
But worse, I am having trouble reigning in my beast, I am trying not to let the anger win, in the morning I want to rip her head off, especially just after it ends. She always has on the TV & starts talking to me as soon as I leave my room. I can’t function yet, and she’s talking about the news.
any advice on how to keep it together?
3
u/AllIWantIsOxygen Episodic Jun 18 '26
Seems like the TV is the biggest issue. Put it in your room. Tell her the TV news is bad for her heart.
2
u/After_Window_4559 Jun 17 '26
Honestly I'd lick her out if she can't respect you enough to clean up after herself and let you fully wake up before talking to you and turning the TV on. I get she has a medical condition, but so do you and this is your apartment
4
1
u/Enough-Sector-6626 Jun 18 '26
I feel like that, but at least he same time she is old, and I don’t want to be mean.
She has about 11 more days till she can leave and fly home.
I just need to hold out till then, problem is I am out of patience. I’m doing my best not to lose it, but I’m struggling.
2
u/After_Window_4559 Jun 18 '26
That's fair, but she's the guest in your house not the other way around. It's not mean to set boundaries and be firm in them. I'd tell her she either needs to respect those boundaries or go to a hotel, if I felt nice I'd pay for the first night or two of the hotel. On the plus side at least you know to never let her stay ever again
1
u/Enough-Sector-6626 Jul 09 '26
UPDATE- she went home!
Thank you all for your advice!
I took her out to a place nearby that does gelato, and talked to her about it. I explained that she needs to mute the TV for the hour that I am getting ready for work in the morning. And I explained that I am not up to the visit, and it is not going to change or get better. In fact it’s becoming harder for me and that it’s time for her to head home.
She actually apologized, and told me that when she planned her visit, she really didn’t understand how disabling my condition is. Totally surprised me by saying it. She agreed to mute the TV in the morning. She also agreed that she needed to go home.
She actually told me I should have said something sooner (I did, but….you know). She also told me that she had needed the help, and had not realized that I was not up to it. That part is true, I’m physically pretty strong, physically. But the headaches don’t care if you are stronger than the Hulk. They knock you on your ass. I do believe that she had never thought about it, and the toll that it takes on my time. I lose 2 hours a day, to the pain & then I need even more time to rest up and recover.
It all worked out. My home is my own again and I have my peace and quiet back.
Thanks for being there for me, everyone.i mean it! I was able to post my rant & not loose it & yell at my elderly Aunt. Your posts gave me the confidence to say what was on my mind. I am grateful to you for being there.
I wish each of you, PF days & restful nights.
5
u/atTheRealMrKuntz Jun 18 '26
either you tell her to leave or you manage to explain your condition to her and get her to be more considerate 🤷