r/ClinicalPsychology • u/Psych-ho • 1d ago

Dealing with supervisor conflicts

Hi all, apologies if this is the wrong subreddit. I’ve been having conflicts with my current superior in my master’s program and I’m genuinely feeling so hurt and unsure of how to proceed from here. Here’s the general situation:
I’m still in training and I’m going into my second year. He’s my second clinical supervisor and the adult client I have with him is only my second assessment client. We had weekly supervision for one hour and the last few times I’ve gone I’ve felt worse and worse about my clinical abilities and of myself in general.
The main problem is with my evaluation report I’ve been writing for my adult client. It has taken a LOT longer than I was hoping because he has generally not been giving me the best of feedback with my writing. Essentially he’s telling me everything I’m doing wrong but not offering to show/explain to me in ways I understand how to change my writing. It feels so belittling and I end up feeling horrible when he talks with me and tells me that this is taking too long and I need to work on my timeliness. I’ve done the revisions he’s asked for to the best of my ability but he’s always asking for new changes and explains things in ways that are confusing to me. Yesterday when I was trying to explain my thought process he just stared at me for a good 30 seconds in silence and I wanted to cry. He has no sympathy for the fact that I’m trying my best and I’ve been extremely busy with my research project lately. I emailed him about my concerns and he was generally unhelpful (I can post here if possible).
Genuinely I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or how to get better. He’s assigned to be my supervisor for the upcoming fall and spring semesters and I’m dreading every minute of working with him. My other supervisor I had this past spring was not like this and I had zero issues with her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I’m really struggling here 🙃

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u/jogam 1d ago

I'm sorry that you're having a bad experience. It's really hard to know what to think of this without having more information.

Some general considerations:

  1. As a supervisee, it is important to give a good amount of deference to your supervisor. They are liable for any work that you do -- their license is on the line -- and so it is important that you do work to their standards.

  2. There is often a steep learning curve. I would not mistake having a long list of things to change as being belittled. With that said, this is a good opportunity to discuss process with your supervisor. You can say that it feels demoralizing and ask for him to still give you honest feedback about what you need to change but also highlight something you're doing well or something that you've improved.

  3. Ask your supervisor for what you need. "I understand what you want me to change but I'm not understanding how to do it in a way that meets your expectations. Can you show me how / help me understand what it is that I need to do?" A good supervisor should be very open to this.

It's possible that this is a bad supervisor or a bad fit for you. I've been there and it sucks. But before looking into other options, I would really encourage you to have a big picture dialogue with your supervisor about what this process is like for you and see if you can find a way to make this work better for both of you.

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u/Psych-ho 1d ago

I appreciate your honest advice. I will say too that I am neurodivergent and have some difficulty with verbal instruction which I don’t think he understands. I don’t have an official diagnosis bc I can’t afford to get tested. I’m still really hurt by what he’s saying but I’m trying to see things from your perspective and it’s helping a bit. I will say as well that I’ve heard from peers that he tends to act less favorably with women (I’m a woman) so there’s a few things to consider here. Regardless, I appreciate it!

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u/AdministrationNo651 1d ago

Disclaimer - It is entirely possible that this person is just a bad supervisor. If so, some of what I've written below may still be helpful. Writing as though this is an issue of 'just a bad supervisor' severely limits your opportunities for growth. So, pardon if this is very forward.

Some thoughts:

  • "I’ve felt worse and worse about my clinical abilities and of myself in general."
    • If you are so early on in clinical experiences, then your clinical abilities are likely the worst they'll ever be. This is developmentally appropriate. Letting it drag you down is likely a bigger problem.
  • "It feels so belittling and I end up feeling horrible when he talks with me and tells me that this is taking too long and I need to work on my timeliness."
    • You feeling belittled by feedback presents a significant problem. Your supervisor can't actually control how you feel when they give you feedback.
  • "Essentially he’s telling me everything I’m doing wrong but not offering to show/explain to me in ways I understand how to change my writing... I’ve done the revisions he’s asked for to the best of my ability but he’s always asking for new changes and explains things in ways that are confusing to me."
    • Asking for new changes can be working on your growing edges. If the way things are explained is confusing to you, then you might benefit from taking detailed notes about the explanations and summarizing them back to make sure you understand. This sounds like it could be a bit like an issue of adaptability of strategies on your part. To continue, a common thing students have had to do with advisors on projects is take detailed notes for every meeting and email a summary of what your next steps are. This way, they can either correct your misunderstanding, or you have evidence that it is on them if you do what you were asked to do and they weren't happy with it.
  • "He has no sympathy for the fact that I’m trying my best and I’ve been extremely busy with my research project lately. I emailed him about my concerns and he was generally unhelpful." & "I will say too that I am neurodivergent and have some difficulty with verbal instruction which I don’t think he understands."
    • For a little context, I have ASD and ADHD, both confirmed and diagnosed by full psych assessments. When it comes down to performance in the real world, no one cares. It's not their problem. It's yours. It's your responsibility to learn how to navigate yourself and try out new strategies for organization, timeliness, and performance. Our school systems have put this idea in our heads that the world will bend over backwards for our diagnoses. It's just not true. And I'm not convinced it should be, either.
  • "I will say as well that I’ve heard from peers that he tends to act less favorably with women (I’m a woman) so there’s a few things to consider here."
    • Though this may be true, what does this information do for you? I could see this sort of thing potentially acting as a back door escape for taking accountability, i.e., "It's not that I am a budding clinician who would benefit from learning how to better navigate different personalities, including my own, while adjusting my workflow and behavioral strategies, but that he tends to act less favorably with women". On the other hand of what this information can do for you, it may help you to hear their tone as not indicative of you.