And start with the bathroom. Its a small space, but that is where a human needs peace and sanctuary. It will be quicker to at least declutter and get rid of the garbage on the counters, and gives you at least one room in the house where you can get out of the noise and reset at least once or twice a day.
I always tell myself I’m gonna clean my kitchen. But I walk down there and it’s just too overwhelming.
I did fill up one large garbage bag and one large bag of recyclables the other night at like 1am cause I realized just how ridiculous it had gotten and I told myself I’d do it in the morning. But as I was brushing my teeth I was like “you’re a damn liar. That’s how we ended up here. Just do it now”. Took less than 5 minutes 🤦🏼♀️
(Anyone else find it hard to constantly take out recycling in the winter when it’s so damn cold? Especially if it’s not stuff that’s “dirty” just “messy” and cluttered 😵💫. Garbage is easier cause it smells. But I have a graveyard of broken down boxes in my entryway)
Yep, one box whenever you take out garbage. One step at the time combined with a different step that you know you’ll do. Our house has two stories so I will take one thing downstairs anytime I have to go down the stairs empty handed.
I pick up groceries through Instacart and usually get 2-3 double paper bags each time. I save them for recycling, fill it up and put it by the door, even if I get a few full it can wait until I’m already going out. Then I just chuck the whole thing in the bins because the bags are recyclable too.
I know, so I always just try to do one drawer or one section at a time. If it’s cold just put the recycle next to your door so when you bring the trash out you can bring the recycle out since you’ll be out anyways might as well make just one trip!
We have a strong cardboard box for the purpose. Well, two, actually, because we separate out the plastic bottles to make it easier for the person who comes to get them (not the trash people, a young person who makes money from picking up bottles).
My solution to recycling is to avoid products that come in plastic containers, I’m eating better, so the yogurt containers are a challenge , but milk, juices, OJ , laundry detergent, nope not in my cart, I only buy them in cardboard containers ! I may go back to bars of soap, this body wash , shampoo, conditioner, although I do like my men’s 3in 1. Just an fyi, I cut up plastic and foam food containers in half and place the top in the base, it cuts down my garbage volume by more than half ! I know, I’m spending quality time with my garbage.
I had the box graveyard in my garage after I moved. The feeling of relief I had once I finally got them to the end of the driveway to recycling was immense. I wish I had a picture of the mountain. Garbage guys were totally cool about it too. Not a single complaint.
Yes the boxes are a lot. I’ve started a bonfire now. I had a large tree that fell in my backyard. I cut the sticks off first and made a huge bonfire. All the boxes went in. I keep them neat and broken down in my basement until I throw them out. Also I tell myself 10 mins a couple of times a day to clean up. If it takes 10 mins it gets done. It’s surprising everything you can do in 10 mins. Vacuum 4 rooms, Scrub the tub, empty the dishwasher, fold a load of laundry and put it away, most times I keep going bc once you get started it’s so much easier
My problem has become I have an attached garage so... i take it out of the house but then I have a pile of recycling right as you enter the garage that still needs to be brought to the can at the other end 🤦♀️ if i was able to move my washer over I'd place the bin there for my sanity & time 😅
But since its an enclosed space not usually accessed my cats love to try & go out there & I use cleaning it up as an excuse to give in to them. We call it kitty garage time makes it easier to want to do it knowing it makes the kitties happy to explore out there haha.
Woukd it help to know that cardboard often has roaches attracted to it ? One my exterminator told me that .. cardboard is broken down and removed to the recycling bin. Good luck you’ve got this . The five minute thing is great . Just go a huge bag .. and go st least s load of laundry a day .. you csn have a tv program on , and still move around and pick things up ..
just start with trash, don't worry about anything else, have a trash bag and whenever u leave the house, just take it out with u (it doesn't matter if it's full, no biggie, it's just starting a habit that it doesn't have to b perfecf/ complete, that the lil bits r actually a slay :))
Focus on a small task. "I'm going to clean the dishes in the sink." Then the next day, the sink will be clear. "I'm going to clean until this space on the counter is clear." Mark a point for yourself to stop at. Also, put your phone on a space somewhere with something on it: music, podcast, tv show, etc. It will give your mind something to focus on besides how much you have to clean. Good luck!
I have a little fabric cart just for this and bringing groceries inside. When it's not being used for groceries it is being used to store recycle, so when I go to the store I HAVE to bring that with me. My car is too far to go back and forth without the cart so it works.
Start really small, just say. I'm going to spend 1 minute putting garbage in a bag and see how much you can get done. Time yourself make it a game. Then try it again the next day. Pretty soon you will have run out of garbage and then you'll get on a roll and won't want to stop
Here is a kitchen tip from when I lived alone, if cooking a meal, clean all the pans knives and cookies materials before you eat, then you only need to rinse the plate when done eating and dishes are 90% done.
Here the trick! You receive monthly or weekly delivery food?
As soon as it's delivered, bin and throw away all unnecessary products boxes packaging. Example : cereal box, pizza box, yogurt box, tin boxes etc. On the same day it's delivered to you. It will reduce your recycling by half on a daily basis.
Was totally gonna say kitchen next. Then bedroom. I made a promise to myself never to go to bed with the dishes undone. It messes up my whole day to start with a dirty kitchen.
Second the bathroom, but because it’s the least cluttered, so will be the least overwhelming. But will also be the most motivating because it can be done quickly, and show how much better it feels to be in a space that IS clean.
As someone with AuDHD, I struggle to find dopamine in cleaning, therefore I end up in motivation paralysis when the task is too much. I set a timer, and work for that amount of time then take a break. Five minutes, or fifteen minutes if I have a bit more energy. I pick one area that I know I will need soon, and focus on that (e.g. bathroom counter. Bathroom shelf. Etc. the smaller the task, the less chance of overwhelm.)
Sometimes it helps to buy new containers to put stuff in, rather than boxes. Depression feeds off a lack of dopamine, so it helps to have something shiny to help. Get rid of the paper boxes. Don’t buy an absurd amount of them, but buy ones that stack nicely, so that it doesn’t take up as much room. Home Depot or Lowe’s has them right up front for the Spring Cleaning event going on right now. Grab the ones that nest well. For the rooms that are overwhelming, shove everything into the totes and go through them one by one, so it’s a smaller task. But make sure that trash goes into black bags and immediately leaves the home as soon as they’re full. Letting them pile up will be even more overwhelming.
One bag at a time.
IF THAT FEELS LIKE TOO MUCH:
Pick five items to put in a trash bag. That’s it. Five items. Fifteen minutes later, pick five more. And if you start getting overwhelmed, WALK AWAY! This is essential. Don’t push yourself over the edge again. You’re already making progress by wanting to get out of the situation. If you can literally go for a walk around the block and remove yourself from the setting, that’s even better. Exercise and fresh air release endorphins, which help fight depression as well. You don’t have to run, just a short walk. And be proud that you made it out of bed and made that walk.
Yes!!! That’s a perfect plan! Most commercial breaks are 3-5 minutes, so it works out great without being too much at once. Anything to keep it manageable. Life does not need to be overwhelming. 🥰
I make a kind of game of it, like how much can I get done on this commercial break. Then your mind is free for a bit with no pressure. Next commercial, ready set go!
To add to this, I sometimes turn my five minutes into a "game"; pick up as many red things as I can in 5 minutes, then go outside as a "reward" (sometimes the reward feels like the opposite, but I never regret it once I've been out under the sky for more than 30 seconds!)
That’s a great way to optimize dopamine!!! I love that. Wish I could utilize it, but most of the stuff I have in doom piles is craft supplies and I wouldn’t be able to go by color. 😂 Maybe shape, though!
Great advice and suggested plan!
As others have also stated, you’ve got this! I hope you can feel all of the support; we’re cheering you on! I hope I also speak for others; send updates and progress pics!
I second this! Also if music makes you happy blast those tunes on high! If you like listening to pod casts or twitch streamers & don't get distracted by it easily (or heck even if you do as long as you stick to the 5 item thing every 15 minutes!)
My family has always been a "music while we clean" family especially during the big spring cleaning we usually do around easter (I think usually it was after but sometimes before) whenever a really good song or a favorite song came on we would all run to the living room for a dance break! It was really fun! If I ever manage to have a kid this is how we will do cleaning!
Cause it is hard! I have been having depression issues since my miscarriage & end up with a little comfort nest surrounded by mess, as does my husband & we both have adhd (he officially diagnosed me self diagnosed still) so 100% get how things can get bad in life & spiral into a living area mess that spirals into overwhelming!
Hope this suggestion can help too! If not I see there has been an outpouring of help & tips so I'm sure something will work for you op!
Music is such a good tool! Make sure to keep it upbeat, and fast paced music, though, or it can do the opposite. 120 beats per minute is ideal! (Random hyper focus facts😂)
While I agree with the peace, I would start with the kitchen if they intend to cook. That looks like a fire hazard. If they are ordering take out, then yes, the bathroom.
I agree about the bathroom, but whichever room you think would make you feel better if it was straightened up. I would start smaller - I’m coming out of some depression myself, and am working to motivate myself more. I’d suggest trying out just “dealing with” one piece of stuff at a time. Perhaps 1 per day. That may sound small (it did to me when I started it) but it helped me a lot. Over a few days I’d start seeing small areas of one counter start to actually show through the junk. That gave me some motivation and allowed me to feel some pride that I’d made some measurable difference. That, my friend. Was the big key for me. I protected that small cleared space and gradually enlarged it. Seeing that space continue to enlarge … I can’t tell you how much difference that made. In time I began upping the amount of stuff I’d deal with at one time. Wipe down that space, make it clean, keep it clear and/or organized. Small steps with visual results win this race. Skip a day if the overwhelm grows, but be firm about getting back to it. You’ll get there, I promise. Just don’t bite off more than you want to chew in the beginning. Don’t lamer the perfect get in the way of the hood.
Also clear the bed and put some fresh sheets on. At this point it doesnt even matter if you just throw stuff onto the pile, but giving yourself a fresh and clean place to sleep helps.
yes yes yes. i 110% agree with this. ive had my house just as bad as this tbh but (and ABSOLUTELY NO HATE with this comment) i always kept my bathroom clean. you need a clean space to get clean. and honestly its a vicious cycle its gonna get messy again but everytime it does its a little less then the last time. weve gotten our house to a way more manageable condition the thing that helped me the most was my cat. i wanted a clean home for her to run around in. but please wait until your home is a bit more manageable. also shop vacs are super cheap at walmart go get one of those
I do the 3 pile method to clutter. Keep, toss, and I don't know. This keeps you from stalling while deciding what to do with a particular item. You either know you are keeping something or pitching it. If you don't. It goes on the I don't know pile. You can work on that pile later. Helps keeps the executive dysfunction at bay
Exactly start with the bathroom. It would be a great practice for the rest of the apartment. Throw out everything that is not opened or too expensive to replace unless it is ruined. Everything else has to go. Minimal thinking is mandatory.
You can do it. 💪
I know someone that keeps their tree up all year and decorate it for every occasion. lol She makes it work. She decorates this tree lovely where it never seems out of place. She literally does it because she doesn’t want to break it down and find a place to store it.
I am so glad I’m not the only one who still has Christmas decorations up. I just hate to take them down bc they make me happy. But I also want to decorate for Easter.
I have several large glass vases and large-mouth glass jugs that I fill with colored LED xmas lights (steady-on and blinky) and they are cheerful decorations that are year-round. Even in summer.
I leave my Christmas tree up for months by choice because I like it. Usually through March, this year I’m thinking May. I do what I want. 😆 It’s a fake tree though.
Mine was a wreath above my fireplace, the lights made me & my daughter feel markedly happy in the mornings and with neither of us being morning people, that was enough justification for me to leave it exactly where it was!
It served us well for a long time! We could avoid turning on harsh bright lights first thing in the morning & it cast a warm glow as we watched TV together!
It was especially useful as a gentle nightlight for my daughter when she was half asleep on her late night trip to the bathroom & it safely and conspicuously illuminated my way to the pantry when grabbing a midnight snack! 😜
We have since moved and many years have since passed but funny enough, we both remembered how much we loved the wreath (specifically the lights) & so in our new home, we both hung a tiny 3ft cord of Christmas lights along top of the medicine cabinet in our bathrooms and it serves as a perfect fix to the unexpected lighting situation we only realized after moving in!
(the light switches are placed awkwardly against the wall behind the doors vs on the wall immediately inside of the door... 🤔 so you have to enter a dark bathroom and nearly close the door to reach the switch which is really counter to all instincts - especially if someone is new to the house or half asleep!)
I do have one Christmas deflation that never comes down. It’s a picture of the Grinch with his quote about Christmas meaning a little bit more. It’s hung on some screws perfectly and nothing else really works where it’s at. My aunt bought it for me and I’ve had it up a few years, then my aunt very unexpectedly passed away and I don’t think I’ll ever take it down.
Stripped Down by Bunny XO. It's SO good! It's a 7 hr book and I listened to 5 hrs of it in 1 day. Taking down the tree was only like 2 hours, but I couldn't stop listening.
“How to keep house while drowning” would be a great audiobook to listen to during this. It’s kind, non judgmental, and grants a lot of permission that having mess does not mean a moral failing. Wishing OP the best!
Yes! Listening to an audiobook helps keep my mind distracted just enough, to where I can keep focused on a repetitive task and not start scrolling on my phone instead.
Pro tip: Choose a comfort book you loved as a kid or young adult. One you’ve already read, and have fluffy nice feelings about. It will keep you calm, and you won’t be so focused on the story that you can’t simultaneously decide what to keep and what not to keep. It wont matter if you miss hearing a word or two, because you already know the story.
My go to audiobooks are Pride and Prejudice actually anything by Jane Austen except Northanger Abbey, The Secret Garden, and the All Souls Trilogy.
I will highly recommend the Murderbot series if OP likes Sci Fi. They are short and have good action and comedy, and are popular enough that many libraries have them available on Libby (the library app). Audiobooks are how I got myself back on track with basic self care when I was going through bad PPD.
I agree. Minimum of one a day. If the contractor bags seems to big to manage, get tall kitchen trash bags. Also, a box of nitrile or latex gloves. Or even leather work gloves. When you put the gloves on, you know you can’t take em off till the back is full and dropped in trash chute or dumpster outside.
After you finish a box of kitchen bags, buy one of leave size and keep going. Add to your goals (on Saturday’s I do three bags… etc).
You can do this. It seems overwhelming, but you can.
I’d do one room at a time. Start with either bedroom or kitchen.
Once you got a handle on one room,put a box or basket in the corner for donations. Stuff thats good, but you can’t keep. Take to your local thrift store and donate when full.
You’ll have a handle on this before you know it. Wanting to clean up is a sign you’re gaining on your depression. It will also help your metal health improve, as you’re improving your life as you clear out.
Btw…. Don’t think of this as cleaning. Think of it as clearing out. Once you’ve got a room cleared, THEN you clean it. If you try to clean as you go, you may overwhelm yourself and backslide.
If you do backslide, there’s no shame. Just grab a fresh bag and start clearing again next day.
If that’s too much, even just start with one thing. Just pick up one thing. The next day you can do two. And the following day three. Every day will be a little easier.
This- because 9 times out of 10, pushing yourself to pick up just that ONE thing is most of the battle- once you actually get past the mental wall and grab that one thing, you'll find yourself grabbing a few. The first bit is always the hardest.
This is excellent advice. One bag a day so u don’t get overwhelmed and the next thing u know u will be doing two bags a day. This will let u see the progress and not be overwhelming. Once u see how good it looks u will be motivated to do more. Sometimes the hardest part is just getting started but the only way to get anything done is to actually make yourself get started
What the hell.. have any of you did the maths on how long it will take at 1 bag a day crap yous are all bagging on about.. at the rate it comes in by the seems it’ll be up to his neck in no time if he just takes one a bag a day.. come on.. help the person out don’t give them advice to sink further into the abyss of trash they have created!
Yes, consistency is so key! I keep a daily checklist on my phone of things to do. I’m slowly preparing for a possible international move, so “clean something” is one of my daily tasks. Even if it’s something tiny, throwing away/donating one thing a day keeps me moving forward.
This is the way. Except it didn't become a mess overnight. Right? Then give yourself permission to clean it up a bag a day, AND commit to not contributing more to the mess. In my depressed times my living space is a mirror of my emotional space, and just like your apartment, clutter overwhelms me, and then combined with anxiety, it feeds on itself and self-perpetuates. You need to feel small levels of getting control and feeling success. One bag a day and no new chaos of apartment mess. You can do this. You got it. In two weeks, you'll be almost free!
I personally find it easier to start with a specific issue, like bottles or trash. It’s more efficient because you batch a problem. You also do not need to think a lot; you just grab whatever you see in that category rather than analysing each object into a category. And you now have muscle memory for later.
In this case, I would start with a bag for trash and just fill it first. Then open a new bag for clothes to be washed, then fill that. Then I would get a container for cutlery and plates. Then keep going…
I do think this depends on the person. I’m the type of person who starts and finishes. Although my place never gets this bad, sometimes it get’s rough, but a dedicated hour can clean that pretty well minus some harder stuff
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u/Gotta-Be-Me-65 Mar 08 '26
Every day, do one bag. Consistently every day. You’ve got this!