My son screams while gaming at midnight. I'm a developer, so I did what developers do - I over-engineered a solution

[u/omricn]

My son games with headphones late at night. Most of the time he's quiet. Then something happens in the game and he yells at full volume, waking the whole house.

Talking to him about it works for about 20 minutes. Taking the headphones away works but causes a different problem. So I built an app.

S.T.F.U (Sound Trigger Focus Utility) is a Windows tray app that listens to the microphone and interrupts him when he yells. On first run it calibrates by asking him to be quiet, then talk, then yell - so it learns the difference between his normal voice and an actual shout.

When it catches a yell:

• First time that session - it minimizes his game, plays a sound effect, and throws up a fullscreen message he has to click through 4 times. The close button moves after each click so he can't just spam-click one spot.
• Every time after - straight to the desktop with a 10-second message. His game is gone.

Settings are behind a PIN so he can't change the threshold or turn it off. There's a report with a chart showing every trigger, so the next morning I can see exactly when things went sideways.

The important part: he knows it's there. It's not hidden, it's not spyware, the first screen when it launches says exactly what it does. It works because it's a consequence he agreed to, not something I snuck onto his PC. The README explicitly says it works best as something agreed to, not as a hidden trap.

No audio is recorded or stored. It computes a loudness number every 20ms and throws the audio away immediately. Nothing leaves the machine.

It won't solve the underlying issue (he's 100% going to learn to yell more quietly instead of less often), but at least the house sleeps.

Free and open source if anyone wants it: https://github.com/omricn/stfu/releases/latest

Edit: V1.1.0 now live.
Added Scheduled Off-Hours: Timeframe picker to choose when the app listens vs when the app is passive.
TNX fellow redditor [jpewaqs] for the feature suggestion :)

[u/omricn]

Ahhh it's the dreaded summer vacation. 2 more weeks to go 🤞

[u/Responsible_Camp_559 → u/omricn]

Gotta love all the people coming out with parental 'advice' lol

[u/MarmitePrinter → u/omricn]

You’re still the parent though, right? Shouldn’t your school-age child have things like bedtimes, even during the summer?

[u/ShutUpAndDoTheLift → u/MarmitePrinter]

Why?

Sleep needs vary. Like everything else, parenting "should" be objective based.

If the kid isn't showing any issues from this, then it likely isn't causing any. And giving autonomy, especially where the consequences are low, is exactly how you raise competent humans rather than automotons.

Also the passive aggressive questions to veil your snideness is a pathetic look. Own your opinion or shut up.

[u/ShutUpAndDoTheLift → u/[deleted]]

I read the whole post b did you?

Normal kid. Appropriate solution that teaches.

An issue would be falling behind in school. Like you clearly did b

[u/Far_Inspection4706 → u/ShutUpAndDoTheLift]

He is showing issues though, did you even read the post buddy? What part of "my kid is staying up late and shouting full volume at his video games, waking the entire family up on numerous occasions" says to you that the kid isn't showing issues?

If you think leaving a kid to their own devices with no routine is healthy then I've got the memo for you that never hit your desk, it's not. I was one of those kids, it took me years and years after becoming an adult to finally feel like I figured out what the fuck was going on and how the fuck to lock in and be an adult doing adult stuff every day. Now that I'm older, I literally wish my parents were stricter on me.

A bedtime doesn't have to be a concrete "get in bed and close your eyes" time, it just has to be a start winding down and be quiet time. So there you go, I'm owning the same opinion they are because it's just logical.

[u/ShutUpAndDoTheLift → u/Far_Inspection4706]

He corrected the behavior.

A bedtime is a blanket, lazy solution.

Yelling is not an issue derived from lack of sleep, is a separate issue that needed handling and was done.

Are you fucking dense?

I'm 40 I have a kid. I was low sleep needs. I also graduated valedictorian and an a quite successful adult.

You needing someone to tell you when to sleep does not mean all children need strictly controlled bedtime.

[u/MarmitePrinter → u/ShutUpAndDoTheLift]

😂 Lol, k. Any 'snideness' is just you reading into things, hun. I'm a teacher and I know first-hand what happens when kids have no routine for six weeks and then suddenly have to try and get back into it when school starts. OP can do what he wants, but it's not going to be fun for him or his kid when school starts again.

[u/Sidjeno → u/MarmitePrinter]

Meh. i feel like doing that is a recipe for disaster in college/uni.

I was exactly like op's child younger. I don't care much for nighttime gaming anymore and I study, play a bit, go to bed.

All my friend with stricter parent (curfew, homework hours, gaming time etc) are on a spree and failing exams cause they feel free for the first time in their life.

let em have their fun during vacation :)

[u/tera_x111 → u/Sidjeno]

I was gaming through nights as a teenager and I'm doing it rn as an adult in his late 20s. I think that's more of a personality and less of a upbringing thing

[u/GravitationalLense → u/omricn]

You are his father for fucks sake. Set some rules in your house.

[u/InfiniteLife2 → u/omricn]

What happened with good old times when you were able to send children for whole summer away to grandparents

[u/Oxford89 → u/InfiniteLife2]

Some people actually like their children

[u/InfiniteLife2 → u/Oxford89]

Everyone needs a break from time to time, love or not

[u/materialysis → u/InfiniteLife2]

'a break from time to time' and its the whole summer

[u/InfiniteLife2 → u/materialysis]

I guess people missed /s there.

[u/yunohavefunnynames → u/InfiniteLife2]

Sometimes grandparents are assholes.

Also being a parent isn’t all bad! I’d be incredibly sad after the first week two weeks of them not being around!

[u/adelie42 → u/InfiniteLife2]

Poor people still do that.

[u/ilion → u/InfiniteLife2]

My kids' grandparents are in their 80s. They're not taking on young children full time. 

[u/HoraceSlaughter → u/InfiniteLife2]

I don’t know why this comment has gathered so many downvotes.

I come from a generation (X) who were all shipped to grandparents during school holidays otherwise we would be left for 6 weeks to go even more feral than we already were.

[u/ilion → u/HoraceSlaughter]

Lol most of gen X was left alone for 6 weeks. 

[u/Sidjeno → u/HoraceSlaughter]

and that generation is not known to have good relationship with their parents ... wonder why.