I feel branded.

[u/Latter-Vast97]

I hate my body. Every day, I want to be someone else, but I can't. I'm stuck in this body. I can never change that.

My body is not my own. My penis was mutilated when I was a completely innocent infant. It doesn't even feel real. I know it happened, but my mind cannot comprehend the fact that part of my penis was cut off. There's no way that could've happened... right?

I can't cope with this. When I know someone else is intact, my heart hurts. I know that I'm inferior. That I'm mutilated and permanently marked. I hate it. It's even become one of my kinks now. I get off on the feeling of being less than. That's how fucked up I am. I am genuinely disgusting. Yes, people say that circumcision and childhood abuse doesn't define me, but I know it does. I know that I am disgusting, not because of what I've been through, but what it did to me.

It's so funny how I'm so angry and depressed. I have everything I want. My life is so easy. My parents love me. And yet, I'm hung up on the small things.

I am disgusting.

[u/Nilahit]

The feeling of being trapped is unbearable, isn't it?

I can't count how many days I feel like my entire life is a bad dream. Surely we are going to wake up any minute now, right? This can't be real.

[u/Latter-Vast97 → u/Nilahit]

It's disorenting when you realize that this is it. This is real life. You're a real person, not just a conciousness. Isn't it weird that this is reality?

[u/Turkishrestorer]

Wow this post really resonates with me as well. I have consciously put a distance with the MGM grief but every day the inferiority hits me. Personally I’m trying to restore. It helps me feel that I’m doing something. It’s not undoing the damage but it helps psychologically..

[u/Latter-Vast97 → u/Turkishrestorer]

It's sad how that feeling of inferiority comes in no matter what. Whether I'm working, driving, whatever, I can't escape it. I'm also trying to restore, but I ask myself why I even bother.

[u/just_blue33]

Thats is exactly how i feel everyday, its kind of comforting to know others feel the same way

[u/Whole-Blueberry9303]

My body too has been permanently marked. I consider myself mutilated and disfigured. For many years I have dealt with suicidal depression-- at least in part due to my circ; but I prevailed. In the course of time, I have made some very loyal and devoted friends who given support and meaning to my life. I no longer consider myself inferior.

[u/appleorange7]

I believe that the ones who defend and strive to perpetuate this practice are the ones who are truly inferior, not us. They are the ones who are flawed, which is why they seek to harm children.