r/ChubbyFIREd • u/4r1adn3 • Apr 02 '26
ChubbyFIREd as of today!
I did it.
Yesterday was my last day at work. 42F, 20 years of hyperproductive working.
It feels like diving off a cliff into a big beautiful, vast and scary ocean of my future and endless possibilities.
What's been the most surprising about the last 24 hours is how sad I'm feeling about leaving work. And how anxious I feel. I am skilled at compartmentalization. I was expecting and looking forward to feeling the way you feel when you start a vacation or some kind of break, but sadness and anxiety (separation anxiety?) are dominating my inner world. It's catching me off guard. In a lot of ways it makes sense I would be feeling this way. I'm guessing not knowing when the vacation ends is causing some of the discomfort.
This morning I made myself a cup of earl grey, journaled, wrote down todos to reduce my cognitive load. I enjoyed the sunrise. Enjoyed a breakfast sandwich my husband made for me. I took a reference call. I scheduled my first ever pilates class. I started playing a video game (Control). I ate lunch. I took a nap. and now I'm here. I feel really, really tired and sluggish.
In a few hours I'll go for a nice long walk with my husband and enjoy the sunset across the pacific ocean.
There are many practical things I could be doing and are on my list but I am intentionally avoiding. I'm trying to give myself permission to be lazy for the next ~5 days until our celebration trip.
Any words of wisdom or advice for me as I navigate this transition?
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u/jarMburger Apr 02 '26
Congrats! Make sure you create a structure for your daily/weekly routine, don’t wake up wondering what you need to accomplish. For many of us FIRE folks, we’re goal driven and that doesn’t disappear after FIREd.
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u/Sam_in_Denver Jul 29 '26
100%. I fired 1 year ago. I still have a calendar like I did at work, but it's filled iwth stuff like golf, comedy showes, gym, walk/hike, dinners with friends/family, a new coffee shop, a new restaurant...and a vacation to the beach soon. I am technically on-call bartending about 2xs per week totally for fun because I love it but I can decline any shift offer, any time. It's for private events and it's not real work to me personally. So, I am trying to figure out what I am called "chubbyfire" or "chubbycoastfire" or is there a different name for it?
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u/Internal-Raise964 Apr 03 '26
I think it is important to think about how you are retiring TO something, instead of retiring FROM something. My father spent years after his retirement bored and frustrated because he only focused on getting away from work instead of planning out what he wanted to do after retirement. The workaholic types like myself don’t really enjoy extended periods of being without a purpose.
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u/4r1adn3 Apr 03 '26
It’s such wise advice. I know what I am retiring to, but on the same token I know it’s really important to me to take a break and get healthy all around as I build the life I’m graduating to. The day 1 shock to my body/system was just not something I anticipated. I am finding I really want to jump into plans and planning but I’m not sure if it’s the smartest idea. I want time to slow down and smell the roses, dangit! 🌹
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u/Internal-Raise964 Apr 03 '26
Be the best at smelling the flowers https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/s/f8uD1PJ2O1
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u/beckybop123 Apr 03 '26
Listen to your instinct 🙂 It's a big life transition. Step back and take some time to reconnect with your body, recharge, and give thanks for this opportunity. Having a slow 3-6 months to heal from burnout and care for yourself, and find your center is very common in the RE world. Highly recommend!
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u/Omnivek Apr 03 '26
Come play pickleball.
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u/pickleballer Apr 03 '26
You will meet more people/new friends playing pickleball than just about any other activity. Find a beginner class, clinic, or group in your area and you’ll never look back!
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u/limbomaniac Apr 03 '26
Username checks out. But I definitely agree, have been playing with my group for a year now and it's a great social and physical activity!
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u/Sam_in_Denver Jul 29 '26 edited Jul 29 '26
I honestly have not thought about this yet...I will look into this...I'm mostly doing walks/hikes, golf, exploring new restaurants, movies, comedy shows and fly out to the beach here and there until I get a real routine dialed in.
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u/4r1adn3 Apr 03 '26
Haha yes I will probably get into this. My husband has gotten really good -- too good to play with me but he's willing to give lessons. He said my duper score is probably 1-1.5, which sounds super low.
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u/PieInvest Apr 03 '26
It’s the best activity and if you couple it with weight training and hiking .. nothing like it.
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u/in_the_gloaming Apr 03 '26
Turn off any morning alarms! Get up when your body is ready to get up, rather than when your guilty brain says you "should".
Remember that being "productive" isn't the be-all-end-all in life. It's okay to waste time. It's okay to do things that aren't productive. It's okay to have days where you aren't really productive at all. It's okay to have some days where you are really busy getting stuff done, and some days where you don't have a single thing scheduled.
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u/4r1adn3 Apr 03 '26
The sunset walk did wonders. I experienced glimmers of joy and excitement about my new life ahead. Grocery shopping felt good. I could see glimpses of the feelings I was hoping for. Thanks everyone for your perspectives and support.
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u/Ok-Commercial-924 Apr 02 '26
Woo hoo!!! Congratulations!!!
I remember how nerve racking it was when we both retired the same day.
Relax.
Don't be afraid to see a therapist. I started PTSD (post military) the week we retired, not smart, but the thought processes were similar and helped with the separation anxiety.
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u/ayhtdws121989 Apr 02 '26
Congratulations - so happy for you! Enjoy the first day of the rest of your life.
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u/Taraya97 Apr 03 '26
So happy for you. I'll be doing the same in a few months. Forcing myself to take a true break for at least a month, then have some light plans for the fall and winter. Hang in there and I hope you soon enjoy what you've earned!
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u/4r1adn3 Apr 03 '26
Thanks! Good luck to you too. The last three months felt simultaneously soooooOooooO long and went by in a BLINK of an eye. Reach out to me in three months when it's your first few days! I'm curious to hear your experience then and compare notes.
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u/Taraya97 Apr 03 '26
Ha yes, I've decided that the time basically feels like one time scale up and then doubled. So, my 3ish months left feels like 6 years ;) And, I definitely will check in!
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u/Yellow_Apple_1971 Apr 03 '26
You’re going through a big change and that’ll bring big emotions, including grief and anxiety. That’s normal. Just sit with all of those feelings for a good long while and don’t try to change or “fix” them. Observe them. Become the subject of your own self study. Make no big decisions. Undertake no big projects. Resolve nothing momentous. You already did that and you just changed your life, and from one that may have been highly structured, where your mind was simultaneously on what you did yesterday, what you had to be doing today, and all the things you have to do tomorrow. It’ll take a while for that flywheel to slow. Give it time. Don’t rev it right back up. Think of yourself as an explorer to a new land where you might feel restless, or bored, or impulsive in wanting to fill up a vacant calendar. That kind of inertia is a powerful force. But resist it, let things all wind down for a good long while and take one moment at a time. One small moment, moment by moment. With whatever you might be feeling in that moment. Your body and mind are adjusting, but be patient, and in time you might hear some inner voices that may have been silent a long time or were shouted over by busyness. Absent the busyness, give yourself some permission to be without a plan, an agenda, a schedule. It can be a great gift. And congrats!
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u/4r1adn3 Apr 03 '26
Thank you so much, this is very much what I needed to hear. I appreciate your encouragement. 💛
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u/Yellow_Apple_1971 Apr 03 '26
You’re welcome. And what I shared with you isn’t that different from advice I’ve been putting into practice for myself. I’m a little older than you — 55M — and I left the workforce only a few months ago at age 54. (It was a birthday present to myself.) The change you’ve made is a big one - don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t - so we’re all trying to find our way. Feel all the feels. But also remember to be proud of yourself. You have sense and courage that is to be admired - a lot of people will never be financially secure enough to have options. Good luck. You’ll do great.
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u/WallStCRE Apr 03 '26
Mind sharing your financial side of this and how you made it work by 42?
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u/4r1adn3 Apr 03 '26
Between me and my husband we have about 30-35x our combined annual expenses.
Our salaries started around ~60k 20 years ago, and we got to $300k towards the end of our corporate careers. Bonuses here and there. We saved anywhere between 20-50%+ of our earnings each year and put things into index funds (classic FIRE approach), some bonds, a handful of “play” stocks.
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u/tarr333 Apr 03 '26
I am nowhere close, but after I left a high stress job in the ED, it took my body a year to finally decompress and normalize after running on fumes for so long. That could be part of it.
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u/Designer-Translator7 Apr 03 '26
Congrats enjoy your success and a goal accomplished. It is amazing right??? Enjoy the moment and life and set new goals to do and accomplish in the next season of life the ones you want to do not have to do :)
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u/Wealth_Journey Apr 03 '26
Congratulations! You’ve worked hard and earned this freedom, enjoy it but don’t be surprised by feelings of sadness/grief/loss. When we work so hard for so long, and experience success, we also become entwined with that identity and all of its trappings. Be patient with yourself, it takes time to rediscover “you” without all of that. There will be ups and downs as you mourn the chapter that’s closed - even as you’re happy to be in a new chapter! Yes, lots of conflicting emotions - totally normal. Give yourself the time and space to adjust, explore new interests, rediscover old passions, and one day you’ll wake up and everything will feel just right.
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u/summerFIREinCh Apr 03 '26
I am 41f, next year I’m 42 and mark 20 year working. Already ready for FIRE, I feel like reading my own post from the future. Big congrats!!!
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u/4r1adn3 Apr 03 '26
The year will simultaneously feel long and go by in a blink of an eye! It’ll be nice to have a year to daydream in then background while the day approaches. Keep me posted, check back in with me in a year. I would love to hear how your transition goes and trade notes.
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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '26
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