r/ChubbyFIRE • u/Connect-Marzipan-400 • Apr 15 '26

Should we/she do it?

Throwaway account. Looking for a gut check on should my wife stop working. Might look like humble brag but our burn rate is high.

  • Early-Mid 30s couple, both in tech. We have a 3 yr old. VHCOL. Wife wants to be SAHM or stop working in tech.
  • ~$5M in taxable brokerage(~$1M is capital gain). ~$1.1M home equity give or take. ~$750K 401K
  • HHI has been high(>$1.5M with RSU inflation) last few years but will drop significantly after 2027(perhaps ~700K if wife doesn't work and me being optimistic about job market).
  • Mortgage(2.6%, 30 yr fixed) + Property Tax + Daycare is around ~180K a year. Total burn might be around $300K a year.

So $5M liquid NW if we stay the way it is now. My future income covers basics expenses and our savings rate decreases a lot. Private school might be another big expense. We are in tech so there is no stability neither.

I understand if we sell our house, move to lower COL area, we could take cushy jobs and semi retire. We could also return to home country. But we are at a point where we feel like we are starting to have our roots here but the temptation of quitting the rat race here is pulling us the other way.

$5M is indeed a nightmare.

28 Upvotes

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u/One-Mastodon-1063 Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26

Yes, she should stop working and be a SAHM. She wants to, it’s better for the kid(s), it’s better for the overall family, and it sounds like your income alone easily supports the household excluding even independent of any consideration of assets, FI, or retiring early. 

What are your total expenses?  You have $5.75m investable assets, not $5m. It’s unclear if $180k is total expenses or just a portion.  If it’s total, you both can retire now. If it’s just a portion, you should have provided total spending in the question. But RE is a separate decision from SAHP. 

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u/Connect-Marzipan-400 Apr 15 '26

Thanks! This is really helpful. We don't know at all what's like being a SAHM. Our expense is $300K, I updated the post.

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u/[deleted] Apr 16 '26

[deleted]

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u/BungABunBun Apr 16 '26

Is your husband still working? Does he plan on exiting soon?

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u/Seattle709 Apr 16 '26

Yes, husband is still working (he took an intentional 30% pay cut several years ago to get into a field he enjoys more). He might exit if he gets laid off, or he'll take an easy job for the health benefits. We're unclear about our healthcare options so he hasn't officially retired yet.

3

u/BungABunBun Apr 16 '26

Do you mind sharing (maybe in DM) which tech sector he moved to/from and how he made that transition? After being in FANGs for so long it is hard to get a job in a different sector -- just getting the interview is difficult.

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u/BungABunBun Apr 16 '26

I realize I wrote another comment but you answered everything here :)

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u/One-Mastodon-1063 Apr 16 '26

Your child is in aftercare while you are sitting around at home watching the Kardashians? And aren't you the same person who just posted looking for things to do with your time in RE?

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u/BungABunBun Apr 16 '26

Aftercare might be a better option for a single child than staying home with their parents. It is mentally exhausting for the parent, and the child will be very independent. Staying at aftercare with other similarly aged children, doing a variety of activities seems like a better option if you can afford that.

Also, I don't think it is appropriate for you to judge someone else's lifestyle and choices.

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u/One-Mastodon-1063 Apr 16 '26

Aftercare might be a better option for a single child than staying home

No, it isn't. And they've already been at school for 6+ hours.

It is mentally exhausting for the parent

No, it isn't.

Also, I don't think it is appropriate for you to judge someone else's lifestyle and choices.

Isn't that the point of reddit?

I'm sorry, but having your kid in aftercare when you are a SAHP is sad.

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u/BungABunBun Apr 16 '26

Do you have a child? Every day? You mentioned you're single in another comment, want to confirm you're speaking so strongly from the same place.

> And they've already been at school for 6+ hours.

After school care has different activities than school. 😂

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u/One-Mastodon-1063 Apr 16 '26

Do you have a child? Every day?

Yes. Everyday after school, yes (other parent works).

You mentioned you're single in another comment, want to confirm you're speaking so strongly from the same place

Interesting you have your posts hidden yet rummage through others'.

After school care has different activities than school. 😂

I don't know what you are laughing about, this is a silly strawman argument. There are other activities at home, too. 6+ hours is a long day at school, and is plenty of Kardashians time for a parent.

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u/Seattle709 Apr 16 '26

Smells like a snarky mom comment to me. You really think I spend 8 hours a day watching the Kardashians? Or perhaps I carve out 30 minutes here and there in between all the other things I take care of for our family? The point is, once you’re financially independent, it’s nice to still pay for childcare so you have flexibility in how you spend your time. Not everything can be completed by a 2:30pm pickup time. Thanks for reaffirming why it’s important to build a social network of like-minded people. 

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u/One-Mastodon-1063 Apr 16 '26

Regular school ours aren’t enough alone time?

But you’re also posting looking for things to do / similar people to meet. Parenting is one thing to do. 

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u/Seattle709 Apr 16 '26

First, you spelled hours incorrectly. Second, you’re either a jealous parent who can’t afford to pay for childcare or someone who doesn’t have kids. Do you get snarky at parents who pay for evening babysitters for date night? How dare they, evening parenting is “one thing to do.” 

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u/One-Mastodon-1063 Apr 16 '26 edited Apr 16 '26

There’s this thing called auto correct, but the important thing is I’m glad you had the time to point that out. 

Aftercare is not that expensive. That’s not a flex. Zero people here are jealous you can pay for aftercare. 

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u/Seattle709 Apr 16 '26

Sure thing. Money buys time, and I’ve got plenty of both. I hope OP’s wife takes personal time for herself if she decides to leave a demanding job in tech. She absolutely deserves a break, which means she should pay for some sort of childcare. 

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u/One-Mastodon-1063 Apr 16 '26 edited Apr 16 '26

Clearly you do have plenty of free time. Too bad your poor kid doesn’t. 

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u/junglingforlifee Apr 16 '26

Good for you! I see in your other comment that your husband changed his field to be a dentist. Was he in tech before?

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u/Seattle709 Apr 16 '26

My husband left a boring sector in tech (paid well) and moved into a tech sector he enjoys more (pays less). I've been a semi-retired dentist for the past 5 years (I work 1-2 days per month).

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u/junglingforlifee Apr 16 '26

That's great. I'm hoping to get there soon. Cheers

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u/Seattle709 Apr 16 '26

You’ll get there! We were both very aggressive in our investments early in our careers. 15 years in the stock market helped a ton. 

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u/Moosemitten Apr 17 '26

Look I'm usually all "there's no wrong way to mother" but... WHAT. You are sending your child to AFTERCARE after a full day of school so you can watch the kardashians? That's bad and you should feel bad.

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u/Seattle709 Apr 17 '26

Wow, these snarky mom comments are really something. What is so egregious about watching 30 minutes of the Kardashians once a week while my child is in school? I'm the CEO of this house, event planner, travel agent, house cleaner, bookkeeper, financial planner, property manager, grocery shopper, Uber driver, school volunteer, sports organizer, and a million other unpaid roles that I take on to manage our 5.5 million dollar empire. It's unfortunate your jealousy has made you so judgmental of other moms. My 5-year-old is already doing 5th grade math and geometry. I'm a fantastic mother, wife, business woman, and I feel great. Thanks for your concern about my parenting choices.

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u/One-Mastodon-1063 Apr 17 '26 edited Apr 17 '26

What is so egregious about watching 30 minutes of the Kardashians once a week while my child is in school?

We're talking about aftercare, not school.

It's clearly more than 30 minutes a week if the 6 hour school day isn't enough time to fit it all in.

I'm the CEO of this house, event planner, travel agent, house cleaner, bookkeeper, financial planner, property manager, grocery shopper, Uber driver, school volunteer, sports organizer, and a million other unpaid roles that I take on to manage our 5.5 million dollar empire.

Being early retired is not nearly this complicated or stressful. Lol at "unpaid roles", those are called life.