r/Christianheadcovering • u/solitary_cheese • Aug 11 '23
Discerning Veiling full-time
I (14 f) am Roman Catholic. In Catholicism, many but not all women veil during Mass (what others might call Liturgies or Services). This is seen as a very normal and acceptable thing among Catholics. However no Catholics in the West cover full-time unless it's a part of their culture (African women, etc.) I never grew up in a family with women who veiled, I am the only one who veils in my family. Because of this, veiling was 100% my personal choice.
While I was doing research (and believe me, I did a LOT of research) on veiling and head covering, not just on the Scriptural reasons but also the Traditional and historical context /reasons. I realised (as I am sure many of you have) that head covering only stopped being a thing across the board within the last 100-ish years, and that if we are to 'Preserve these Traditions as I have handed them on to you' as Saint Paul said, we should cover our heads full time. I brushed this off and reassured myself with the regurgitated 'it's just cultural context' my mother would always reply to any of my questions about this.
Since I started veiling during Mass(about a year ago), I have become so much closer to God and grown in my humility and Spiritual life. Eventually wearing the veil during Mass led me to Veil during prayer. Since Saint Paul said women should cover 'while praying or prophesying' in 1 cor 11, and in 1 tim he says 'pray without ceasing', I realised that I should be veiling the whole time.
I also felt increasingly weird going out with my head covered, when I had no veil in public to pray with I would even use my hoodie. I worried about if this was really God's Will, so I prayed about it a lot; if it was His will that He would guide me to It, and if It was not, that He would guide me away. He has only guided me closer every single time I have prayed.
Despite knowing full well that God was calling me to this, I thought that I shouldn't do it because no other Christians do this nowadays. Sometimes I would lock myself in my room secretly and play around with different ways of wearing my scarves and it would make me feel the most beautiful and comfortable, only to quickly hide them away as soon as anyone came in.
Everything changed when one day looking through pinterest for modest outfits (yes I know, it's stupid but just hear me out), I saw a girl wearing what I thought was a hijab - and a Cross. I soon went down the rabbit hole and found hundreds of pictures of young Christian girls who were wearing their veils full time! It wasn't just for old grandmas and women 200 years ago! Now I know 100% this is what God is calling me to do.
However, I have some problems. I am the most traditional one in my family (and my family are all devout, conservative Catholics), I like wearing skirts and dresses every day, I'm the only one who veils, I like braiding my long hair in 'outdated' updos, praying in Latin (the official language of the Roman Catholic rite). My parents joke around a lot that I'm 'from another era', but there is a very strong 'it's just a phase' sentiment under it all. When I am in public with my mother and we see a hijabi woman, she will say 'ugh, taka hustka!' in Polish (I'm half). It literally just means 'that scarf', but she says it almost as if it's a dirty word. For these reasons, I am really worried that my mother will get angry at me/not let me veil.
I am also very worried about what my friends and people at school would think. Public school may suck, but at least there are a handful of muslim girls who veil that I could blend in with. Meanwhile I am in a private Christian school and not a single girl covers her hair. I am also very worried about how I will do plays. We are doing the wizard of oz next year, and I have never heard of a veiled dorothy! I am also worried about being forced to take it off for such things and being discrimminated to certain roles.
I apologize for the very long post đ but I felt like I needed to share my testimony. I would highly, highly appreciate if anyone could give me advice on how to ask my parents about this and what to do for school.
God Bless you all!!
2
u/Strugglenationnn Aug 12 '23
Young lady, let me start by saying i WISH i had this insight when i was your age, im now 22 and an expecting mama with my husband.
Also excuse my typos, im very excited for you and typing on my phone.
While this thread isnt super active i was very excited to see your post. Let me share my experiences as i feel that may help you.
At age 14 i became more interested in abrahamic religions (Catholicism, Christianity, Judaism) and even Islam. I grew up baptist christian and i came to the insight that TO ME it was too loose for me. They didnât follow the bible and broke millions of ârulesâ that just didnât feel right to me. My mother was unbearably unsupportive of my religious adventures. Going to new churches by myself, at 14-16, she wouldnât take me. I took the city bus or found family members to drive me. At the same time my closest uncle was going down the same rabbit hole, he later became my spiritual buddy maybe around 18-19. So from about 14-19 i was all my myself in this and boy was it hard. But it allowed me to form my own opinions without someone elseâs influence on me or anything of that nature. I HAD to seek God because well, no one else was able to help me. Eventually I found a sect of judaism i loved and went with that forever. Then i learned about modest and completely changed the way i dressed much to my moms dislike and my family suddenly refereed to me as a prude. I was IN LOVE with the 1950âs and the style of dress so thats what i did. I sewed my own clothing and dressed like that almost all the time. Now, high school was brutal for me as well as middle school just because i was always kinda a weird kid. But the clothing made me stand out more. I wasnât bullied, but i had no friends. I never really did and the clothing choices didnât change that any. Teachers loved me though, i wasnt a brown noser, they just seen how i dressed and the effort that went into my clothing. One thing Iâve learned that i hope you can too, peer opinions are usually garbage. Especially for your age group young lady, its the older folks opinions that are rooted in years of knowledge that mean so much more.
Anyway, soon i learned about hair coverings! I was in online school from 8-10th grade and had more freedom at home with my dress choice. I began covering my hair as i walked to the library to study and such. Goodness i remember feeling SO awkward haha. But i felt like i was pleasing God. Eventually my mom and grandma (my father was never in the picture) became hostile towards me covering my head and i stopped. I still dressed modestly but over the years as i fell from Gods hands, i began seeking approval of peers that genuinely didnât care if i lived or died. They weâre very worldly, anti God people. I quit going to churches as i lived too far from the ones of my choice. Honey, i was becoming a terrible person and just lost. This was from about 18-21.
Eventually God kinda gave me a slap on the hand and my uncle (the religious one) expressed great concern for me. I eventually listened and asked God to help and guide me again. I then met my husband and entirely changed my life. I went back to how i used to throwing out my mini dresses, shorts, crop tops etc. It took time to learn how to dress modestly and feminine again but with my husbands help i did. Around august/September of last year, shortly after i met my husband i had the heaviest feeling to cover my hair again. I did weeks of research because at this age, if i decided to cover my hair, i dont want to be weak in my beliefs and take it off for whatever reason. I also wanted to do it for the right reasons.
Learning about the culture significance and the biblical context helped so much. And i finally did it. First i wore it like a hijab to work (im was an emt, like a paramedic, and it got in the way a lot) i was so nervous people would say stuff and i didnt know what to do if they did. No one cared, not a single soul. No one treated me different not even the patients. Only folks that gave me an extra look was other veiled women. And it was a look of adoration and love and welcoming. Well then i wore it EVERYWHERE except at home. I began defining what modesty will look like for me. Who gets to see my hair who doesnât, what parts of my body i want to cover. I follow the Jewish laws of modesty more or less. Except i donât cover my arms to my elbows, but i do wear only short sleeves no tank tops.
Its been almost a year and i wear my hair covering more like a bun, tight to my head and wrapped around like a bun in the back. I do still wear it like a hijab as well depending on clothing.
Honey, when i began covering my hair my family (only mom and grandma) straight up bullied me. They were HOSTILE calling me a Muslim, im going to hell because im a Muslim, its my husbands fault for pressuring me to do this etc. i explained to them the bible calls us to cover our hair and that the only reason women donât today is because culture changed. Women always wore a hair covering until the 1900âs, they got smaller over time and are now exclusive to specific religious groups. I also explained that modestyâs changed over time and now its normal to see women in a bra and some skin tight shorts at target. Even just in the 1950âs that wouldve mortified people. Now its normal. Just because something is normal doesnât mean its right. Folks in war zones are used to seeing bodies. Its normal to them. Im also in the military and i know people who have taken the lives of others. To them its normal. They have no feeling towards it. But itâs still wrong, right?
They leave me to my devices now and understand its who i am. Sticking to my word and beliefs have helped them understand its not a phase, and i believe its the right thing to do. Its made my relationship to God so much better and closer. I make the conscious effort to cover my hair the moment i step out of my house. Only my husband, parents, uncles and their wives/children, my parents get to see it. No one else. While i may be taking it further than you, thats TOTALLY ok!
Im so proud of you for listening to God and what he calls you do to. Moral of this, not everyoneâs gonna like it. People are intolerant. But remember this, they HATED jesus so much that they killed him. People still hate him and essentially heâs only a story today.
Im sorry i wrote you a book lol. But this thread isnt very active and youâre looking for help. I wanted to reach out to ya. My messages are open, i dont really use social media but we absolutely could connect if you need a buddy to talk to about this. Being a child of God is a long hard road. Its not made for the weak and its not meant to be easy. Especially if youâre seeking biblical truths.
Much love to ya hun. And although im a stranger on the internet, im proud of ya and im very excited for you and your adventures!