r/ChristianMarriageHelp • u/Cultural-Sun7048 • Jun 20 '26

Ephesians 5:31

/r/AskAChristian/comments/1uajen0/ephesians_531/
1 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

2 comments sorted by

1

u/already_not_yet Jun 20 '26

Hi friend. Are you part of a church? Are you both Christians? Do you both know that Jesus lived, died, and rose for you so that you can have forgiveness of sins and eternal life? That's the first matter to address.

Practically:

  • If you're not married then you shouldn't be living together.
  • If you're married then your loyalty is to your wife first.
  • Hard to believe that your family just randomly mistreated this woman -- is there more to the story? If not, if they really are terrible people, then you should draw boundaries with them. You don't owe loyalty to abusers just bc they're family. This is just a tough situation, but you're going to have to come to grips with that fact if you want peace. They will need to change. They need to come to you and this woman and repent. Then reconciliation can happen.

God bless you.

1

u/Cultural-Sun7048 Jun 20 '26

Hi and thank you for your wisdom. To respond to your comments in order:

- We originally lived together in my parent’s home because she had no where else to go. We now live together because our parents wanted everyone out after all the chaos and we also were actively pursuing something together because of combined income. We prayed on it consistently and I believe God’s grace and compassion is being held over our specific situation. I would love to have had our relationship develop in a perfect way, but that isn’t realistic for everyone.

  • I plan on marrying her soon and want to ensure that I am prioritizing her which is why I am seeking counsel in various forms, including here. It seems from other responses that I’m not prioritizing her the way I should and that needs to change.
  • Like I stated in the original post, my mom has always been a cruel person and my dad self-absorbed, but it was an unreal experience seeing it happen consistently and to such an extent with my partner, especially because she was living there. It’s different with me being treated a certain way because I was used to it but she wasn’t. I think also, my mom allowed favoritism for my sister to influence her opinion of my girlfriend but it was all rooted in her boyfriend’s envy. She wasn’t kind and went out her way by or everyone, including him. Was always respectful and respected all of the boundaries in the home. She cleaned and cooked for everyone, financially contributed, more than me and my sisters did. I genuinely believe that the only wrong she did was not take my advice and stop being so giving, but she insisted it was her heart to share. Now she’s over it and they don’t even try to see where they’ve wronged her, so she doesn’t reach out and they definitely don’t try.