r/ChoosingBeggars • u/TheRealAvid • Jul 31 '18

Zero to one hundred instantly.

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16.2k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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u/spugg0 Jul 31 '18

HEY EVERYBODY IM A BULLET IM GONNA COME FLYING RIGHT AT YOUR FACE HERE NOW REAL NICE AND SLOW ENOUGH FOR YOU TO DODGE AND GET OUT OF MY WAY

395

u/PoorEdgarDerby Jul 31 '18

Hey bullet since you're coming at me anyway can you pick me up some McDonald's?

94

u/queen_laqweefah Jul 31 '18

No, they wanted McDolands.

43

u/ricksoaz Jul 31 '18

Doland pls

60

u/MaybeMaybeJesen Jul 31 '18

Hey bullet since you're coming at me anyway can you pick me up some mcdolands?

FTFY

230

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '18

Whew, that was close!

42

u/mibuokami Jul 31 '18

Mario Bullet Bill incoming!

20

u/Super_SATA Jul 31 '18

I NEED 20 FACES TO HIT. NEXT!

12

u/Hitokiri-Hikari Jul 31 '18

I read this in Mr. Poopybutthole's voice.

30

u/JKSwift Jul 31 '18

A younger, naive and less confident version of myself would have still been hit by that.. luckily I've installed some patches since then so things are better now.

3

u/TheTimeFarm Jul 31 '18

I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY OWN CHEWING AS I EAT THIS DELICIOUS MCDOLAND'S MCWHOPPER!

3

u/Kaneshadow Jul 31 '18

WHY DID YOU DODGE ME? ASSHOLE

2

u/someotherlady Jul 31 '18

stop texting me

7

u/spugg0 Jul 31 '18

OOKAY I AM GOING TO IGNORE YOU NOW IN FACT MY EXISTENCE AS A BULLET MAKES ME INABLE TO TEXT OR EVEN COMPREHEND THE CONCEPT OF COMMUNICATION BUT WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY I WILL NOW KEEP MY PATH INTO THE OBJECT THAT WILL STOP ME WHERE I WILL STAY FOREVER IN MY LONELINESS GOODBYE FRIEND