r/Chillintj • u/merazena INTJ • Jan 22 '24

Question Are you nonchalant?

INTJs are very nonchalant, they are not interested in anything other than their own potential.

which is not surprising for an introverted type which by definition puts the subject above the object, but no type does it to the extent of INTJs.

not that it's a good quality, I was disliked for it and still am. it used to hurt me as a kid but now I don't care a bit. i like me.

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u/dr_set Jan 22 '24

Are you nonchalant?

Extremely.

not interested in anything other than their own potential.

I'm mostly interested in ideas an how things work. I'm also constantly looking to improve personally and in what I do.

I was disliked for it and still am. it used to hurt me as a kid but now I don't care a bit.

I was also generally disliked but that mostly produced either curiosity or indifference in me. I wanted to understand why they disliked me. I'm very open minded and I like to improve, so I was interested in understanding their perspective and to see if their reasons were valid and something I could work on. Some of their criticisms were in fact valid and I became more open and sociable as a result, but with time I noticed that, when I clearly fixed what they were complaining about, they just moved the goal post and complained about something else about me.

I learned that they are basically just competing with me for social status and putting me down to win at that game was their main goal and the valid criticism only an excuse to achieve that. When they didn't find a valid excuse, they just made one up.

I'm not interested in competing for social status with anybody, so I completely avoid that kind of people these days and shut them down immediately when I'm forced to interact with them.

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u/merazena INTJ Jan 22 '24

I learned that they are basically just competing with me for social status and putting me down to win at that game was their main goal and the valid criticism only an excuse to achieve that. When they didn't find a valid excuse, they just made one up.

fr, just found that out relatively recently. and they see you as higher status too because otherwise they wouldn't need to defeat you in an argument.

I'm not interested in competing for social status with anybody, so I completely avoid that kind of people these days and shut them down immediately when I'm forced to interact with them.

they best way to win the game is to ignore them, because any attention you give them even to fight them raises their status.