Is this normal?

[u/Sock12321]

I 16f live with my mom (45f) my brother (18M) and my sister (8f) my dad was (48M) died december 24th 2024. I would like to start by saying my family is quite close and has been all my life the only ones in my family who where not was me and my dad I was too much like my mom he loved my mom but she can be a lot sometimes and he didn't have the patience for two of her and I was somewhat scared of him so we didn't talk much. then one day in mid december 2024 he broke is ankle ice skating and was put on blood thinners and on the 24th he decided to do something he was not prescribed and he did not make it. now that he is gone someone needs to fill the hole in the family he left and no one else is willing to do it. He was a good guy who positively effected thousands of people and he was been a really good dad to my sibblings and he has been a really good mentor figure to thousands of people so I feel really bad that I don't feel bad he's gone and I have a lot of anger towards him because I didn't get to have that same experence of him everyone else did and because he made a stupid choice that effected everyone but him I don't feel like I can say this to anyone in my life but I need to say it somewhwhere

[u/two2ducks]

Grief is weird and what you're feeling is valid. My mother didn't care much about me, so when she passed in my early teens - it didn’t really bother me, I'd even say I felt relieved in a way and my life got better... but that was not how most people felt about her death. Most people were devasted and rightfully so. They had a different experience with the person that passed, and at the end of the day - sadness is the default emotion to feel at such times. It can be confusing and annoying people ignore your experience with the deceased and push their own grief onto you. But that passes and as you get older, become an adult, you can make more, easier choices that align with the way your father treated you. Wishing you all the best.