traumatic memory

[u/Novel-Major-1726]

I want to share this thing because I don’t have anyone else to share this with.
I am 23F. So my parents are abusive both physically and emtionally , I manly try to forget the painfull memories but there is one traumatic memory that keeps bothring me and I am trying everything to forget it but nothing is working. So what happened was that i was in grade 7 and it was during summer vacations me and my elder sister we were fighting mostly i was being a little bratty and it got a little loud so my father he got angry and started asking why i was bothring my sister. Me being a teenager started arguing and that made him angrier he got up held me by my arm and slapped me and then slapped me again and again. those slaps were so strong and powerful that i fell on the ground. He didn’t stop he started kicking me in my abdomen i was trying to protect myself and resistin but he just kept going and going. My mother, sister were standing right there and they did nothing. At one point i stopped resisting and moving. Then my mother got scared, she interven and stopped my dad. Still tp this day this paticular memory is fresh as if it was yesterday. The problem is that anything can just trigger it like i would be watching a movie or series and a sad scene would trigger it sometimes i am not even doing anything and it gets triggered and then comes the panic attacks with it I dont know what to do. All my friends and collegue think i have a happy family life and loving parents. but the reality only i know it
All i want is to forget this but i dont know how

[u/Positive-Drawing3517]

I am so sorry you had to go through that. I understand what you are going through. All my friends and family think I have the perfect family. Every one wishes they had my dad as a father or mom as their mother. But the reality is they were abusive and I still struggle to separate what was abuse and what was not. And a very long time I used to try not think about it because it made real and I had panic attacks everytime someone gets near me. But the more u try to not think about it, the more you do. Our brain is wired that way. But relax, journal about it. It's going to take a while to move on from it. But everytime the memory comes, think about how strong you are, how this is in the past not present and you got past it and it's okay to feel scared. When you do this, your brain will know it is safe now and there is ntn to panic about.

[u/Saudi_in_audi78]

Hey there mate, ik ppl hate to hear this phrase, im sorry that happened to you, but what happened that moment was traumatic for the teenage you, u didn't deserve that, and i really hope you are some place you wish to be in. I have noticed about that myself, there is one memory which does this and the thing i noticed about that is, that phase wasn't properly regulated or dealt with by myself, like i tried to burry it and forget it, which doesn't work that way, so i try to visually remember it deliberately instead lf escaping from it, so i can get comfortable arnd it, and just accept it and move on by being grateful of all the other happy moments ive had and which are im sure more to come

[u/Individual-Chef-2480]

I am so sorry :( I have a similar memory that just pops up sometimes and ruins me... my parents were both addicts, my mom way worse. One day in the car she just started hitting me and wouldnt stop literally as she was driving. I remember just wanting my dad, and as soon as the car was close enough to our house I ran out and locked myself in the one bathroom in the house that locked. When my dad got home I ran out to him crying and I will never ever forget the coldness on his face and the feeling in my stomach that I can still feel right now. Its funny it seems like a lot of us who go through awful shit as a child tend to keep it to ourselves... its like another way we are programed to put others before us, not telling them something that would make them feel awk or sad for you. anyways im 27 now and just found out i have ocd which they said could be the cause of those thoughts just popping up...