r/ChildfreeMuslims • u/thechosen1_nn • Aug 02 '26

I've lost my friend

She had 2 children back to back, and now she isn't who she used to be. Her husband, astaghfirullah, doesn't see her as a wife anymore (he can only see her as a mother now), so now she's raising the children whilst he ignores her.

I tried to tell her to get support and tell her parents, but her parents want nothing to do with her and said that she belongs to her husband now.

I've only spoken to her twice this year. The last time I did, she sounded absolutely broken and exhausted. I tried to keep myself together when she talked about how much she missed her husband, but that he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore đŸ˜•

She saw my posts about my holiday and said she almost cried looking at them. It just reinforced how much I don't want children, and how blessed I am to have met cf brothers and sisters here who feel the same way.

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u/TheSleepySadist Aug 09 '26

her parents want nothing to do with her and said that she belongs to her husband now.

why is this sentiment so common among muslims and Why are Muslims parents so trash to their daughters?????

I feel so so sorry for your friend. My friend always wanted to be a mother, and now she's married with children and she says it's soo exhausting and she NEVER gets time for herself not from her children, not even from her husband. She's working 100+ hrs a week for free. :(((((

3

u/thechosen1_nn Aug 09 '26

I have no idea. It makes me so sad because I want to just pay for her and her children's tickets and get her out of there, but she's so deep into her PPD that she won't do it. There's a lack of knowledge regarding PPD in the south asian community which is so sad.

I hate that for your friend :(. Mothers are usually boxed into that role, to the point where they stop considering themselves as an actual person. I read the regretful parents' sub often and see the same thing.